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Hi, My question is in regards XXXXX XXXXX DVCPO, placed against…

Hi, My question is...
Hi,

My question is in regards XXXXX XXXXX DVCPO, placed against me by an ex-boyfriend. He was able to have this order put on me because of lies he put on the DVCPO. It was done in retaliation towards me due to reporting him to children services and his place of employment. He has anger issues and mentally abuses others, including me, his children, his ex wife and tenants where he is employed at.

I did file a Civil Protection Order against him(not domestic violence cpo) because we never lived together. But feared for my life.

Because I know of his sexual addiction, pathological lying, and his belief that he can never have enough guns or ammo to kill others if the government changed the constitution or went down. It is another obsession of his which scares me.

We had both courts on the same day with different judges due to one being my cpo and the other being his Domestic Violence CPO. He showed up with a lawyer, I did not.

Legal aid told me to tell the judges attorney that I wanted to consent to his DVCPO because I do want him to stay away from me forever, and I would not have a record of Domestic Violence and this way it would be over quickly and he would be out of my life. Yet when I went to court on that day, I was told not to consent because I would have a record so I asked for a continuance on both cases to give me time to get a lawyer.

During the CPO hearing against him he and his attorney asked for the judge to dismiss the case against him. The judge denied their request. Told us to go out and talk about going thru mediation since she has seen these cases solve themselves. He and his lawyer came back with the answer of no. His lawyer told me when I get a lawyer, to have my lawyer contact him and they could discuss an agreement. I do not have an lawyer and have to be back in court on March 28th before my judge and April 2nd to go before his judge for DVCPO.

I have received a letter from his lawyer asking me to dismiss my case against Stephen and refile in DVCPO court. I also have been told by another legal aid lawyer that if I do that there is a chance DVCPO will not allow me to file since he already did. then I would not have any protection from him.

Can you help explain why his lawyer wants me to dismiss my case against Stephen? It does not look like I will be able to have a lawyer, so should I contact his lawyer.
Do I have any rights in this case. It seems since he filed first, I have a lost case without any help or advocacy. I dont want to dismiss my case because the lose of protection for me.

I appreciate any advice and help you can give me. Sorry this si so long.

Thank you
Debi Brodie
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Answered in 8 hours by:
3/10/2012
Fran-mod
Category: Criminal Law
Satisfied Customers: 48
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Customer reply replied 6 years ago

Hi Fran,

 

Yes I am still waiting for a reply.

 

Thank you

Sometimes, finding the right Expert can take a little longer than expected and we thank you greatly for your understanding. We’ll be in touch again shortly.
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Customer reply replied 6 years ago
ok Thank you, Fran
Joseph
Joseph, Criminal Defense Lawyer
Category: Criminal Law
Satisfied Customers: 7,280
Experience: I have 15 years experience in criminal litigation including several years as a felony prosecutor
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While it would be impossible to state with certainty why his attorney wants you to dismiss the protection order (PO), I can state with a high level of confidence that this request is based on a desire to prevent the PO from being in place.

 

A PO is a public record. If the PO is put in place, anyone could find out about its existence. Then, if he were to put in a job application or look to move into an apartment complex, any check of his background would show the PO. In turn, he might be rejected for the job or denied the ability to rent the apartment.

 

Similarly, his current employer might have difficulty with the PO. While I have no idea what he does for a living, many employers will refuse to employ anyone with a PO as it can create difficulties on the job.

 

Additionally, a PO puts a person one step away from an arrest. As you may know, violating a PO is a criminal offense. As such, if the PO is put in place, you could allege that he violated the order by calling you, driving by your home, driving by your place of employment or whatever else and he would be arrested and criminally prosecuted.

 

For all these reasons, it is prudent to try to avoid having the PO put in place.

 

Please let me know if anything requires clarification.

 

 

Also, several customers have asked how they may direct a question to me in particular. If you specifically want me to assist you in your legal matter, just put "FOR JOSEPH" in the subject line and I will gladly pick up the question as soon as I am on-line.

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Customer reply replied 6 years ago

 

Hi Joseph,

 

Thank you for you answer! It has been the best and put in a way I can understand. I hope you can still be my expert on the following questions.

 

You are answering my questions regarding PO's. Is it the same no matter if it is Domestic Violence or Civil Protection Order?

 

Do you think I need a lawyer since he is accusing me of Domestic Violence. His complaint says:

1. I caused damage to his personal vehicle Report filed 2/02/12 Police report #12-0120.

 

question: I am not sure what damage he is possibly talking about. Is there anyway I can get this information before I go to court on April 2nd?

