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Hi, I'm Dr. Bruce. Welcome to Just Answer. I'm reviewing your question now, and will post back with a reply ASAP.
I'm sorry to hear about Micki's situation. With medicine, sometimes there are differences of opinion. I'm going to say that my opinion is that cancer shouldn't "spread" when a tooth is pulled. If there was cancer there, an infected / altered tooth wasn't holding it back and then it progressing dramatically after it is removed. I would be more suspicious for an infection in that area from the infected tooth / the tissues around there being altered during the dental / tooth removal process. If she's not on antibiotics at this time, that would be absolutely something that I would be highly recommending.