I'm psychological dream interpreter (MA 1975, Marriage & Family Therapy license from 1976, PhD 1999; 50+ yrs with my own dreams, 40+ in a professional capacity). I don't seek to "get your business" or your allegiance away from Mrs. Sandman, and I don't need your money. But I think you have a right to a psychological interpretation of your dreams, as well as a Christian interpretation. My wife (also psychotherapist, retired) and I are students of Carl Jung, a Swiss German psychoanalyst-revisor of Freud who saw the work of God in dreams and thus reunited psychology and religion--but it was a universal spiritual-religion that could take particular form in the revered symbolic images & characters of any religion or personally unique belief system.
A modern psychologist would normally seek out relationships between your waking life circumstances and your dream-terrors before assuming a predominantly demonic process: Though Jungian psychologists view every psychological problem-set as a spiritual crisis as well. A "generational curse" is the Biblical language for what happens with the majority of human beings--that the psychological knots and conflicts of each generation are passed on to the next in some form. But if we work on our issues by bringing what is unconscious (but manifested symbolically in dreams) into consciousness and also work on our issues consciously and in our outer lives, we can develop more in the direction(s) that God (higher power) intends for us, and our transmission of psychological issues to our children may be less oppressive than what we have had to bear. (In your family your boy might be so sensitive that he's picking up the anxiety in your dreamlife, especially if your husband is NOT sensitive to what you're going through.
My first reaction to your dreams is that the pursuer in your dreams represents some of your past psychological issues that need to be dealt with consciously in your life--ideally by discussing them with a skilled psychotherapist and also watching your dreams to see how they reflect on that therapeutic work you are doing.
Do you have the sense that your pursuer is male? Or just of completely unknown gender? The fact that nobody else can help you suggests (as Mrs. Sandman advises also) that the ways to deal with your inner terror are not to be found in other people--but within yourself, where these terrors are coming from.
But some of your dreams seem to begin in supermarkets, or other people's houses (are they known people, or unknown houses?) If you're a stay-at-home mom, then it is possible that these places represent your most common chances to get out into the world around you--unless you also work at a regular job. If your terrors originate (as your brief description of dreams suggest) when you're in the outside world, that suggests that you may feel powerless outside of your own home.
Now it's possible that ONE SIGNIFICANT TRIGGER for your terror dreams, or at least for their current intensity, is that your husband has lost his job, and you're desperately poor. You mention that two major elements of your bad childhood were having to become responsible for your Down-Syndrome brother, and then your other brother's suicide. Perhaps your husband's current unemployment and therefore highly probable depressive reactionS, as well as your own withdrawal from antidepressive medication, have led you to feel a lot like the combination of being undeservedly responsible for supporting (emotionally & domestically) a man who (can't) work, and even worrying that he might hurt himself (or hurt you) like your other brother once did. Men hate to be unable to perform their duty as a family provider, so that damage to his self-image could lead him into erratic or self-destructive behavior. Your life could feel quite oppressive and undeserved at this time.
Having a potential miracle-worker like John of God working for you could help, and giving you HOPE is an extremely valuable gift. Miracles can happen; and one of the personal changes that can become the sufferer's most valuable contribution to such a miracle is to grow a PURPOSE and PASSION that gives her abundant motivation for living life to the fullest.
SO if the unseen figure pursuing you is probably a male, then what you can do for yourself is to seek out your own meaning and purpose in life, in addition to raising your children, and to focus some energy into finding a role for yourself in the outside world that gives you a sense of having enough Power to take care of yourself. At present that might involve some work that earns money, because of your family's dire financial condition. Your belief in yourself as a healer might lead you into some useful roles with people around you, tho you might have to keep your "spiritual" abilities disguised and work in a medical or caregiving or customer-service capacity. (During my wife's and daughte4r's ongoing chronic illnesses I have discovered women working in hospitals as room-cleaners who were "folk-healers:" One (Bahamian) assured my wife that she would survive when she was expected to die in a day. Another (Colombian) sent the energy of the Virgin of Guadalupe through my hands when I was ministering to my daughter in her sleep after an operation. Apparently hospitals can be spiritual "Cities of Healing" despite the failures and corruptions of Western medicine.)
Going off your A-D medication has provoked a crisis because some psychic forces it was suppressing have returned to plague you--and invite you to be conscious of them. Your depression and anxiety (as manifested in your dreams) are symptoms whose message is that 1. you do not have a way of doing work that is useful to your local society (depression) and 2. you don't feel noticed (the dream people you meet everywhere that don't care) and respected for your value by the people in your everyday life, which is your projection of how you were treated as a child--this "invisibility" gives you anxiety like a pressure cooker, because you don't have an adequate means of expressing your pent-up skill&energies in your world.
This is normal for a woman in midlife who hasn't found her way into a meaningful role in the outside world after early motherhood. (My wife counseled scores of women in that situation, and worked for several years as a Women's reentry Counselor at a Community College, where women emerging from divorce went to start the heroic adventure of supporting themselves. You might be able to find similar services in your own area.)
Withdrawing from outside interaction (normal in depression/anxiety) to seek mainly spiritual transformation is not the complete answer in your situation. But a balanced inner&outer approach is needed: cultivating spiritual ego-strength through preferably both regular inner practices--of which both prayer/reading/study and dreamwork are valuable--and ALSO committing to a teacher/therapist (such as you are hoping to do with Mrs. Sandman and John of God--but a dream-guided psychotherapy would work too) AND taking that strength and conviction to the outside world in a meaningful work/contribution would give you the balance you'll need--in due time. Balancing inner spiritual work and outer social work.
Your dreams can provide increasingly accurate guidance thru symbolism, if you record them in specific and chronological detail. And you can remind yourself in the dream that the spiritual higher power you can summon can give you strength to face any pursuer (Mrs. Sandman's version is calling on Christ), learn his/her/its identity and find out what you need to do to get its energetic force cooperating with you instead of pursuing you --"to be NOTICED."
The most blatant difference between the previous Christian interpretation of your dreams and a Jungian psychological interpretation is that ALL DREAMS ARE GOOD for you, because these want you to NOTICE what energies are trying to join with you to help you progress in your worldly/spiritual development, so you can find and advance on the path that God has intended for you.
You obviously have a worldly problem in not being able to pay for the quality of psychological expertise (with spiritual-right-mindedness) of the kind of mentor/teacher I have in mind. But your desire to provide payment any way you can shows that you understand how the world works.
I realize that if you're much more comfortable within the conventional Christian belief structure, you'll want to pursue Mrs. Sandman's guidance and leave the psychological&spiritual knowledge I've presented alone. But at least I've given sme guidance you could use if you want to pursue a worldly as well as spiritual path out of your dream-crisis.