 

2 .I refused to comply with request to leave him alone. Police responded to me banging on his resident at 10:55pm on Sun. Jan 1/31/2012.

 

question: I was not at his house on 1/31/2012. It was a tuesday and I was on a dat

e. I did knock on his door on 1/22/12 because we were going to go out. And because I found a friend hanging in his home when he didn't answer the door and Stephen being suicidal in the past. I did start panicking and banging on his door because his car was there and his lights were on. He did finally answer and pushed me in the hall way, which was when I realized his behavior was getting worse. He had never done that before. I was always welcome there and we had plans; But

out of nowhere he became a Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde.

 

3.I left voice message on his cell phone claiming I would "slap me in the face and knock me off my feet and on my ass" Resulting in him being afraid of physical violence from me.

 

That is false. I do not talk that way and I always felt sorry for him and was empathetic with his moods due to his mental state. I am not violent and never would threaten anyone in this matter or even raise a hand to anyone.

 

4. I went to his place of employment and reported that he abused me. He is notallowed to return to work pending an investigation by human resources.

 

Question: This is why he retaliated against me. He told me if I went to his employer that morning that I would regret it. I never told his work that he abused me. I told them he was not doing his job like he was telling them. The company he works for is Community Housing Network. It is a coummunity sponsored homes for those with mental illness or drug problems. So do I to have his bosses that I spoke to about stephens work behavior, subpeoned?

 

5. I have visited multiple friends of his and claimed that he as molested his own daughter.

 

Question. I never claimed he molested his daughter. The friend of his I spoke to, which is my friend too, Tina, I only asked what she thought I should do regarding what I saw. Which was Stephen spooning with his 13 yr old daughter in my bed. When I woke up and saw that I gasped and Srephen ask "what?" I told him he should not be sleeping in that position with his daughter and his reply was "your just jealous because I am not spooning with you" I did report this to childrfen services and he knew I was going to. Another reason he retailiated with this CPO.

 

6. I had visited his girlfriend on 2/1/12 at her place of employment and was asked to leave by management.

 

question: I did visit this chrissy at the bar she worked at and we hung out at. Stephen told me she wanted to apologize to me for using my name in a lie she had supposibly told stephen. But when I met her, first she had no idea who I was and secondly she was so mad that Stephen was claiming they were dating when she can not stand him and called him a psycho. And of course I was never asked to leave that bar. So see Stephen again, made up a big lie, involving two innocent parties. Should I subpeona her, too? How do I go about it without a lawyer.

 

Of course all the above is in his DVCPO against me and will be heard by Judge Brown on April 2nd.

Again I am so sorry this is so long but I really need your help in this matter because it is lies and I do not want a record. But I don't have much evidence but my honesty and the witnesses to back up what I say.

Thank you again,

Debi

You are answering my questions regarding PO's. Is it the same no matter if it is Domestic Violence or Civil Protection Order?

 

- Yes, it would be the same, nothing from my original answer would change.

 

 

question: I am not sure what damage he is possibly talking about. Is there anyway I can get this information before I go to court on April 2nd?

 

- Yes, go to the police department and request a copy of the listed report. As this is a matter of public record, and it involves you, they should give you no problem in turning it over.

 

 

So do I to have his bosses that I spoke to about stephens work behavior, subpeoned?

 

- If you want them to come to court, you might check to see if they would come willingly, without the need for a subpoena. Otherwise, yes, you would need to have them put under subpoena. Having said that, I don't know that their testimony would be terribly helpful. If they simply testify that you did not say what the former boyfriend says that you said, I don't see that this helps you that much.

 

 

Should I subpeona her, too? How do I go about it without a lawyer.

 

- If she can definitively dispute an allegation in his petition, then yes, that would be helpful. Contact the clerk that handles the POs and ask about subpoenas. Most clerks will have a specific procedure in place, just follow that procedure.

 

 

 

Also, several customers have asked how they may direct a question to me in particular. If you specifically want me to assist you in your legal matter, just put "FOR JOSEPH" in the subject line and I will gladly pick up the question as soon as I am on-line.

Joseph
Joseph, Criminal Defense Lawyer
Category: Criminal Law
Satisfied Customers: 7,280
Experience: I have 15 years experience in criminal litigation including several years as a felony prosecutor
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Customer reply replied 6 years ago

HI Joseph,

 

Thank you again for your answer. I need to put money on my account, which I will do and promise you a nice bonus.

 

I do have questions to your answers.

 

 

What is my part in defending myself to stop him from having this on my record. And how would it be on my record? Only if the judge agrees on his side?

