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Samuel II
Samuel II, Attorney at Law
Category: Criminal Law
Satisfied Customers: 27011
Experience:  Handle criminal matters in both state and federal courts.
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My soon to be husband and I began to see each other while he

Customer Question

My soon to be husband and I began to see each other while he and his now ex wife were separated. I was under the impression they were divorced. She asked him to hold off on the divorce so she could use his insurance to get surgery for her endometriosis. At that point I decided I didn't want to wait and walked away and married some one else. That was in 2010. During that time my fiancé and his ex had decided to stay together when they discovered that they were at the top of the list to adopt twin girls. They adopted the girls in January 2013. By June 2013 his ex wife was having an affair. So they got a divorce. We got back together after a mutual friend reintroduced us at a party. He and his ex had an agreement on custody. He later discovered that she had only remained in the marriage with him so that she and her new husband could be parents to the girls. Unbeknownst to my fiancé her plan was to adopt the girls them have him give up legal rights to them when the adoption was finalized a year later. However when he chose not to do that and opted to be a real father to them instead she became furious. She stopped allowing him to see them. She accused us of adultery and told all his family and friends I was the reason they broke up. The confusing part is that I was living out of the with my then husband so there was no way that Keith my current fiancé and I could have been carrying on an affair. So because she stopped allowing him to see the girls he decided to take her to court for joint custody. When he did that she filed for child support. She also began accusing myself and a teenage boy that they are legal guardians of but who lives with us of abuse. She has stated that she doesn't want the girls to be with him for more than two days a month because she doesn't feel they are safe with us. Her constant accusations have put us under a great deal of stress. We've purchased cameras for every room of our house just so we can prove her wrong. But every month she has a new accusation. Also she's the legal guardian of the teenage boy who lives with us, and she gets child support from his biological mother for him but she gives us nothing. We are struggling to take care of him. She also doesn't send clothes or give us anything for the girls when they are with us. So we have an entire wardrobe for them. We actually used to have them more days out of the month than her. We also work with her schedule and we watch the girls randomly when she goes out of town. In fact our entire lives revolve around this woman. Now we are only allied to see them when she's working late or has to go out of town. She treats my fiancé like a baby sitter not a father. The other important detail here is my fiancé paid all adoption fees and all fees associated with adopting the girls. He also pays for their school tuition and covers all their medical expenses. All he wants is equal time with them. She said that the date of Virginiafavors the mother so he is under a constant state of fear that he won't be allowed to see them. I'm under a constant state of fear of her false accusations. I hold a government clearance that could be lost due to these accusations. The teen boy who lives with us could be put in juvenile detention over these accusations. I'm at my wits end over what to do. Any advice would be welcomed.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Criminal Law
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I would like to note I was divorced when my fiancé and I got back together and my ex husband and I are still friends and has agreed to be a character Witt ends at the upcoming custody hearing.
Expert:  Samuel II replied 2 years ago.
This is Samuel and I will discuss this and provide you information in this regard
Please note that I can only provide you information on what you ask.
So I will need more specific questions other than any "advice" would be welcomed. We cannot provide "advice" but only information.
So please tell me what is it you want to do?
What is the question and what information can I provide for you in that regard?
If you received an invite to participate in a phone call, that is automatically generated by this site. I do not participate in phone calls offered by this site, but we can continue here.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I would like to know what to do about the false accusations of child abuse. My fiancés ex wife stated that one if his daughters said I "popped" her. She us only two years old and I've never heard her say such a thing. She stated that the little girl also accused their teenage son of " popping" her on the buttocks. Also I would like to know what we should be doing in regards ***** ***** joint custody of the girls. His ex wife now only allows him to see the girls when she is working late or has to go out of town. Does he even have a case or should we just accept the situation for what it is? He is seeking joint physical custody. She stated that half time is too much time for them to spend with him. I think she has made the false accusations as a way to prevent him from getting joint custody. We live only five miles from her. So there is no reason he shouldn't be granted joint custody. Lastly he paid all adoption fees. But she left with the children without his consent. Why is it that she seems to have more legal rights than him?
Expert:  Samuel II replied 2 years ago.


