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A.S.B., Esq.
A.S.B., Esq., Lawyer
Category: Criminal Law
Satisfied Customers: 148
Experience:  I am an Assistant District Attorney, and former criminal defense attorney.
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I dont know what to do, but there is a situation between me

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I dont know what to do, but there is a situation between me and my ex boyfriend, we got into a fight like 8 months ago and things got physical, so i left the house and went to see friends. now that everything is over and done with my friends took me to the police and told me to report it and he was arrested that day..but now with time gone by i dont want them to put him away for years...i dont know what to to about that though. I dont want to deal with any of this court stuff anymore, i do love him very much. I need advice about how i can eliminate myself from this situation, because with me involved they want to put him away for many years and i dont want that.

First and foremost, thank you for choosing I am a licensed criminal defense attorney, former Deputy District Attorney, and member of the American Bar Association.


The District Attorney's Office cannot proceed with their case if they do not have a witness; you can refuse to be a witness in the case if you have decided a criminal prosecution is not "what the doctor ordered". The DA's would be unable to proceed with a case against your ex-boyfriend because of the amount of time that has elapsed, the lack (or absence) of physical evidence, and absent your testimony.


The first thing you should try is calling the Assistant District Attorney assigned to the case and explaining to him/her exactly how you feel and why you feel the way you have described. This often is all that need be done in order to have the charges fully dismissed or at least lowered to the extent of paying a simple fine.


Your other option would be for you to refuse to proceed with the case by not appearing in court if you have already tried the above and the DA's have not been sympathetic to your cause. The DA's will send you subpoenas with nasty language on it demanding you appear in court but almost never take any action against an individual in your situation; the case will simply be dismissed.


I saw this hundreds of times as a prosecutor and it is actually a common occurrence. Cooler heads have prevailed by the time the case got to court and the parties wanted to settle things outside the courtroom; the DA's office complied.


I hope this helps. Please, click accept if you found my answer helpful so I may receive credit for my response. Do not hesitate to contact me via with any further questions or concerns. Thank you and good luck!!

Customer: replied 7 years ago.
So first and foremost try contacting the DA's office and tell them i do not want to procceed and if they arent willing to just take that then i can refuse to testify without actually being charged with anything? That is one of my worries is that they will try to charge me with something just because i do not want to proceed with any of makes my life harder rather than easier i dont want the stress anymore.

Yes, first call the District Attorneys Office and let them know you do not want to proceed with the case. Believe it or not, they may try to talk you out of it or threaten you to proceed, but you have A LOT of power over how they will proceed. Do not make any statements other than you do not want them to proceed and why. If they want to talk to you beyond that you should refuse.


Secondly, do not testify. They could threaten to file false reports against you, but that is just an idle threat. We tried that at our old office, but the fact of the matter is you did not file a false report; you just do not want the case prosecuted. Therefore, that charge cannot stand. It is a DA's tactic to get you to testify.


Typically, it will not go that far and the DA's will just take your wishes as they are. Hang in thereCustomer. . . I've seen many in your position and it all works out fine.


Please, don't forget to click "Accept" so I may receive credit for my responses! :) Thank you and good luck!!

Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Ok, and just one more question i guess is what i have....I had a protection from abuse order set soon after the inccident and i made a modification so that me and my ex could have contact, i'm sure they will probably assume that he has influenced me to drop the case but he has not had any influence on my decision. That wont have any effect on him or me because i made that modification and now i dont want to procceed? I just feel that having them use me to put him away for like 30 years is not going to improve him as a person is my belief because many people i have noticed seem to come out of that situation even worse than when they went in because of spending that much time in jail i dont feel it helps them you know what i mean....Thank you for all your advice i really do appreciate it, you really did help me so that i know what the real deal is.

The fact you had your PFA modified will not have an effect on this particular case. There is no charge for an individual who has a PFA modified. The DA's can assume all they want about your reasons for not wanting to pursue the case, but they cannot prove anything and, even if they could, there is no charge that would allow them to change the case based upon a simple modification on the PFA.


I'm so glad I could be of assistance to youCustomer I really hope I helped. Again, please, press "Accept" or I do not receive credit for my answers to you. Thank you and good luck!!!

A.S.B., Esq. and 2 other Criminal Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 7 years ago.

I dont know what to do in regards XXXXX XXXXX situation, I have told the D.A. Office that i no longer want to proceed with this case, my ex does have a record and he was in court for indicment last tuesday, i'm not sure what else to do to end all of this. I changed my pfa order so that he and i could have contact but now there are conditions of probation that say he cannot have contact with me, and i found this out because i tried to schedule a visit with him so now i am not allowed to visit him. I dont know what to do, i dont want him to go to jail for 40 years any advice on what i can do to maybe hopefully end all of this??