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AlexiaEsq., Managing Attorney
Category: Criminal Law
Satisfied Customers: 13566
Experience:  19+ Years of Legal Practice in Criminal Law.
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My x fiance left me because he couldn t do it n person, obviusly

Customer Question

My x fiance left me because he couldn' t do it n person, obviusly hurt him too much. He is controlled by his famalies money. he felt horrible, or so he said, after 3 years did this by email, a few days to my birthday after presneting me with a ring. I learned he was with a girl the weekend of my birthday, he would give me no eplanation and started calling me a stalker for my need of emotional closeure. Most of my family passed away, I was deestated, he continued telling me we just had to move on he could not provide for me but loved me more then anything. Months later he still owes me money, we had a apartment together he turned on me and spilt all our personal stuff to the apartment building. Cut off his email and phones from me. In the meanterm this girl he spent my birthday wit, sets me up as stalking her (I had to change my number) and stalking him. The number came back as hers, he has become so vicious and cruel and defaming my repuatation, when I have had to take on all emotional and financial responsibiltes. I was already going through so much loss this year and he turned on me so viviously. No rubs salt in my wounds with embarrassing and false allegations. When I attampt to have him even wrap up bills in our name he hangs up on me(the few times i have been able to reach him at work) and says I am obsessd.He blames his constant phone # XXXXX on me (this girl is much younger and will not give him her new # XXXXX says because I might find it out?) Truth is she has this # XXXXX harrass me and prank him, so he thinks its me. I am almost 40, its beyond demoralizing.Its crazy making, very damaging. I have been long distance and aited paitently for this man for 2 of the four years we were together. He demands that I send the bills to his parents attorney (isnt it usually the person owed money who gets the attorney) He unblocked his email to write me that I had a day to turn everything over into my name utitily wise, that we should have no ties. I have been betrayed so by the man I trusted, But the emotional distress by him turning his affair into my problem and publicly telling everyone I HAVE ABANDONMENT ISSUES AND TO MOVE THE ***K ON? THE LAST TIME I SAW HIM WE were making life plans, and he gave me this beautiful promise ring. I know I can sue him in small claims, he has paid back most of it but makes me jump through hoops. But he has turned this new girl into a saint and me into this stalker? Its proven to be her # XXXXX know it sounds trival, but the hurt was unbearable, to make me out to be this crazy person when we have a lease and bills and he owed me money, and blocks me from all contact, and the few times he unblocked me said I was abusing my privliges because I brought up emotion. ANd contact his parents attorney. It has broken me, he knows all my intimate feelings he is using against me, and alamost prides himself that I counted on him and most of my family passed away recently. Please help, I feel the only way to stop his slander is an attorney. I feel bullied and demoralized and it is deeply affecting my wellbeing and spirit. Thank You

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Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Criminal Law
Expert:  AlexiaEsq. replied 7 years ago.



I"m so sorry for your painful break up. Many of us have been there, it is not fun.


Could you please specify your legal question we can help you with? You need to ask it in your post, rather than directing us to another website.



Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Iam sorry didnt ean to ramble on, but I want to put some sort of gag order, r deflamation of character. It is humilating his lies, he threstened a restraining order when I wrote his other about the bills, It has been near impossible to wrap up our apartment, he vanished. And when I had all his stuff removed from the place he called me holding on, rather then he abandoned me to deal an dgot it out so we wouldnt ruin criedt. The behavior is unwarrented and beyond cruelty, but to accuse me of stalking has shamed me, his family has money so he hides behind that. I only seeked respect, honesty and closure to all the intertwined financials. I havent slept for months, am truly mortified and distressed. CAn I sue, I dot want the money but I want this public slander and false accusations to cease.
Expert:  AlexiaEsq. replied 7 years ago.

Here is the elements, generally, for defamation:


Defamation consists of the following:


(1) a defamatory statement; (meaning a false statement that is not just a negative opinion but a statemnt of FACT, such as, "she broke into my house", when in fact you were never at his house, etc.)

(2) published to third parties; and (this part is easy, stated to others)

(3) which the speaker or publisher knew or should have known was false. (against, it is a fabrication, a lie of fact, not opinion; if he says, "I feel like she is a stalker" that may not rise to defamation, becuase only he knows how he feels, but if he fabricates an event involving you, he knows it is not true...)


Defamation in the love scene is difficult,Customer but not impossible if the facts warrant it.


If you are not convinced you can win this, I would concentrate on putting him behind me, entirely. If you feel he owes you unpaid bills, I would send them to his attorney, as he suggested, because you likely should not be communicating with him directly at all.


Let's face it, he is not the right person for you - regardless of the brain numbing emotional pain. With perseverance on your part, you WILL get over this. But you must work at it, and you must act with dignity for the betterment of yourself. Don't talk to him, don't write him, don't email him, don't call him, don't even talk about him to other. It is over, in the past, etc. Consider getting a new phone number and new email if you believe either one of them will derail you. If the money issues remaining are insignificant, consider foregoing them because the sooner you have nothing to do with this situation, the sooner you will start to heal.


Put your physical and mental wellbeing first - eat right, sleep 8 hours/night, take walks or exercise, and get new interests. Time for change, seriously. And the physical well being, particularly sleeping and eating right, are so important, because when we don't do that we are very in danger of depression setting in - take care of that body.


The sooner you have nothing more to do with that PAST situation, the better for you. It can take a couple of years of licking your wounds, but with working at it, you will bee 10 times stronger and wiser and will be less apt to make the same mistake again. Remember, if you have to "wait" for a man, at our ages, he is likely not worth the wait. He is either Mr. Right or he is NOT - why wait for him to change. There are plenty of fish in the sea.


Take the time to heal yourself and realize you deserve better then him - and cut your past losses and move on. You will be SO happy you did, down the road, when you have had the change to heal and grow, unfettered with the crap involving him now, that you can rid yourself of.


Good luck. You can do this.



Hope this helps to clarify. If it does, please click ACCEPT and follow up if needed after you do so. This expert's credit proceeds go towards providing volunteer provisions for the disabled. Thank you for helping!


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