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Doc Sara
Doc Sara, Veterinarian
Category: Cat Veterinary
Satisfied Customers: 952
Experience:  I am a dog and cat veterinarian with a lifetime of experience in our family veterinary hospital.
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I left my husband of 20 yrs. and didn't want to uproot my

Customer Question

I left my husband of 20 yrs. and didn't want to uproot my two 7&8 yr old rag doll cats so I left them too. I'm having a hard time because they are my children. They miss me too. One cat only urinates once a day outside or inside on the carpet. The other uses all the litter boxes at my husbands house. What should I do now that I'm settled? Help should I move them with me or stop visiting all together? Please advise
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Cat Veterinary
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I've been gone 2 months. I moved all my things. The cats go outside in a fenced yard now but won't if I move them in with me. They are stressed. Should I leave them or take them? I'm torn. I love them soooo. Will they be more stressed moving or will they be better off as is. Will they adjust better moving with me or staying with my husband? He loves them but I'm Mom! I can't stand the thought of them always searching for me. 😭😢😢😢
Expert:  Doc Sara replied 1 year ago.

Hi there, I'm Dr. Sara - I'm a licensed veterinarian and I work exclusively with cats and dogs. I'm really sorry that you're going through this difficult time. I know that you are very stressed and conflicted. I've locked on to your question - please allow me a few minutes to type out my response. We can chat here until you're satisfied :)

~Dr. Sara

Expert:  Doc Sara replied 1 year ago.

Cats really are quite adaptable critters, so I would try not to worry quite so much - I know - easier said than done!!!

If you've been moved out now for two months, they have probably already adjusted to their new life. That's not to say, though, that they couldn't adjust to living with you in your new home. As long as they get time and TLC and someone to feed them and spend some time with them, they will feel loved and comfortable. Some cats are very attached to their outdoor time, so if they really like going outside at their current home, they may miss that outdoor time in your new home. I especially worry about the gal who you say only urinates either outside or on the carpet. If she's not going outside at your new home, then she may default to going on the carpet, which would be stressful for you.

Ultimately, I think that as long as they're cared for and loved, they will adjust to either home just fine. :) So it's OK to consider what YOU want in this situation as well.

Please let me know what other questions I can handle for you!
~Dr. Sara

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Should I stay away completely or keep visiting? Will my visits make them search for me when I'm gone and cause them stress? I cry when I visit and then have to leave them. My heart is broken.. Should I get another kitten in my new home?
Expert:  Doc Sara replied 1 year ago.

Thanks for the reply :)

Cats definitely pick up on our moods and behaviors, so seeing you so upset each time might be stressful for them. It would be stressful for me - and it's clearly stressful for you too :(

It's OK to move them in with you if it's what works - I really think that they will adjust well with the right support. If not, you could always consider taking them on a trial basis with an agreement that they can go back home if it doesn't work out. As for getting a kitten - that's up to you! I would say, though, that if there's any chance that at some point your former husband will "kick the cats out" and make you take them, you'd then have three cats, which isn't necessarily a bad thing ;) just something to consider!!! You also have to ask yourself if a new kitten is really what you want. It sounds like you want YOUR cats, not just A cat to me. Having said that, though, starting over with a new pet is something we all do in our lives - the new pet doesn't replace the old, but it can sometimes soften the grief and help us heal.

Take care and let me know if I can help more :)

~Dr. Sara