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Ask Dr. Norman Brown Your Own Question
Dr. Norman Brown
Dr. Norman Brown, PhD
Category: Dream Interpretation
Satisfied Customers: 1205
Experience:  40yrs interpreting dreams & connecting conscious & unconscious minds
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My husband will have been gone year and a half in August.

Customer Question

My husband will have been gone for a year and a half in August. He had ALS, we were as many say soul mates. He was coming to me in my dreams and in many other ways, but it has been almost 3weeks since my last dream. My father passed away 2 weeks ago and I asked my husband to hold me in my dreams like he had done before. He still has not come to me, suggestions why?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Dream Interpretation
Expert:  Dr. Norman Brown replied 2 years ago.
I'm awed by your ability to receive comfort from your husband all these months after his tragic passing. I can only try to imagine how bereft you might feel now.
I have studied my own dreams for over 50 years, and interpreted professionally for over 40 years; so I cannot jump to conclusions. I have seen over 100 death and grief dreams in the last 3+ years on JustAnswer alone; but your specific question is unique. So I need to ask a few questions before venturing an informed opinion.
1. How was your relationship with your father similar to and different from your relationship with your husband?
2. Was your father a great comfort to you when your husband passed away?
3. How was your father's passing and your final months with him similar to and different from your final time with your husband?
4. For what conditions has your husband's dreamscape comfort been a sufficient refuge in the recent past?
5. Is your present grief state somewhat like finding yourself more of an orphan than ever before in your life?
Expert:  Dr. Norman Brown replied 2 years ago.
I hope you're not expecting me to know your life history well enough to answer your very earnest question without answering any of my questions. I can give you an answer, but only from my own experience and intuition; and that could be rather different from YOUR experience with your husband and your father, so it might not serve you as well as I could if you would engage with my questions enough to provide some of the experience from which your dream has probably been composed.
You're shocked that your deceased husband has not come again in a dream to hold you for comforting. And when a dream shows us something CONTRARY to what we expect, the differences between expected and unexpected contents are often the keys to brand new meanings. So tell me this:
Have you had any OTHER DREAMS since your father passed away? For THEY would be in CONTRAST to what you are expecting as a dream. If you don't remember any other dreams or even fragments from this recent period and still don't want to make any comments in the direction of my many questions, I can still suggest possible meanings for you NOT getting the dream you've asked for. But the value of a real expert is in being able to look into aspects that affect your inquiry that you hadn't thought to be relevant and thus to come up with a more far-reaching and valuable response than you could imagine when you asked your question.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I'm sorry I have not responded. At first I was thinking how dumb I was to spend money on this. It really bothers me though, thoughts of my hubby being disappointed in me or being upset with me. It would probably be better to speak then message. There is a bad history with my father, when he passed it was more of a feeling of anger towards him because of how he was and the time he wasted, pain for my 14 year old, and other emotions as well. As far as Jimmy and I he was my rock, my safe zone, my best friend, and everything else I needed. I had all I needed in him...and it's gone. He visited me in a lot of ways. It is hard because him hearing me say that memories sometimes hurt right now makes me feel like he is not coming to me because he doesn't want me to cry anymore. That my friend isn't going to happen yet I'm afraid, my world in some ways has stopped.