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Ely, Counselor at Law
Category: Criminal Law
Satisfied Customers: 3169
Experience:  Private practice with focus on family, criminal, PI, consumer protection, and business consultation.
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Please keep this confidential, or delete it if this cannot

Customer Question

Please keep this confidential, or delete it if this cannot be done.

Dear Sir/ Mdm

I am a female Singaporean.

I was continued to be molested by my ex-boyfriend a few times even after I confided in my church leaders, however he denied doing so. He touched my chest area a few times, a few times in the swimming pool - slipped his hands inside my bikini, once on the train, a few times while walking me back to my home. He touched my butt too.

He has molested me many times and even pressured me to perform oral sex on him a few times before I confided in my church leaders. I have refused to do so because I do not like the 'used feeling, and for him to touch me in private areas. I have informed my church leaders before that, one of them shamed me, the other told him not to do it. However, he has continued doing so.

Please advise whether I can bring charges against him for molestation. This happened in 2004 - 2006. I am still suffering from trauma, fear of seeing him (same church and my leader kept on asking me to go back to church and to stop being afraid of seeing him, and to forgive him and let God handle it). I have also developed a fear of seeing men due to shame and irrational fear, and fear of a simple hug from men for fear of being molested.

I feel ashamed and have not told anybody else besides my church leaders. I have wanted to bring up charges against my ex-boyfriend for the past few years since 2008, but was stopped (emotional blackmail/ shamed) by my church leaders for doing so. They said to forgive and forget, to move on, and questioned me for wanting to do so.

For your info, my ex-boyfriend used emotional abuse on me in 2004, and I stopped talking to all my close friends/ family members, and only had him as a friend. Thus, I felt pressured when he asked me to perform oral sex on him, as I was afraid of losing him, my confidant.

Please advise me on what I can do.

Thank you.

Ms. C
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Criminal Law
Expert:  Zoey_ JD replied 5 years ago.

Hello Jacustomer,

This is a public website, so posts are searchable, but you have given no information -- that is, no full names or other personal identifying information that would cause this to be associated with you. What we can do, if you wish, is at the end when you have gotten what you believe is a complete answer and rated your expert, you could ask customer service to lock the thread for privacy which would keep it confidential from there and nobdy would be able to find it.

There is one other problem, and that is that there are no Singapore law experts on this website. If you want an answer under general common law principles, I can likely provide it. If you want something that conforms 100% to the law of Singapore, this is the wrong place to try to find an answer.

Please let me know if you want me to answer or you by using the reply tab below and letting me know.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Dear FranL


I am grateful for your quick response. I am concerned that my church leaders would be able to view this and I would be questioned/ shamed.


I would like to check with you whether the public would be able to view this thread when we are corresponding?


I do not mind a general response. Would like to check with you whether you could refer me to a lawyer with expertise in Singapore law/ any websites/ agency?


Thank you.


Best Regards


Ms. C

Expert:  Zoey_ JD replied 5 years ago.

The thread has to be kept open and viewable so that I can see what you have to say, and you can see my answers. After that, when we're all through, we can get it locked for privacy and then, even you and I wouldn't be able to see it again.

While it's viewable, someone could possibly find it and read it. But they would have to look on Google and searxh for it. And because nobody knows you are asking this question herw and because your name and his and the names of any other people involved in this matter will not be used, realistically, the people you are worried most about will not find it, and anyone who may stumble on it, won't have the faintest idea of who you are.

I'm going to go walk my dog and will be back in 5 minutes. If you want me to go on now that you understand how the site works, I will be happy to answer the question and also to to point you to a service that can find you a reputable lawyer.

I'll wait for you to reply before discussing the matter you're concerned about any further.