My name is***** Bornfield seems to be away so I am answering. If you still would prefer him please request to do so.
I have treated many with this unfortunate syndrome and I really understand the discomfort you experience when seeking or going through even routine dental care. Whether it was due to a childhood trauma at the dentists, bad teeth in general or anxieties that are more generalized, there are things that you can do to work through having some work done.
Things that have success are hypnosis, counseling, tap therapy (that is when a counselor talks you through a difficult scenario while you are hooked up to biofeedback monitoring like heart rate and BP measuring devices, and litterally just taps your knee or arm when the monitors show rising biofeedback due to mental guage of conversation), and lastly, medication before the appointment like Xanax or Valium to just take the edge off the anxiety.
Have you tried any of the above?
Aside from the medication choice, the others take a little more time and of course cost more.
Whichever you choose, you and I both know that your mouth is worth the effort. Loosing teeth at your age will not only affect your presentation but your general health . It also gets more and more expensive to rectify neglect.
Call your local dental society and ask if they can refer to someone who treats phobic patients. There are some who even advertise for this. They usually have calm offices, relaxing decor and staff who are keen to make you feel less intimidated. And if the dentist is used to treating phobic patients he may have a good chance at success with you and in any case have a lot more patience than someone who can't take the time.
Let me know if I can help further. Hope this helps.