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petdrz, Veterinarian
Category: Dog Veterinary
Satisfied Customers: 7373
Experience:  Over 30 years of experience caring for dogs and cats
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So happy to find you!! I have a vet, a very busy one, and

Customer Question

Hi, so happy to find you!! I have a vet, a very busy one, and he simply can't come to the phone just to answer a question I may have. That's when I'll be so thankful I have you in my life!! So, I'm so ashamed of the problem my yorkie child and I have, that I can't even talk to my vet about it. I don't even know when it started to happen, but I know I've been in total denial about it. Now I don't think there is a way to make it stop. I am way, excessively over attached to my dog, and so is she very dependant on me. I finally, for whatever reason, see how unhealthy I've made our relationship, and I feel sick inside. I can not believe I've put myself, and her as well, full of anxeity and distress. If I'm feeling it, is she? And I see her hurting inside because of me. It's to the point that she tells me what and when she wants or needs anything, instead of me telling her what and when I will do what she's requesting, and feeling confident she won't die if she has to wait for me. I've had many pets in past years, and have never had this issue. So what the hell is wrong with me? I've made her totally disabled. I don't even go anywhere because I can't handle leaving her alone. Many times, I've turned down those who have asked me to go to lunch, or the movie, I even missed 2 family birthday dinners so she would not be left alone. And then when I do leave, she becomes so anxious the minute I start to get dressed. I used to get all the way ready to go before I tell her, "mama has to go bye bye, and u have to stay.But I'll be back, I will b back, be a good girl." But I finallym realized I was making her suffer the entire time I got ready. So now, at least, I have started to, as soon she begins to act anxious, I tell her at that time. And when she knows whats going on, and that I'm going to leave, she does handle it pretty well. She sort of puts her head down for quick second, then slowly walks away, cuddles up in bed and sleeps, or goes outsde and plays, instead of being on top of my feet. And none of my grown children, husband, mom, are animal people. So understanding loving an animal almost makes them want to puke. So talking to them, or having understanding how much I'm hurting (and her) My husband gets very mad at me at time, and tells me I'm more concerned about her then him, or anyone else. Perhaps that is why I'm no longer denying there is a very big problem, that needs to be dealt with. Dr., can you help me have any hope at all that this can be turned around? I'm pretty certain it will be a very difficult transition, which scares me so much. Don't know if I'll be able to go thru it. And I have no clue what it even involves!! I realize I've gone on and on and on, and I'm so sorry. I have never discussed this with anyone, and it all just came OUT. I thank you for your service, and want you to know I would never abuse this opportunity to have almost instance advice. This is just a unusual issue that I've needed to talk about for a very long time. Again, thank you.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Dog Veterinary
Expert:  petdrz replied 2 years ago.
Hello and thanks for trusting me to help you and your pet today. I am a veterinarian with over 25 years experience and would be happy work with you. What it sounds like you are dealing with a case of separation anxiety, but I think it is affecting both of you. It almost sounds as if she has learned to accept your leaving better than you have and that your are reflecting your guilt about leaving needlessly back on her, adding to her anxiety. You want to play down your comings and goings for both of your sakes and accept that it is a normal part of your day, but provide time in your day to let her know how important that she is to you and give her the chance to interact with you then. I am going to pass along a few links that have excellent advise and give detailed steps on how to start dealing with this. From what you have described, I think she will adapt very well once you are comfortable with the plan. LINK 1LINK 2Link 3I hope this is helpful. Please let me know if you have ANY other questions after you review the links. My goal is to give you 100% satisfaction and if you are not yet satisfied, please reply so I can clarify for you. Dr Z