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Law Educator, Esq.
Law Educator, Esq., Lawyer
Category: Criminal Law
Satisfied Customers: 118127
Experience:  Attorney with over 20 years law enforcement, prosecution, civil rights and defense experience
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I live in Oklahoma with my three children aged 8 (girl), 6

Customer Question

I live in Oklahoma with my three children aged 8 (girl), 6 (boy) and 1 (girl). Two weeks ago in the process of attempting to discipline my son for lying things got out of hand, I lost it and hit him in the left side of his face. Although I used to spank them I no longer do that any more and the last time I spanked them was about 1.5 or 2 yrs ago. When he went to school with facial minor bruises obviously he told official someone that I hit him. DHS took all three children away from us and placed them with my parents in law. I told them I did it, not intentionally but frustration. We've been married for 9 yrs and we have been fighting a lot (rarely physical) when we just got married but as time went on now we rarely fight. We'very always put our children out of sight and or attempt putting them out of ear when fighting. My wife and I don't smoke, drink, do drugs, no criminal history and or abuse our children. When we were young with our first daughter only my wife placed her in a day care that was not licensed. Young and naive as we were learned the hard way when the nanny attempted to remove an object my our daughter'so mouth ending up leaving mouth or throat scratches. Although she never mentioned it to us we decided to take the child to the emergency room for evaluation. Of course DHS threatened us to take away our daughter for child endangering our child - but we argued our case and they didn't. That was 7 yrs ago. Now all this information, my son's testimony and oh to add my children told the investing DHS workers that we also fight. They don't know the consequences of their testimony and now the police is involved with looking into possible criminal charges. After having child support meeting with DHS they told us that children will be interviewed "forensic interview" where they will be recorded and their information could be used in court (play a video) if what they say determine potential crime case. These past two weeks has been buy hell on earth for my family especially me who committed this act. I just feel like I made a mistake and everything is coming down crushing right in my very eyes. I am nervous, anxious, worry, overwhelmed, scared and don't know what to do. They have asked to take domestic violence test as well. I am a case manager and my wife is a school teacher. I am studying masters degree in counseling. If I get convicted of any crime here and ending up with misdemeanor or felony I feel like my life will be over. It means that I can't continue school and yet will be stuck with the $15,000 loan to pay back because not only government loans never given to people with felony but even if I continue with such diploma I won't get hired. We have been struggling financially which is the reason why we couldn't get help with counseling when we fought a lot. Thank God we've improved dramatically. I am confused and can't concentrate to my weekly studies and my wife may be considering divorce me if I get convicted who was at the grocery store when all this incident happened. Yes I struggle with suicide thoughts at this point there is no way I would do that. We tried to tell our children that they are going to stay with grand pa and grandma for a while but now they are insisting that they want to go home. We have been told not to mention anything to the kids regarding the interviewstatus and or the incident which we have complied. I don't know my options if they charge me, please help. x
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Criminal Law
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Do I need to get a lawyer, when and what kind of lawyer. How do I prepare for the domestic violence test and what to or not say. Is there any possibility of settling this out of course system. If so, I would do anything to go that route so I won't have any record on my background. Whatever I can do to settle this without going to jail or criminal background. Please help!
Expert:  Law Educator, Esq. replied 2 years ago.
Thank you for your question. I look forward to working with you to provide you the information you are seeking for educational purposes only.
First off, DHS social workers are the most negligent, incompetent and abusive agents you will ever deal with. They exaggerate evidence, fabricate evidence, lie and do whatever they want to do to achieve the outcome they want to see, regardless of the facts.
Also, because they are telling you up front about doing a forensic interview, which to them means manipulating your children to say what they want them to say, you need to hire a local criminal defense attorney immediately and you need to get the attorney to represent your children as well or to intervene to stop these social workers from directing these interviews.
The sooner you get an attorney involved the better and typically a family law attorney handles these cases, but because they are talking criminal charges so early on, you need a criminal defense attorney.
You are going to end up battling with DHS and DO NOT TRUST ANY OF THEM, none of the social workers there are your friend, they are out to achieve their own agenda and will do anything they have to do in order to do so.
So tell them nothing, get an attorney and make sure the attorney is present for every interview. People verbally argue, that is NOT domestic violence except to the warped social workers of DHS (the same people who are afraid if someone looks at them from across the street). So you need to discuss everything with your attorney as to what has happened between you and your spouse and if it is all verbal disputes that is not violence, despite what the social workers may want to claim and this is why you want an attorney there because they will manipulate what you say and next time you hear it in front of the judge they will have you and your spouse clubbing each other with baseball bats.