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David (Esq.)
David (Esq.), Family Law Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 32
Experience:  Over ten years practicing primarily family law
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My future ex husband told me in mid February he wants a ...

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My future ex husband told me in mid February he wants a divorce. He has been seeing a 30 yr younger woman for ten months and been unfaithful for many years with many women. In late March I retained a divorce attorney, despite my future ex's insistence upon mediation. I know he has been very creative financially and was audited five years ago and forced to pay $250,000 in back taxes (for two years). Finally, last week he retained an attorney. During all this time, he has continued to pay all my bills and support my 17 year old daughter, who lives with me. When he found out my attorney has prepared a motion for maintenance he became angry since he has continued to pay all my expenses. My question is, what could be his motivation to expect me to continue with the status quo since he wants a divorce and could decide at any time to cut me off?

That is an interesting question and only your husband knows his motivation. However, I can venture a couple of guesses:

First, that he doesn't want someone else going through his financial affairs which will necessarily happen in a divorce setting.

Second, control. If there is a maintenance order in place, he loses control and most men don't like that. He has to pay you whether he wants to or not and thus, can't make you do anything in exchange (not saying that he has, but there is that option if he's paying voluntarily).

Third, play the field. While he's playing, you're at home and not playing and he knows that. With a divorce actually filed and now a maintenance order requested, you're moving on. You've taken away his potential ability to come home. Leaving things as the status quo, he gets to play and, at least in his mind, have the option of returning to you.

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