Education Law Questions? Ask an Education Lawyer
I am very sorry to learn about this situation, and that your daughter is being traumatized by the individual(s) that are supposed to be helping her.
The state of Washington Superintendent of Public Instruction has a website with information giving you a centralized resource for information and laws detailing your daughter's rights and protections as a student in the school system: http://www.k12.wa.us/specialed/
This includes how to file a complaint when the special ed department is failing your student: http://www.k12.wa.us/SpecialEd/Families/Complaints.aspx
Check locally for special needs resources - usually affiliated with county resource centers or resource groups - as these often have assistance for families as they deal with IEP issues and related problems.
Your first obligation as a parent is to protect your child, if her current school is hazardous to her, you do not have to send her while you are resolving this. Understand that a truancy claim may result from this - so make sure that you keep your documentation together and be prepared to defend the matter if necessary. However the fact that you are actively pursuing a dispute and resolution, as well as have documentation of physical as well as mental distress due to the school's actions will be taken into account in the event that the school carries through on its threat (threatening a parent in this manner is just further evidence of ill will and unprofessionalism in dealing with poor performance by a resource specialist).