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I have an etiquette question. My son is marrying a girl from…

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I have an etiquette question. My son is marrying a girl from the Ukraine. We are going to the parents house next week. What are appropriate gifts?

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The father is Russian, the mother Ukraine. They have a 12 year old daughter living at home and we'd like to take gifts to all three.

Submitted: 4 months ago.Category: Etiquette
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Answered in 36 minutes by:
5/2/2018
Etiquette Expert: Olivia Kent, Family Law Attorney replied 4 months ago
Olivia Kent
Olivia Kent, Family Law Attorney
Category: Etiquette
Satisfied Customers: 5,215
Experience: Partner at Kent Law Group, LLC
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Hello and welcome to JustAnswer. My name is ***** ***** I'm an attorney. Please note this site is for general information for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Communicating with an expert on this site does not establish an attorney-client relationship. You might be offered a phone call, but you are under no obligation to accept; the phone call requests don’t come from me - they’re offered by the site - but if you do want a phone call I’d be happy to do that as well.
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Customer reply replied 4 months ago
I don’t think this is the right site. It said you answered etriquette questions but this seems for legal questions which I do not have.
Etiquette Expert: Olivia Kent, Family Law Attorney replied 4 months ago

First, can I just say (even though I suspect you know this), you don't have to bring anything. However, IF you are going to bring anything, the fact that they're Russian / Ukrainian wouldn't change that. So imagine what you would bring to anyone's home for the first time - a bottle of wine/liquor, a cake/cookies.

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Customer reply replied 4 months ago
You are wrong. The fact that they are Russian/Ukrainian makes a lot of difference. Please refund my money. I will find an answer elsewhere.
Customer reply replied 4 months ago
No I would like a refund. This is the wrong site. You should not advertise you give etiquette advice.
Etiquette Expert: Olivia Kent, Family Law Attorney replied 4 months ago

I'll be happy to notify customer service regarding your request for a refund. However, I think you should be aware that my MOTHER is part Ukrainian and I'm married (and like you and me, my husband's family is American)... so I think I know a bit more than the average person about this topic FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE.

You're under NO obligation to bring a gift at all, but you certainly can. Your son's future in laws... they're people - not caricatures of people - and just like regular Americans they appreciate food and household gifts (a la housewarming type presents) but the fact that they are Ukrainian doesn't make them a separate category of human wherein they should receive a completely unique type of gift (sheep?). But you are certainly free to disregard what I say and insult me. As I stated, I will contact customer service about your refund. Good luck with your gift and your future in laws.

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Customer reply replied 4 months ago
I’m sorry if you feel insulted but you and your mother were not born there. You were not raised in their culture and if you do any reading it tells you there are many ways to insult someone without realizing. I am not insulting my sons future in laws without talking to an etiquette expert. I’m sure you are a great lawyer but your site is misleading. I don’t need legal advice and I don’t need someone’s opinion. I want expert advice. That’s what I’m willing to pay for. Sorry if you’re offended but you are not an etiquette expert
Etiquette Expert: Olivia Kent, Family Law Attorney replied 4 months ago

My mother was born in the Ukraine. Just be aware that sometimes you insult people by making them feel like outsiders in what is THEIR country as much as it's yours. Your future daughter in law's parents live in America. Treating them not like Americans does them a tremendous disservice.

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Etiquette Expert: Olivia Kent, Family Law Attorney replied 4 months ago

I promise virtually nothing on this site - but I can promise you that. Best of luck to you. There is no need to respond. This question will be closed shortly.

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Customer reply replied 4 months ago
Except I know for a fact that they put a lot of emphasis on their culture and the “Russian” way of doing things. I would not worry if I didn’t know this about them. See I did my research on this family. I’m not making assumptions about anyone and FYI 3 of my 4 grandparents and all of my great aunts cousins etc came from Russia. So I also know a lot about the old world culture but this is 2018 and I’m trying to find out what is important to these particular people.
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