Hello Vincent, and welcome back to Just Answer!
My name is XXXXX XXXXX it will be my pleasure to help you today.
Thanks for your patience; you're right, it IS difficult to find many 'clean' ones, but I hope you like these:
Here are some cute one liners: Confucious says: "People who live in plexi-glass houses should not throw abrasive cleansers."
Why is there no Disneyland in China? No one is tall enough to go on the good rides.
Real Translations That Didn't Quite Work:
The name Coca-Cola in China was first translated as Ku-kou-ko-le. Unfortunately, the Coke company did not discover until after thousands of signs had been printed, that the phrase means "Bite the wax tadpole" or "Female horse stuffed with wax," depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 Chinese characters and found a close phonetic equivalent, "Ke-kou-ke-le," which can be loosely translated as "happiness in the mouth."
In Taiwan, the translation of the Pepsi slogan "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" came out as "Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead."
Also in Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan "Finger- lickin' good" came out in translation as "Eat your fingers off."
A man was walking through Chinatown when he noticed a sign reading: "Hans Schmidt's Chinese Laundry." Being of a curious nature, he entered and was greeted by an old Oriental man who identified himself as Hans Schmidt.
"How come you have a name like that?" inquired the stranger.
"Is simple," says the old Oriental man.
"Many, many year ago when come to this country, stand in immigration line behind a big German guy. Immigration lady look at him and go, "What your name?"
He say, "Hans Schmidt."
Then she look at me and go, 'What your name?'"
"I say, Sam Ting."
The First Officer
An airplane takes off from the airport.
The captain is Jewish and the first officer is Chinese.
It's the first time they've flown together and it's obvious by the silence that they don't get along.
After thirty minutes, the Jewish Captain speaks, "I don't like Chinese."
The First Officer replies, " Ooooh, no like Chinese? Why ees that?"
The Captain says, "You bombed Pearl Harbor. That's why I don't like Chinese."
The First Officer says, "Noooo, noooo.... Chinese not bomb Pearl Harbah. That Japanese, not Chinese."
And the Captain answers, "Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese... it doesn't matter, they're all alike."
Another thirty minutes of silence.
Finally the First Officer says, "No like Jew."
The Captain replies, "Why not? Why don't you like Jews?"
The First Officer says, "Jews sink Titanic."
The Captain tries to correct him, "No, no. The Jews didn't sink the Titanic. It was an iceberg."
The First Officer replies,"Iceberg, Goldberg, Rosenberg, no mattah. All same."
If you'd like to see many more from which you can choose, please visit: http://www.chinesejokes.net/jokes.php?page=1
Please let me know if these will work for you, and if not, please click "Reply" and I will try to find some additional ones.