Welcome! Thank you for your question.
The wife has the right to make the funeral decisions. However, the wife is also responsible to pay for the funeral. There is no legal obligation that the mother has to use the insurance money to pay for the funeral.
Unfortunately, this means that if the wife wants help from the mother to pay for the insurance then they are going to have to listen to what the mother wants. If the wife wants to pay for everything then she has no obligation to listen to the mother.
I cannot provide you with legal advise. I have provided you with information about the law related to your question. My answer, and any information that you find online, should not take the place of having a consultation with a lawyer in your area to advise you regarding your specific issues.
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