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Wow, I just had a similar real life experience a few weeks ago. I take issue with no child weddings and receptions. This goes back to looking at what a marriage is and what a celebration should look like. In your scenario, The father should have no feelings or say in the matter. If it was discussed up front that the child will be in the wedding and that was it, then the father should have given a simple yes or no. It is the bride and groom's day and their wishes. I and he may not agree with it, but he had the option to say no and leave it at that. No sense in arguing with the bride and groom's wishes because it is their day. So personal opinion aside, whatever the bride and groom wants goes.
Well, I think things should have been clarified up front. However, now that it is over, and likely the groom feels he did nothing wrong, I think the dad needs to forgive and move forward. He doesn't have to say anything to the groom but really just forgive the groom in his own heart. I would take the stance that none of this was done maliciously and that it was all miscommunication. What's done is done and harboring negative feelings towards the groom is only going to multiply the problem. And, we don't know if this was all the bride's planning and the groom was just going along with it. Unfortunately, I would consider it a hard lesson learned and move on.
Please don't forget to accept this answer so I get credit for my time.