Family Law

Family Law Questions? Ask a Family Lawyer Online.

Ask a Lawyer,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Family Law

I live in NY. I had an affair and got caught(spouse has proof)My

Customer Question
spouse(husband) has just retired with...
I live in NY. I had an affair and got caught(spouse has proof)My spouse(husband) has just retired with a pension from NYC Dept of Corrections. I have been married 25 years and he worked at this job for the last 20 of the 25. I had filed for divorce during this time(the affair) but terminated the action hoping for a reconciliation. I had also filed for divorce approx 18 months ago and also terminated it hoping for a reconciliation(before the affair). Question is-am I still entitled to half his pension if I decide to divorce him now?
Submitted: 9 years ago.Category: Family Law
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Answered in 28 minutes by:
10/1/2008
Family Lawyer: Attorney & Mediator, Lawyer replied 9 years ago
Attorney & Mediator
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 20,012
Experience: Attorney & Certified Mediator
Verified
New York is an equitable distribution state, which means that distribution is not necessarily 50/50 but what is reasonable and fair depending on each particular person's divorce case. It starts off as an equal share, but that can be reduced or eliminated because of the adultery committed. Generally reasons why you had the affair would be questioned, was it because of problems in the household, violence, etc...that made you leave the vows of marriage or whether it was just an intentional act to engage in the affair and that the marriage had no problems other than this affair. A difference can result depending on your particular situation. The multiple attempts to reconcile will also be questioned, why they did not work and who no longer wanted to be in the marriage.

BotXXXXX XXXXXne, because of the affair it is possible that your rights to the pension can be affected. I don't see you loosing the pension, but it can result in a reduction at the discretion of the court.


If I have been helpful, please click Accept for my time and research. If you need more help, please click reply. Positive Feedback is greatly appreciated and reciprocated. Feedback should relate to customer service and not about the law, which I have no control over, thank you.

Legal Disclaimer. The information given by me is not legal advice. . You should not and may not rely on anything on this website as legal advice. I am not establishing an attorney-client relationship with you. I am providing only research, resources and information only for you to be informed and educated about your particular needs and my answer is limited to the facts presented. I do not provide general or specific legal advice. . I also do not claim to be licensed to practice in the state where this information is being provided. I strive to provide quality information, but I make no claims, promises or guarantees about the accuracy, completeness, or adequacy of the information contained in or linked herein and it’s associated sites. As law is always changing, you are recommended to speak with the appropriate legal counsel for accurate and complete information. No part of this disclaimer can be reproduced without the consent of the owner. Thank you.

Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Customer reply replied 9 years ago
So what is the difference between fault and no fault divorce? Would this be a "fault situation?" The grounds for the first & second action were constructive abandonment, I did everything alone. The reconciliation aren't working because nothing changed.
Family Lawyer: Attorney & Mediator, Lawyer replied 9 years ago
Thank you for your reply.

No fault means that both of you have agreed not to place blame on the other for the break up of the marriage. A fault divorce means there is proof that one spouse is to be blamed for the marriage. In a no-fault the martial misconduct would not be considered, while in a fault divorce it would. In New York you can only file based on certain grounds for divorce [see below]. If the divorce will be uncontested, this means both of you have agreed to the reasons for the divorce and have settled property distribution through an agreement.

If he does not agree with the grounds you have stated for the divorce, then he can contest your divorce petition if he wants to prove fault. By proving fault he wants to preserve the right to use the adultery as a basis to argue against you getting the pension or a reduction. In essence if you wanted an uncontested divorce, his objections as to the grounds would change your divorce into a contested one.

Quoting New York law:

Grounds for Filing: The Complaint for Divorce must declare the appropriate New York grounds upon which the divorce is being sought. The appropriate lawful ground will be that which the parties agree upon and can substantiate, or that which the filing spouse desires to prove to the court. The divorce grounds are as follows:

(1) The cruel and inhuman treatment of the plaintiff by the defendant such that the conduct of the defendant so endangers the physical or mental well being of the plaintiff as renders it unsafe or improper for the plaintiff to cohabit with the defendant.

(2) The abandonment of the plaintiff by the defendant for a period of one or more years.

(3) The confinement of the defendant in prison for a period of three or more consecutive years after the marriage of plaintiff and defendant.

