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Ask Dr. Norman Brown Your Own Question
Dr. Norman Brown
Dr. Norman Brown, PhD
Category: Dream Interpretation
Satisfied Customers: 1200
Experience:  40yrs interpreting dreams & connecting conscious & unconscious minds
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In my dreams my ex is always my husband and we have been divorced

Customer Question

In my dreams my ex is always my husband and we have been divorced over twenty years
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Dream Interpretation
Expert:  Dr. Norman Brown replied 2 years ago.
In order to best interpret your dreams it would be wise to know two aspects in addition to the one sentence you've written. 1. How does this 20 yr old divorce contrast with what's so today when you're having a dream? (Are you happily or unhappily remarried? Have you stayed single during most or all of these dreams you're referring to?)
2. What event(s) or thought(s) have triggered a few of the recent dreams, at least as your imagination might suggest? And what are some of the variations in the dreams, that might relate to other characters in them and also to the triggering event(s) or thought(s).
For dreams normally utilize symbolism to make psychologically deep and valuable commentary on whatever is currently most important in your life. Your exhusband might symbolize the masculine side of yourself, with the way your dream-ego experiences him reflecting how you are dealing with your own creative and assertive side (symbolized by a masculine character). There's nothing wierd about using your exhusband to symbolize a harmonious collaboration between the male and female sides of yourself, since there must have been some segment of your marriage during which you were getting along quite well. What's important in each dream is WHAT is happening with you two together (are you in sync or at odds with each other, are you content and cooperative or sad or hostile or unable to talk or understand, etc.)
Some dream symbols may have only one meaning, but most can have various meanings. So it is necessary to sort out the relationship between your dream images and the waking life issues that you're most concerned with at the time of the dream. For dreams don't normally come to show you what you already know, but rather to clue you in to something you DON'T know that can help you move beyond your present mindset about something important in your life. So if you want to get into the role your exhusband plays in the teachings that your Dream Director offers you in your dreams, you'll help by responding to the questions I've written above.
Even writing down all of ONE recent dream along with some ideas about what events at the time could have triggered it would go a long way towards making it possible for me to refine the interpretation beyond what is at present very vague. It probably doesn't "mean" that you can't get over wanting your exhusband back in your life--even though it is very likely that everyone's "first great love" forms a neural network in their cerebellum that preserves their perceptions, images, feelings, thoughts and actions about their partnerships, so that they may unconsciously always guage each new partnership in comparison with their first one. Even if your unconscious mind keeps referring back to your first husband, that doesn't force you to try to repeat relationships like that one--because your Conscious Mind has the power of Decision Making and Willfulness. So personality development comes through a cooperative partnership between your Conscious Mind and your Unconscious Mind, without one dominating over the other.

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