 

Why wouldn't it be helpful to me to proof his allegations are false? He stated I said he abused me to his employer and that is why he is underinvestigation not because the truth that he was not doing his job by not working when he told them he was. They are investigating him to see if he was or was not doing his job. Not if he abused me or not.

 

My judge already reasons not to dismiss my case against him due to his lie that we actually lived together when we did not.

 

How much am I allowed to tell the judge when she asks me about his allegations against me. I only tell the truth and if I tell her why I was at his home ( 'to help him remove his previous girlfriends' possesions after she died from an accidental overdose due to him giving her benadryl on top of her pain medicine) and how he took my car when it wasn't working right, to a shop of one of his friends, that ke[pt it for three months, without fixing it at all to keep me there. He would let me use one of his vehicles to do grocery shopping when he felt like it, but I was never allowed to take it to my home. Only because he was the maintenance man for Community Housing Network and was not allowed to have any type of relationship with any tenant or would be immediatly fired. And I was a tenant at that time, that is how we met.

 

Am I allowed to fight these false accusations? I am only fighting because I do not want a record. I hope I never see him again in my life! I tried to help him and look where it got me. So I want a protection order against him so I am safe from him but not on my record due to his claims.

 

Would I be wise to see if I can get a DVCPO against him and drop my CPO like has been suggested by his lawye r and a Dometic Violence lawyer. (she wouldn't take my case due to her knowing both our cases)?

 

 

 

What is my part in defending myself to stop him from having this on my record. And how would it be on my record? Only if the judge agrees on his side?

 

- If you can get the PO dismissed, then it will not be on your record. Meaning, if someone were to do a background check, it would show that the PO was dismissed, suggesting that it was unfounded. In such a situation, it would be unlikely that the PO would be used against you such as in the hypotheticals I provided previously.

 

 

Why wouldn't it be helpful to me to proof his allegations are false? He stated I said he abused me to his employer and that is why he is underinvestigation not because the truth that he was not doing his job by not working when he told them he was. They are investigating him to see if he was or was not doing his job. Not if he abused me or not.

 

- Please keep in mind that the hearings on PO's are not intended to last all day, they are intended to be quick and focused. Additionally, just because something was written into the petition does not mean it will be discussed in court. For example, if he wrote that you had blue eyes, this has no relevance and would not be discussed at the hearing. What is of the utmost relevance is any allegations of violence. As such, his focus should be on proving you were violent or threatened violence. And, of course, your focus should be on disproving those specific allegations. Based on the information you have provided thus far, I don't know that the employment issues are terribly relevant.

 

 

How much am I allowed to tell the judge when she asks me about his allegations against me.

 

- If the judge asks you a question, by all means answer that question. Outside of that, I would suggest what I detailed above, that being to focus on the allegations of violence or threats of violence. If he alleged that you had sexual relations with another man, that wouldn't really be relevant and, as such, need not be addressed by you.

 

 

Am I allowed to fight these false accusations?

 

- Of course. In fact, I would urge you to do just that. As has been discussed, it would be potentially harmful to you if the PO is ultimately put in place against you. Not to mention that, just from a personal perspective, no one wants to have a judicial order in place prohibiting them from doing certain things.

 

 

Would I be wise to see if I can get a DVCPO against him and drop my CPO like has been suggested by his lawye r and a Dometic Violence lawyer. (she wouldn't take my case due to her knowing both our cases)?

 

- Without a full review of the cases, that is a difficult question to answer. If you have had two attorneys make such a recommendation, I would defer to their judgment on that issue.

 

 

 

Also, several customers have asked how they may direct a question to me in particular. If you specifically want me to assist you in your legal matter, just put "FOR JOSEPH" in the subject line and I will gladly pick up the question as soon as I am on-line.

Joseph
Joseph, Criminal Defense Lawyer
Category: Criminal Law
Satisfied Customers: 7,280
Experience: I have 15 years experience in criminal litigation including several years as a felony prosecutor
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Customer reply replied 6 years ago

Hi JoSeph,

 

This is follow-up on my questions from last weekend. I am really having a hard time

finding a lawyer (pro-bono or free).

 

My court dates are March 28th for my case against him and April 2nd for his case against me. His lawyer sent me a letter regarding when I get a lawyer to have my lawyer call him and they would talk about agreeing to a way to settle this out of court.

Should I call his lawyer to see how this can be settled out of court since I don't have a lawyer to represent me in court? If yes, what would be your advice on what I should agree to. What is important to me is that Stephen just leave me alone. I of course would never contact him.