(4) The commission of an act of adultery, provided that adultery for the purposes of articles ten, eleven, and eleven-A of this chapter, is hereby defined as the commission of an act of sexual intercourse, oral sexual conduct or anal sexual conduct, voluntarily performed by the defendant, with a person other than the plaintiff after the marriage of plaintiff and defendant. Oral sexual conduct and anal sexual conduct include, but are not limited to, sexual conduct as defined in subdivision two of section 130.00 and subdivision three of section 130.20 of the penal law.

(5) The husband and wife have lived apart pursuant to a decree or judgment of separation for a period of one or more years after the granting of such decree or judgment, and satisfactory proof has been submitted by the plaintiff that he or she has substantially performed all the terms and conditions of such decree or judgment.

(6) The husband and wife have lived separate and apart pursuant to a written agreement of separation, subscribed by the parties thereto and acknowledged or proved in the form required to entitle a deed to be recorded, for a period of one or more years after the execution of such agreement and satisfactory proof has been submitted by the plaintiff that he or she has substantially performed all the terms and conditions of such agreement. Such agreement shall be filed in the office of the clerk of the county wherein either party resides. In lieu of filing such agreement, either party to such agreement may file a memorandum of such agreement, which memorandum shall be similarly subscribed and acknowledged or proved as was the agreement of separation and shall contain the following information: (a) the names and addresses of each of the parties, (b) the date of marriage of the parties, (c) the date of the agreement of separation and (d) the date of this subscription and acknowledgment or proof of such agreement of separation. (Consolidated Laws of New York - Domestic Relations Laws - Volume 8 - Sections: 170 and Article 10, Section 170, and Article 13, Section 230)




If I have been helpful, please click Accept for my time and research. If you need more help, please click reply. Positive Feedback is greatly appreciated and reciprocated. Feedback should relate to customer service and not about the law, which I have no control over, thank you.

Legal Disclaimer. The information given by me is not legal advice. . You should not and may not rely on anything on this website as legal advice. I am not establishing an attorney-client relationship with you. I am providing only research, resources and information only for you to be informed and educated about your particular needs and my answer is limited to the facts presented. I do not provide general or specific legal advice. . I also do not claim to be licensed to practice in the state where this information is being provided. I strive to provide quality information, but I make no claims, promises or guarantees about the accuracy, completeness, or adequacy of the information contained in or linked herein and it’s associated sites. As law is always changing, you are recommended to speak with the appropriate legal counsel for accurate and complete information. No part of this disclaimer can be reproduced without the consent of the owner. Thank you.

Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Customer reply replied 9 years ago
does sex have to be involved with the adultery? Basically he has proof an email affair and cell phone records.
Family Lawyer: Attorney & Mediator, Lawyer replied 9 years ago
It depends if the email does not show an admission of an affair and you have never admitted to the affair, then it would be his burden to prove to show adultery took place. Proof could be the actual sex involved, but it can also be photos or witnesses of holding hands, kissing, entering a motel room, his home, gifts and admissions of the affair.




If I have been helpful, please click Accept for my time and research. If you need more help, please click reply. Positive Feedback is greatly appreciated and reciprocated. Feedback should relate to customer service and not about the law, which I have no control over, thank you.

Legal Disclaimer. The information given by me is not legal advice. . You should not and may not rely on anything on this website as legal advice. I am not establishing an attorney-client relationship with you. I am providing only research, resources and information only for you to be informed and educated about your particular needs and my answer is limited to the facts presented. I do not provide general or specific legal advice. . I also do not claim to be licensed to practice in the state where this information is being provided. I strive to provide quality information, but I make no claims, promises or guarantees about the accuracy, completeness, or adequacy of the information contained in or linked herein and it’s associated sites. As law is always changing, you are recommended to speak with the appropriate legal counsel for accurate and complete information. No part of this disclaimer can be reproduced without the consent of the owner. Thank you.

Attorney & Mediator
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 20,012
Experience: Attorney & Certified Mediator
Verified
Attorney & Mediator and 87 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Ask Attorney & Mediator Your Own Question
Attorney & Mediator
Attorney & Mediator
Attorney & Mediator, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 20,012
20,012 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Attorney & Certified Mediator

Attorney & Mediator is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Not only did he answer my Michigan divorce question but was also able to help me out with it, too. I have since won my legal case on this matter and thank you so much for it.

LeeMichigan

Mr. Kaplun clearly had an exceptional understanding of the issue and was able to explain it concisely. I would recommend JustAnswer to anyone. Great service that lives up to its promises!

