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Hello Christopher, let me try and assist you with your wiring issue. Is the switch you are wanting to replace a dimmer also? or just a standard 3way switch? are there any other wires in the switch box?
How many screws on each side of the old switch?
and there are 4 wires terminated to it? from a 4 wire cable in the box?
How many other switches control the same lights?
Hmm well a 3way switch will only have 3 screws. A 4way switch will have 4, and are used with 3 or more switches controlling the same lights. You're positive there is just one other switch?
Lets see what we can do here. The switch you want to replace, where is it, and what does it control?
Could you pull out the other switch that controls those lights and take a couple pictures of the wiring at each box?
Thanks. Inside the box with the 4 wire switch, do the white and blacks that go to each side of the switch come from a 2 wire cable? or are there red wires in that box not connected to anything?
Well I think the only thing I can tell you is that you cannot install that dimmer at that location. You can replace the other 3-way switch with a dimmer if you want. The way that is wired there has to be another switch somewhere else controlling those lights. There just has to be, the wiring doesn't make sense otherwise.