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Holiday gift question. I have a well known tradition of

Holiday gift question. I have...

Holiday gift question. I have a well known tradition of candy making for friends and family at the holidays, but this year, a dear friend was diagnosed with diabetes and I'm debating whether to send her candy. One consideration is that, of course, I don't want to discomfit her with candy if she might want to avoid it, and that too much sugar is unhealthy for her. But conversely, she enjoys the candy very much and might want to indulge in moderation. I don't want to seem insensitive either way, and I feel very awkward at the thought of asking her. I don't know a way to make this candy sugar free and I ship it to her, so the easy sugar free things I could make are not nearly as special or others aren't shelf stable, I really don't know much about sugar free cooking, and I don't really want to give her store bought sugar free candy as it's so much less special than homemade, though I suppose it's one option. I am sending her a non-food gift as well, but... she might be expecting the candy and we really enjoy making it for everyone. Do you have any insight? Thanks.

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Answered in 17 hours by:
12/8/2017
TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Etiquette
Satisfied Customers: 3,784
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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You are extremely thoughtful and lovely. Clearly you care about this person so what about if you sent her an e-mail or placed a phone call and said I'm looking forward to sending my usual tradition of homemade candy but I want to make sure that you are still comfortable with me sending the candy based on you having diabetes. I want to be sensitive and caring and so if you feel that it is a problem I will not send it. Does that feel comfortable for you?
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I await your thoughts.
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Customer reply replied 4 months ago

Thank you for the reply. Yes, I could call and wouldn't be at a loss for words as far as how to ask, however, I'd prefer to avoid that as I mentioned above. I am hoping there may be some etiquette that would inform me on how to handle this, I would like to request an etiquette Expert, Dr. Abbott.

Customer reply replied 4 months ago
Relist: Other.
Requesting Dr. Abbott

If you have done this in the past with her and that is your trademark gift, so to speak, then I would stick with your plan and maybe add a little something to the gift that does not involve candies. How does that feel for you?

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Rev Dr August Abbott
Rev Dr August Abbott, Adult Etiquette Pro
Category: Etiquette
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Thank you for asking for me and once again it's my pleasure to work with you. I think you're already leaning toward the right solution: Respect that your friend is a grown-up and can make her own decisions with regard to the candy. Include a warm, maybe 'tongue-in-cheek' note or card telling her to please mind her blood sugar because you don't want to be the one who sends her over the edge and how important she is to you.

This way you've both given her the gift she loves and told her how special she is. Who wouldn't see that as the best gift ever?

Rev Dr August Abbott
Rev Dr August Abbott, Adult Etiquette Pro
Category: Etiquette
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Customer reply replied 4 months ago

I LOVE that solution! Thanks so much! And Merry Christmas.

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