Gary B.Edmond, OK

My Expert was fast and seemed to have the answer to my taser question at the tips of her fingers. Communication was excellent. I left feeling confident in her answer.

EricRedwood City, CA

I am very pleased with JustAnswer as a place to go for divorce or criminal law knowledge and insight.

MichaelWichita, KS

PaulMJD helped me with questions I had regarding an urgent legal matter. His answers were excellent.

Three H.Houston, TX

Anne was extremely helpful. Her information put me in the right direction for action that kept me legal, possible saving me a ton of money in the future. Thank you again, Anne!!

ElaineAtlanta, GA

It worked great. I had the facts and I presented them to my ex-landlord and she folded and returned my deposit. The 50 bucks I spent with you solved my problem.

TonyApopka, FL

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

Ely

Ely

Counselor at Law

11,875 satisfied customers

Private practice with focus on family, criminal, PI, consumer protection, and business consultation.

LawTalk

LawTalk

Attorney and Counselor at Law

9,025 satisfied customers

30 years legal experience. I remain current in Family Law through regular continuing education.

Dimitry K., Esq.

Dimitry K., Esq.

Attorney

7,856 satisfied customers

I provide family and divorce law advice to my clients in my firm.

Tina

Tina

Lawyer

6,562 satisfied customers

JD, 17 years legal experience including family law

Barrister

Barrister

Lawyer

3,415 satisfied customers

Attorney with 17 years experience

P. Simmons

P. Simmons

Lawyer

3,398 satisfied customers

16 yrs. of experience including family law.

RobertJDFL

RobertJDFL

Lawyer

2,787 satisfied customers

Experienced in multiple areas of the law.

< Previous | Next >

Related Family Law Questions
My wife wants to abandon our marriage. What do I? She gave
She tested positive for trick and leaving because she said I told her to leave… read more
QuickEasyLegalHelp
QuickEasyLegalHelp
71 satisfied customers
My daughter is separated and considering divorce. She would
Hello, My daughter is separated and considering divorce. She would like to know what, if any rights she has in a divorce proceeding as her immigration papers are not completed yet. She was living with… read more
Nisha Jones, Esq.
Nisha Jones, Esq.
Juris Doctorate
1,731 satisfied customers
Ray NC law RE: Equitable Distribution and Consent Order. I
Hello RayNC law RE: Equitable Distribution and Consent Order.I understand a Consent Order is just that. The parties agreed and consented to certain things. As such, I believe this is typically not sub… read more
Ray
Ray
Lawyer
Doctoral Degree
30,828 satisfied customers
NC, Equitable Distribution laws. Equitable distribution and
greetings-NC, Equitable Distribution laws.Equitable distribution and distributive award.E.D. Judgment: marital home is over-valued. . Broker used the courts over-valued sales price. . 6 months later b… read more
Ray
Ray
Lawyer
Doctoral Degree
30,828 satisfied customers
If a business came into marriage is it part of the divorce
If a business came into marriage is it part of the divorce ownership n name never changed at marriage … read more
Legal Eagle
Legal Eagle
Attorney
Doctoral Degree
7,317 satisfied customers
Share of 50%of Equitable distribution pay tax? ( husband's
Share of 50%of Equitable distribution pay tax? ( husband's compensation )At the divorce settlement, Share of Marital assets, liquid assets, retirement accounts pay tax?Who's paying tax on?Wife has not… read more
lucy7368
lucy7368
Juris Doctor
763 satisfied customers
My ex and I are separated. We agreed that I would leave the
My ex and I are separated. We agreed that I would leave the house and my ex is staying there. There is no separation agreement as of yet. My ex is now being harassing and screaming a bunch of legal no… read more
Barrister
Barrister
Lawyer
Doctoral Degree
3,415 satisfied customers
I would like to know what the commonlaw marriage divorce
I would like to know what the commonlaw marriage divorce rights are in Colorado. I have proof of commonlaw marriage. My husband pays for the house and my car. How will this affect my rights? … read more
PaulmoJD
PaulmoJD
Attorney At Law
Doctoral Degree
106 satisfied customers
At my urging my husband filed for 'no fault' divorce. Most
At my urging my husband filed for 'no fault' divorce. Most of our property has been distributed but I was forced to use my settlement to buy a home and have lived on the remainder for nearly 18 months… read more
lucy7368
lucy7368
Juris Doctor
763 satisfied customers
Texas no fault divorce; when is asset list filed? A couple I
Texas no fault divorce; when is asset list filed?A couple I know are getting divorced. Assets $500k-$1MM. Husband hired a layer, filed paperwork about 10/15. She hasn't hired a lawyer yet, and may not… read more
INFOLAWYER
INFOLAWYER
Partner
Doctoral Degree
56,244 satisfied customers
I'm filing for a no fault divorce. There will be no division
I'm filing for a no fault divorce. There will be no division of property, she did not bring any property to the marriage. My question is about debts. The only debt as far as I know that she has is med… read more
DrakeLAW
DrakeLAW
Juris Doctorate
973 satisfied customers
I live in SC. I want to file for at fault divorce against my
I live in SC. I want to file for at fault divorce against my wife (adultery). She won't agree. I know several people that are close to her that know this is the case (she's not hiding the fact from he… read more
Ely
Ely
Counselor at Law
Juris Doctor
11,875 satisfied customers
Divorce settlement equitable distribution amount is up to
Divorce settlement equitable distribution amount is up to the date filed divorce or judgement of divorce? Ny.… read more
LegalKnowledge
LegalKnowledge
Juris Doctor
28,100 satisfied customers
I have a question about equitable distribution in North
Hi Pearl, I have a question about equitable distribution in North Carolina. … read more
LegalKnowledge
LegalKnowledge
Juris Doctor
28,100 satisfied customers
I'm looking for information on uncontested no fault divorce
Hello! I'm looking for information on uncontested no fault divorce in Ohio. When I look up Ohio revised code it states that this can be obtained through incompatibility, or separation for one year. Ho… read more
Expert James
Expert James
Doctoral Degree
11,684 satisfied customers
Im confused on what equitable distribution laws are through
Im confused on what equitable distribution laws are through a masters. If I have non-marital funds and so does my wife as defined through a prenup, does a masters weigh out the non-marital contributio… read more
Gerald, Esq
Gerald, Esq
Juris Doctor
3,182 satisfied customers
In the final trial in a NC for Equitable distribution, I
In the final trial in a NC for Equitable distribution, I remember being prepared to give an opening statement. When I looked at court procedure rules it said both would have an opp to do this. In mine… read more
Ray
Ray
Lawyer
Doctoral Degree
30,828 satisfied customers
If NC State is handling the equitable distribution of
Hi if NC State is handling the equitable distribution of property because 1 spiyse has dementis and had to have a mediator and they have had paprrs 5 months and not finished. I was told I could go ahe… read more
LegalGems
LegalGems
Juris Doctorate
10,647 satisfied customers

