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Michael, Employment Services
Category: Job
Satisfied Customers: 3053
Experience:  Employment Services Professional
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Recently I got a new part time job through a friend. At the

Customer Question

Recently I got a new part time job through a friend. At the workplace, this friend is the person in charge of management and is close to the boss personally. We've had a few disagreements over how some things are to be done at the workplace and on the first encounter, I chose to take what she told me, consider it and try improve myself and the way I worked. However on the second occasion I took it more personally and got angry, especially when she told me how she hadn't reported a mistake I made to the boss. It felt like I was being blackmailed. She also constantly talks about how I should behave the way she wants me to as she was the one who landed me the job, how she would never do anything that would lead to anything detrimental happening to the establishment and about how stubborn I was and how I don't listen to her. She also keeps bringing up past mistakes I had made during my training period as to reinforce now troublesome I was. Also how everything I do only reflects me and that she had nothing to worry about as her position within the establishment was guaranteed as a result of her closeness with the boss. I feel there are veiled threats in the way she speaks to me.
I have spoken with the boss when she asked me about it and she advised to keep working well the way she (the director) asked of me and if anything comes up, to talk to her about it. The second occasion we had a confrontation I was so distraught I immediately called the boss and spoke to her, also mentioning to her about the mistake that my friend hadn't mentioned to her about. I told her it was my fault and wouldn't happen again, just so I didn't have to face feeling like I was being blackmailed by my friend. The boss told me that I am working well and to not worry about such things but to keep up my work. I felt better after speaking to her at length as I realized I need not have reacted or taken things that personally.The next day was my day off and I found that a meeting had been held to discuss matters and establish a routine and strict roster at the workplace. This resulted in the next day she (friend) yelled at me following and said "I now know that one of my friend's is a tattle tale" as the boss had brought up the matter of the mistake i made that my friend had allegedly not reported in the spirit of friendship. I was disturbed by this. On thinking things through, I feel that I was influenced by the things my friend had said and I am in this position as a result of reacting to what she said. My boss has not contacted me personally to bring up any of these alleged issues. Everything I hear about the decisions the boss has made is through my friend but I am very distrustful of her as I feel the way she delivers the information to me is different (i.e: more aggressive and confronting) from the way the director would actually have imparted her decision.
How should I proceed and what should I do to improve both my mentality and workplace situation?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Job
Expert:  Michael replied 1 year ago.
Hello and welcome to JustAnswers.Reading what you have been going through and the difficulty of dealing with a friend that seems to have issues in the workplace for some reason not stated. Right away, you have been doing the right thing as confronting the friend when needed as to stand up for yourself as well as take what is said to improve yourself in the job. It seems now that things might be a tad difficult in the office as more of these events I feel will continue.As for now what I would suggest in making your workplace a sane place:1. Continue with what you are doing by being as professional as you can dealing with this person as well as other co-workers. It is obvious that the boss is aware of your good work so continue with what you are doing.2. Make friends as well as professional contacts with those in the office that you can talk to and help to lean on when things are getting tough with the friend.3. Keep things short and to the point with the friend and continue to do the good work assigned to you. Does not help to yell back at this person as nothing will be achieved.4. Consider speaking with HR if things get really out of hand. Explain in detail what has been going on and any advise they might have.5. If the atmosphere continues, consider looking for another department within the company so that you can continue with the job while getting away from person who is causing you all this grief.
Expert:  Michael replied 1 year ago.
I hope that the suggestions I have offered can help in the situation you are in. If you could take a moment to rate my assistance so that I know my help was useful and allow me to assist other customers on our site.Take care,Michael