Thank you

Were the accusations made to the police? Are you being investigated?

Is there a custody proceeding pending?

And if yes, what is the status of those child custody proceedings?

I cannot answer why it appears she has more rights than the Father. I am not privy to all of the proceedings. But courts prefer Joint Legal and Physical custody in most cases, unless it can be proved with solid evidence, such as police reports, arrests, etc that one of the parents is abusive. A mere claim of abusive is an old trick and one that usually does not work.

But I need to know the answers to my other questions so I can be accurate in my information to you. Thank you

Expert:  Samuel II replied 2 years ago.

In custody hearings, the court is required to look at what is in the best interest of the children. And by VA statute it states the following

§ 20-124.3. Best interests of the child; visitation.

In determining best interests of a child for purposes of determining custody or visitation arrangements including any pendente lite orders pursuant to § 20-103, the court shall consider the following:

1. The age and physical and mental condition of the child, giving due consideration to the child's changing developmental needs;

2. The age and physical and mental condition of each parent;

3. The relationship existing between each parent and each child, giving due consideration to the positive involvement with the child's life, the ability to accurately assess and meet the emotional, intellectual and physical needs of the child;

4. The needs of the child, giving due consideration to other important relationships of the child, including but not limited to siblings, peers and extended family members;

5. The role that each parent has played and will play in the future, in the upbringing and care of the child;

6. The propensity of each parent to actively support the child's contact and relationship with the other parent, including whether a parent has unreasonably denied the other parent access to or visitation with the child;

7. The relative willingness and demonstrated ability of each parent to maintain a close and continuing relationship with the child, and the ability of each parent to cooperate in and resolve disputes regarding matters affecting the child;

8. The reasonable preference of the child, if the court deems the child to be of reasonable intelligence, understanding, age and experience to express such a preference;

9. Any history of family abuse as that term is defined in § 16.1-228 or sexual abuse. If the court finds such a history, the court may disregard the factors in subdivision 6; and

10. Such other factors as the court deems necessary and proper to the determination.

The judge shall communicate to the parties the basis of the decision either orally or in writing. Except in cases of consent orders for custody and visitation, this communication shall set forth the judge's findings regarding the relevant factors set forth in this section.

Expert:  Samuel II replied 2 years ago.

And so I suggest that the Father might consider having friends, family, school teachers, coaches - anyone who comes into contact with him and the children to write a Statement known as an Affidavit, to be signed in front of a Notary and those can be used as evidence in his behalf. They can write about how good he is with the children, how he has helped to care for them and how it would be detrimental to the children not to have equal time with the Father

Expert:  Samuel II replied 2 years ago.

The fact that she is trying to say you are abusive will probably back fire on her. And I suggest you can write her a letter and tell her that she needs to Immediately cease and desist the spreading of the lies, which she knows are lies or she is subjecting herself to a possible defamation lawsuit. That she cannot just tell lies about a person. And that if these statements somehow affect your employment and clearance, you will be suing her.

That letter should be mailed certified with a return receipt requested so you can show a court you put her on Notice to stop the lies.

Expert:  Samuel II replied 2 years ago.

Custody issues are never easy and they are always hardest on the children. So I suggest that anything the Father does in regard to the custody he will always want to show that he is acting in the best interest of the children. And that joint custody is in that best interests since they live close enough to each other and they have a close bond and relationship that needs to be maintained for the best interest and welfare of the children.

Expert:  Samuel II replied 2 years ago.

Custody is never about the parents and many get caught up in trying to play the kids as pawns to hurt the other parent. Courts see right through this and unless she has absolute solid evidence that the Father is unfit, then I suggest a court would go with a Joint Custody arrangement.

Expert:  Samuel II replied 2 years ago.

Again, If you received an invite to participate in a phone call, that is automatically generated by this site. I do not participate in phone calls offered by this site, but we can continue here.

