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RayAnswers, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
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Experience:  30 years as a family law lawyer .
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I have joint custody of my son, his father calls himself a ...

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I have joint custody of my son, his father calls himself a "real concerning parent" and even though; he denied my son before he was born six years ago, now he has done nothing but make complaints through the courts about issues that really seem insignificant to many people, i.e: at what time of the day I shower my son when in my custody, if he comes to my bed and falls asleep with me by my side, etc...I was married for four years with someone else and got divorced for over a year, after relocating to a new state, the father of my son relocated here as well without giving me any notice, nor at least discussing the intentions with me. After his relocation here, and my change in marital status, with a hispanic background and raised with family members and friends in and out of my home, I decided to make one of my old friends my roommate, he is not a criminal, and has a couple of friends who hang around pretty much the entire day. I do not mind since I look at it as company, a family away from home situation, and well it is not hurting my son. His father now wants me to allow him to perform background checks on my roommate and his friends, he wants to prohibit me from allowing my son to interact with my roommate and his friends and even try to impose to not bring my son to my home to during my visitation when my roommate and\or his friends are here. Again I am certain that neither one is a felon, since I did perform a BC myself of my own friend just to watch my back before he moved in, he is a Navy Sailor and stationed in the same base I am, as well as his friends, so I have been able to interact with his leadership. I have nothing to hide, neither the people I am talking about; but I think this goes way overboard when the father of my son wants to impose so many requests based on just lack of trust on my judgement. I do understand that there is a battle in regards XXXXX XXXXX different points of view in regards XXXXX XXXXX way how I present my son with my concept of household, but my logic is, as a single mother, obviously female; I wouldn't allow a male live in my house who I don't trust, even less around my son. What could be the outcome of all this? Would I be judged as unfit mother based on this fact? Does my baby's daddy really has the right to demand such requirements?
Thanks for your question. He would have to convince the court who entered the custody orders to require this here. I cannot see this happening unless there is something more that casts doubt on these persons living with you. He might very well contact child welfare here and they might get into it. They might very well do checking here although they would not share the results.

You should just get used to having to explain this living arrangement. The perception here will be that there are strange men living with you here. The court has to decide if there are to be any restrictions here. I understand why you would want companionship

But I can also see that if an ex here keeps raising the issue you will have to deal with matters as they arise. As long as you are willing to address these to a court if they come up you will be fine here. I wish you good luck and you have my sympathy here..


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