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Ely, Counselor at Law
Category: Criminal Law
Satisfied Customers: 102381
Experience:  Private practice with focus on family, criminal, PI, consumer protection, and business consultation.
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my ex husband is threatening to take me to court, over a discrepancy

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my ex husband is threatening to take me to court, over a discrepancy regarding my 17 y/o daughter. she is learning disabled & has chronic medical problems. I feel that he has been making poor parenting choices for her, as of recently. He would like to take her out of state for a weekend. I do not like the idea of where he is taking theme park, on rides that would /could be dangerous at this time for her. also, when it is his turn to drive her any place, he has been putting her in a car with a heroin addict driving. this person works for him was arrested recently. my son & I asked him NOT to let this person drive her because we were aware of rumors at the time. we have shared custody & I have never forbidden them from going places together. With my daughter's last hospitalization, last month, her father refused to go to hospital because he was too busy & didn't think that it was necessary. She was admitted to the pediatric unit. now he is suggesting to her that she could live with him. she is so confused. I know that he loves her & she loves him, but I feel that he is making poor choices & I so I exhibit a bit more control, since I am the primary care giver & trying to do what is in her best interest!
Hello friend. My name is XXXXX XXXXX welcome to JustAnswer. Please note: (1) this is general information only, not legal advice, and, (2) there may be a slight delay between your follow ups and my replies.

I am very sorry for your situation. Can you please tell me:

1) Who is the managing (primary) custodian?
2) Is he filing to become the primary/managing custodian? Or has he already?
3) What exactly are you asking here?

This is not an answer, but an Information Request. I need this information to answer your question. Please reply, so I can answer your question. Thank you in advance.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I am the primary custodian. I do not know if he has contacted a lawyer yet, but I am struggling with bilsl & cannot really afford an attorney. I am asking what rights I have as her primary custodian to make decisions based on her well being & safety/

Thank you, L.

The answer lies in your decree, so do check it. If you do not have a copy, please tell me what county the matter was heard in and I can help you find the contact information to obtain it.

Normally, the decree will have either one of the following:

A) The primary custodian will have the right to make medical/educational decisions for the child and the visiting custodian can be informed about them; or
2) The medical/education decisions have to be unanimous and both parties have to agree to it.

Now, there may be nuances of course, and it can be one way for medical and another for education, or vice versa, etc. But point is that the answer lies within the decree.

It is most common that the primary custodian gets to make the decisions themselves, without the other's vote.

Until/unless the Court states otherwise, the decree is to be followed. So if the decree allows you the decision-making authority, you may wish to exercise it. If needed, you can carry a copy of the decree with you and present it to show the authority to overrule his decisions and make yours.

I hope this helps and clarifies. Good luck.

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