 

Is this common to agree to in cpo cases? Or what do you think his lawyer is talking about when he is asking about agreeing to a settlement between us?

 

Again, I am confused on what my rights are and are not when it comes to agreeing outside of court.

 

I hope you can help me with this and please tell me you have my information still from last week...if not I will remind you.

 

Thank you

Debra Brodie

Should I call his lawyer to see how this can be settled out of court since I don't have a lawyer to represent me in court?

 

- Yes. If you do not have an attorney representing you, there is nothing wrong with contacting the attorney directly. If you call the attorney in advance, you will have plenty of time to discuss the issues and see if there is a way to work the case out prior to court.

 

 

If yes, what would be your advice on what I should agree to. What is important to me is that Stephen just leave me alone. I of course would never contact him.

 

- As you are not an attorney, my thought would be to let him talk first, that gives you an opportunity to learn his perspective and his goals first, before you share your perspective. I, of course, do not know his attorney and therefore don't know his style. However, some attorneys will try to intimidate pro se litigants....don't let this happen. If things are not going your way, end the conversation.

 

 

Is this common to agree to in cpo cases? Or what do you think his lawyer is talking about when he is asking about agreeing to a settlement between us?

 

- Yes, it is common in any case, including CPO cases, to attempt a resolution. The advantage to reaching an agreement is that it avoids the uncertainty of going to court where you might both be dissatisfied with the result.

 

 

Let me know if anything requires clarification.

 

 

Also, several customers have asked how they may direct a question to me in particular. If you specifically want me to assist you in your legal matter, just put "FOR JOSEPH" in the subject line and I will gladly pick up the question as soon as I am on-line.

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Customer reply replied 6 years ago

 

What does worry me is this: Last night as I was pulling out of the parking lot at my apartment I saw Stephen drive by. If I had any idea he was going to be out there I would of taken a picture but of course I was not thinking of anything like that. So I have no way to prove this. Is this information that I should share with anyone since I have no proof. There is a cul de sac next to my apartment and there is no reason for him to be down in my area except to be seeing if I was home? Should I mention this to his attorney or would it be hurting me?

 

My problem is I have no proof on anything I have against him. Of course witnesses but I don't want it to go that far. I am not a mean hearted person and do not think like one. The fact I have no proof on my complaints against him is one reason I do not want to go to court. It scares me. My fear makes me weak. Is this normal? Do most woman that have gone thru this type of mental abuse have the same problem?

Both as a prosecutor and as a defense attorney, I have handled hundreds of cases that involved a female that was the victim of some type of violent or harassing behavior. One of the most constant factors is the female victim suffering from a great deal of fear. So yes, my thought is that you are completely "normal" in regards XXXXX XXXXX matter.

 

And yes, I would suggest sharing this with his attorney. You would want to talk to him in a calm, professional manner. While our system is called an "adversarial system", that does not mean that you can't get along with his attorney. Instead of treating him like the enemy, treat him as you would any other professional trying to do their job. But yes, mention this incident as an example of why you are in fear.

 

As to addressing it, you might say something as simple as, "I truly am in fear for my safety from Stephen. To help you understand my concern, he drove past my home just yesterday. Our hearing dates are approaching and he is so unconcerned that he still drives by my home."

 

 

Also, several customers have asked how they may direct a question to me in particular. If you specifically want me to assist you in your legal matter, just put "FOR JOSEPH" in the subject line and I will gladly pick up the question as soon as I am on-line.

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The responses above are from individual Experts, not JustAnswer. The site and services are provided “as is”. To view the verified credential of an Expert, click on the “Verified” symbol in the Expert’s profile. This site is not for emergency questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals. Please carefully read the Terms of Service (last updated February 8, 2012).

DISCLAIMER: Answers from Experts on JustAnswer are not substitutes for the advice of an attorney. JustAnswer is a public forum and questions and responses are not private or confidential or protected by the attorney-client privilege. The Expert above is not your attorney, and the response above is not legal advice. You should not read this response to propose specific action or address specific circumstances, but only to give you a sense of general principles of law that might affect the situation you describe. Application of these general principles to particular circumstances must be done by a lawyer who has spoken with you in confidence, learned all relevant information, and explored various options. Before acting on these general principles, you should hire a lawyer licensed to practice law in the jurisdiction to which your question pertains.

The responses above are from individual Experts, not JustAnswer. The site and services are provided “as is”. To view the verified credential of an Expert, click on the “Verified” symbol in the Expert’s profile. This site is not for emergency questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals. Please carefully read the Terms of Service (last updated February 8, 2012).

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