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CounselorJules, Counselor
Category: Dream Interpretation
Satisfied Customers: 778
Experience:  Licensed Professional Counselor
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I had a dream that I was cheating on my boyfriend. We've

Customer Question

I had a dream that I was cheating on my boyfriend. We've been dating for more than four years and live together. The guy I cheated with in the dream is a guy friend in real life is equally friends with both of us, we became friends within the past few months. This guy embodies a lot of the same qualities as my serious ex boyfriend had, and occasionally does things that remind me of him. In the dream, my boyfriend wasn't around and this guy friend confessed having feeling for me and I reciprocated the feelings. We then tried hiding our feelings while trying to decide how to move forward. But his behavior in the dream was as if you took all the things that drive me crazy about my boyfriend and fixed them; aka, he made a point not to walk in front of me, but next to me. This dream bugged me because in real life I don't have any attractions toward him, so much so that if my boyfriend and I weren't together he would still be only a friend.
Submitted: 10 months ago.
Category: Dream Interpretation
Expert:  CounselorJules replied 9 months ago.

Hi,I'm Jules, a LPC,I am reviewing your question now, and will post back with your thorough reply briefly :)

Expert:  CounselorJules replied 9 months ago.

Good evening! I am sorry that you have had a wait on your answer. I am happy to assist you. I think you already have a great deal of insight and you recognize that there could be some similarities in your waking life that are brought to surface in your dream or subconscious.

I feel that it is important that I share a bit with you about the theory that I most like to refer to, but also the theorist so that you understand the perspective that i work from. I tend to rely on symbolism of the dreams and focus on what your personal emotional response is to the dreams. i rely on a Jungian perspective for the significance. "According to Jung, dreams are a way of communicating and acquainting yourself with the unconscious. Dreams are not attempts to conceal your true feelings from the waking mind, but rather they are a window to your unconscious. They serve to guide the waking self to achieve wholeness and offer a solution to a problem you are facing in your waking life." (resource: "Some researchers believe that dreams help you to tackle stress. Dreaming is a necessity and helps to recharge the mind and revitalize the body. In dreams, negative emotions tend to occur twice as often as pleasant feelings. Fear and anxiety are the most commonly expressed emotions in dreams, followed by anger and sadness." Jung also believed that you can interpret your own dreams by focusing on the emotional response and looking for correlations. It is also believed that you can interpret your own dreams with the correct tools. I do encourage you to look at purchasing a dream dictionary. I have several at home, but there are also great internet resources. One thing to consider about your dreams, is that they often occur more vividly or frequently while you are processing a change or transition. We will look at your symbolism and then determine how it fits best for you. You will know how it is applicable, but i hope that I can provide you with the symbolism and you can look for the themes that fit your personal situation.

So, in your dream you mention that you engage in cheating on your current boyfriend with one of his close friends. You mentioned that in actuality, the friend embodies similar qualities that your serious ex boyfriend had. So, to me that is the most integral part of your dream-- it is quite suggestive of your own feelings about moving forward but also leaving the past relationship in the past. Maybe there are qualities about your ex that you continue to hold dear. I think that this happens fairly often. We may miss characteristics about someone in our past and wish that we could almost blend two people! have the best of both worlds! lol. But the dream may also indicate that you continue to process the effects of the former relationship on your current relationship now. It is easy to fall into comparing and contrasting and maybe there are some things that you are not "over" from the former relationship.... Not that you have baggage, but maybe some insecurities? You may have also experienced a great deal of "passion" with the ex and so you long for some of that excitement again? Maybe it was more about how he made you feel and you acted out these characteristics with the boyfriend's friend because it was a more "safe" option than the manifestation of feelings for your former lover?

I dont think that the dream is actually about cheating or about having desires for someone else. I think that it could be about fears or feelings of insecurity or fear of neglect and mistrust in relation to the past. It may mean that you need to communicate in order for the relationship or partnership to grow....

hope that helps. I would love to hear your feedback :)

Expert:  CounselorJules replied 9 months ago.

I hope that this has been helpful and that you will provide a positive rating (3 stars or better) for the answer or interpretation that you have received. You can do this by clicking on the rating button and providing a score. The communication does not have to cease if you provide a rating, but it is the only way that the experts receive credit. My goal is to provide with you excellent service. I wish you the best and if you need further clarification, please feel free to ask more questions. I can also send more specific resources if necessary for you! Thank you! Jules

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