Expert:  Samuel II replied 2 years ago.

Please note that I can only provide information for what you ask. In that regard, if you have other questions or need clarification, please post them here. Otherwise, I appreciate your Positive Rating as that is how I get credit for my time and information.

Expert:  Samuel II replied 2 years ago.

Also please note in reference to your statement that you feel the Mother is getting preferred treatment, the VA law is specific in this regard 20-124.2

B. In determining custody, the court shall give primary consideration to thebest interests of the child. The court shall assure minor children frequent and continuing contact with both parents, when appropriate, and encourage parents to share in the responsibilities of rearing their children.As between the parents, there shall be no presumption or inference of law in favor of either. The court shall give due regard to the primacy of the parent-child relationship but may upon a showing by clear and convincing evidence that the best interest of the child would be served thereby award custody or visitation to any other person with a legitimate interest. The court may award joint custody or sole custody.

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I've enclosed the answers to your questions.Were the accusations made to the police? Are you being investigated?No she has made them to us in writing. She has also made them verbally in the phone. Also her husband has made verbal accusations. He is a social worker at CPS and has alluded to the fact that he will bring charges against my fiancé if we too her to court. He has stated that he thinks it's unhealthy for the girls to have to deal with two sets of parents since they are adopted. However he apparently did not consider this fact when he was having an affair with her.
I've already notified her once that I would sue her if the defamation continues.Is there a custody proceeding pending?Yes my fiancé has decided to pursu joint custody. All of the accusations began after he filed for joint custody. She also stated he is only asking for custody to get out of financial obligations. This is not true as we support them 100% financially and we have proof of this.And if yes, what is the status of those child custody proceedings?The status of the proceedings is he had an initial hearing a month ago. He did not have a lawyer. They were instructed to go to mediation to try to work it out. In the day they were told to go to mediation she stated she did not want mediation and opted to hire a lawyer instead. They went to court again two weeks ago and in court she stated that she did not feel it was healthy for the girls for him to have them so many days at a time. She said five days every other week was too long because the girls always expressed how much they miss her when they return. She also stated that they call her husband " daddy" and when they return to her they are confused on who is their father.Our argument is that she started the nasty habit of making them call her husband " daddy" when in fact the already have a father. If they are confused it is her fault.She also accused our teenager of abusing the children. She only accused him after she got the notice that my fiancé was asking for joint custody. Sam, the teen I speak of was originally a foster child she took in when my fiancé was deployed three years ago. When she discovered that she would not receive state funds for him she left him with us and has had only minimal contact with him. She receives child support for him from his biological mother, but does not give us any. His biological mother had to give up custody because she was a recovering drug addict. We care for him solely and receive no support from the biological mother nor my fiancés ex wife.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
After the previous court hearing two weeks ago my fiancé was instructed by the judge to get a lawyer since the ex wife has one. They go back to court on November 25
Expert:  Samuel II replied 2 years ago.

Thank you

If the comments are not being made publicly, then there is no defamation. But you still should consider writing her the letter as I suggested earlier

Expert:  Samuel II replied 2 years ago.

I suggest since the husband works for CPS and is making these "threats" that you can report him to his superior. He should not be making those idle threats to intimidate because of a custody matter.

Expert:  Samuel II replied 2 years ago.

You should write her the letter - to make it clear, show that you notified her to stop and that she could the notification. That will come in handy if you should need it at a later date.

Expert:  Samuel II replied 2 years ago.

Mediation is always preferred by the courts. But if it does not work for them, it is not binding. The Father should not sign anything he is not in agreement with, take it to court and let the court decide.

Expert:  Samuel II replied 2 years ago.

Certainly it is to the benefit of the Father/ your husband to at least consult with a local attorney. As I said, these matters can get very complicated. And so the court has now suggested it and he should at least consult with one.

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thank you. I appreciate your information
Expert:  Samuel II replied 2 years ago.

You're welcome. Thanking you in advance for a positive rating. And good luck with everything