DISCLAIMER: Answers from Experts on JustAnswer are not substitutes for the advice of an attorney. JustAnswer is a public forum and questions and responses are not private or confidential or protected by the attorney-client privilege. The Expert above is not your attorney, and the response above is not legal advice. You should not read this response to propose specific action or address specific circumstances, but only to give you a sense of general principles of law that might affect the situation you describe. Application of these general principles to particular circumstances must be done by a lawyer who has spoken with you in confidence, learned all relevant information, and explored various options. Before acting on these general principles, you should hire a lawyer licensed to practice law in the jurisdiction to which your question pertains.

The responses above are from individual Experts, not JustAnswer. The site and services are provided “as is”. To view the verified credential of an Expert, click on the “Verified” symbol in the Expert’s profile. This site is not for emergency questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals. Please carefully read the Terms of Service (last updated February 8, 2012).

DISCLAIMER: Answers from Experts on JustAnswer are not substitutes for the advice of an attorney. JustAnswer is a public forum and questions and responses are not private or confidential or protected by the attorney-client privilege. The Expert above is not your attorney, and the response above is not legal advice. You should not read this response to propose specific action or address specific circumstances, but only to give you a sense of general principles of law that might affect the situation you describe. Application of these general principles to particular circumstances must be done by a lawyer who has spoken with you in confidence, learned all relevant information, and explored various options. Before acting on these general principles, you should hire a lawyer licensed to practice law in the jurisdiction to which your question pertains.

The responses above are from individual Experts, not JustAnswer. The site and services are provided “as is”. To view the verified credential of an Expert, click on the “Verified” symbol in the Expert’s profile. This site is not for emergency questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals. Please carefully read the Terms of Service (last updated February 8, 2012).

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x