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Dimitry Esquire
Dimitry Esquire, Attorney
Category: Estate Law
Satisfied Customers: 41221
Experience:  JA Mentor. I run my own practice that specializes in Estate Preparation and Administration
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My husband 86 yrs old has dementia/Alzheimers diagnosed in

Customer Question

My husband 86 yrs old has dementia/Alzheimers diagnosed in 2008. I am his executor and a very attentive caregiver all these years accepting all responsibilities. We made out our wills during a very stressful time. He had alcoholism, dementia and very bitter. Now 8 years later I feel the pain of the wrong decisions made by me in agreeing to his staunch, arrogant and troublesome demands in our wills. He is now much more agreeable to a few changes and understands what unfairness our will is to me, especially financially going into our older years and providing for each other. I talked to our attny and said we must make some changes to our wills, but I did not think my husband competent. Then I found out when discussing this with my husband and I draw diagrams and explain where we are and what we need to do to correct some of these things He agrees completely and can understand what I am talking about and the ramifications if we don't. I of course was now told by the attny that because she represents my husband, I must find another attny if I want to change my will. I have requested an appt with this same Attny to see if I could take my husband in for her to make the final decision after talking to my husband if she thinks he would be able to understand. She has not responded to me after abt 3 phone calls for an appt with my husband and me. I hate the thought of seeking out and doing a new will and all the new medical P.O.A. My changes would be 1. to do a waiver of my pre marriage assets (we are married 18 years:2 and to make our family division of property when we pass on of equal amts. divided between his brother and my three daughters by a previous marriage at 25% each. Also our home is Joint but the Attny keeps saying I can live there till I pass on but the house will go to our beneficiaries as stated. I never questioned this, but after 8 years I wonder what she meant? Also, I was going to take his brother out of my will because he never calls, and when he does and I try to get him to talk to my husband, he won't do it. That is when she said she could no longer represent me because I am taking his brother out of my will. I have made such a mess and don't know what to do going forth and time is of the essence at our age. Can you advise me where to go from here and is my will effective until I make a new one. And if I do have to make another will to effect these changes will I be getting a will that I am looking for?
thank you
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Estate Law
Expert:  Dimitry Esquire replied 1 year ago.

Hello and thank you for your posts. Please permit me to assist you.

I see quite a few questions and I will try to respond to them, but if I miss any please reply and I will amend my answers.

First of all, if this attorney represents your husband and not you, the attorney can request that you find someone else to do the work. There is no duty by the attorney to keep you on as clients, and since there is a very legitimate argument as to whether or not your spouse is competent, a professional attorney would likely refuse to make changes purely because the risk of malpractice and challenge to the will is so high.

I cannot comment on the joint ownership as I have not seen your documentation, but it sounds either as if the property is in trust so neither of you actively own it, or your husband's portion of the property is in trust. That would mean upon passing that goes into the trust, but then a 'life estate' is placed on the property for you, which is essentially permanent tenancy. The home after that point goes to whomever is listed in trust as the beneficiary.

Now, as far as making personal changes to your own will, you are free to do so. To find counsel I would suggest browsing the listings at and You can either make a new will, or make a 'codicil' for amending the past document.


Dimitry, Esq.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi Dimitry
thank you so much for your response. You filled in the missing pieces. And you were so right. thank you. I ran to the document and it mentioned the trust you mentioned. I knew there was more to it,when the attny would never give me a clear answer and I did not understand all the Legal Lingo in my husbands document. I of course am his executor, but with no rights. I am very upset that this Attny deceived me like that and with my husbands dementia they say they cannot change it. I think it is in my documents also but it is too late at this point and is a mute point. I still cannot believe that anyone can take my house away from me like that. I am going to change to another attorney for me, but I cannot do any changes to my husbands documents that I know of at this point. Do you have any legal thoughts on what I should do. Again thank you.Afer thinking I had all details of our wills from 9 years ago taken care of it is worse then having no wills at all. It is quite a bothersome surprise.a very appreciative customer for your legal knowledge and helpJoan
Expert:  Dimitry Esquire replied 1 year ago.


It was my pleasure, and I am sorry that you found out at this point but at least it is better now than later. As far as good attorneys, we here cannot formally give you a referral but what I can suggest is that you browse the listings at and There you can search by fees, location, experience, and expertise, and you can find competent counsel that way based on past attorney reviews and past client testimonials.

Hope that helps and please let me know if I can help assist you in any other way. Good luck to you and please take care, and kindly do not forget to positively rate so that I can obtain credit for my work. Thank you!


Dimitry, Esq.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Dimitry answered my second question, but I have not received it. please send me the response to my second question. I am having trouble accessing this second answer question and his response as he stated
Expert:  Dimitry Esquire replied 1 year ago.


This is Dimitry. What question did I fail to answer--or what specifically are you seeking that I clarify or provide to you again. Thank you!