Job

Ask a career counselor for answers ASAP

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

I have a very and sad ( anyway) story but will try to keep…

Customer Question
I have a very long...
I have a very long and sad (for me anyway) story but will try to keep in short and hit the high points:
In current position for 11 years - LOVED my job and my boss for nine years - boss retired. It has been "understood" for years that I would take his place - was groomed from the time I started. Excellent performance reiviews, increased responsibility, etc. Another applicant was chosen. Disappointed but new boss was great (after I got over my pity party) and I learned a lot from him. He left after only eight months, again passed over for another male (I should mention I work in a male dominated, marine environment) This guy was not qualified in the least for the position. While I resisted his authority for a few months, I finally pulled it together, was honest with him about my resentment and disappointment and since that time we have "gotten along" unlike others in our department. Even so, I actaully despise him - he has reduced me and my coworker from front line managers to his administrative assistants. He speaks to me like I am a 10 year old, inexperienced little girl while I in turn am 10 years older than him and have a BA in HR. He has removed all my personnel responsibilities along with all authority I have had since starting in my job. His boss and his boss support him because he is a male and can talk a good story. My coworker and I have become the emotional, bitter and untrustworthy bitches in the office. We have filed complaints with HR and the human rights office to no avail - Mangement supposrts him 110%. He has made some pretty significant mistakes but turns them around on us because we should have warned him. However when we try to give him feedback, we are ignored. As I said, he likes me and I bend over backwards to stay in his good graces. I am trying to "manage up" but not being very successful. While he believes I am on board with all his new ideas and stratgies because I follow his instruction, I come home most nights in tears. I have developed an ulcer and have begun to drink a lot more than I used to just to be able to cope. I feel like I have sold myself to the devil - especially since my coworker has not cooperated and he has alienated her completely. If she has a job next month, I will be surprised. The really hate each other. And I know she thinks I am not being loyal to her because I am trying to keep my job. We live in a small, isolated island community with few employment options - believe me, I have been looking. I have a great job with great benefits and some job protection. I can't afford to lose it. But I also feel like I am a phony, ass kissing sellout.
How do I keep working for someone I can't stand, who treats me like an inferior being, without feeling like I am being untrue to myself?
Submitted: 2 years ago.Category: Job
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Job Question
Answered in 1 day by:
9/28/2015
Career Counselor: Phillips Esq., Attorney-at-Law replied 2 years ago
Phillips Esq.
Phillips Esq., Attorney-at-Law
Category: Job
Satisfied Customers: 21,689
Experience: B.A.; M.B.A.; J.D.
Verified

I am sorry to read about your difficulties.

Regrettably, you need to play the office politics for your survival. Eventhough you feel like a sellout, you are doing what you have to do and nothing more regardless of what a co-worker thinks or feels. You have to protect yourself and your own job. Your co-worker's hurt feelings should be the least of your worries.

Ask Your Own Job Question
Customer reply replied 2 years ago

You sound like my husband (who is usually right but don't tell him I said that!)

Thanks for that dose of realitySmile

Career Counselor: Phillips Esq., Attorney-at-Law replied 2 years ago

You are quite Welcome!

Kindly give a positive rating to my response so that I can receive credit for responding to your post.

Thank you very much for your cooperation,

Best wishes,

Ask Your Own Job Question
Was this answer helpful?
Ask Phillips Esq. Your Own Question
Phillips Esq.
Phillips Esq.
Phillips Esq., Attorney-at-Law
Category: Job
Satisfied Customers: 21,689
21,689 Satisfied Customers
Experience: B.A.; M.B.A.; J.D.

Phillips Esq. is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help.

Mary C.Freshfield, Liverpool, UK

This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!!

AlexLos Angeles, CA

Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult.

GPHesperia, CA

I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion.

JustinKernersville, NC

Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around.

EstherWoodstock, NY

Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know.

RobinElkton, Maryland

He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here.

DianeDallas, TX

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

Michael

Michael

Employment Services

987 satisfied customers

Employment Services Professional

Seanna

Seanna

Hiring Manager

377 satisfied customers

Hiring manager, resume prep, interview skills & job search

LawTalk

LawTalk

Lawyer

216 satisfied customers

I have practiced law for more than a quarter of a century.

KaterB1270

KaterB1270

Life Skills Instructor

123 satisfied customers

BS Family Consumer Sciences Ed. and Masters of Art in Teaching

John Henderson

John Henderson

Human Resources Consultant

112 satisfied customers

I have been self employed for 25 years and consult on-the-job conflict resolution as a ministry.

Job Pro

Job Pro

Human Resources Professional

61 satisfied customers

Master's Degree in Business with seven years experience in Human Recourses and Job Coaching.

Karen

Karen

Business Owner

24 satisfied customers

Owner of a small business and a former Human Resource Professional

< Previous | Next >

Related Job Questions
I been at my job for a year how do i be unique at work and
I been at my job for a year how do i be unique at work and still bring my best work efforts… read more
Michael
Michael
Employment Services
Bachelor's Degree
987 satisfied customers
How to sail through interview questions? I would like to
How to sail through interview questions? I would like to nail each every interview to secure a job. Please guide. This question is for HR managers.… read more
Michael
Michael
Employment Services
Bachelor's Degree
987 satisfied customers
I am looking for a job vigorously. How do I connect with a
I am looking for a job vigorously. How do I connect with a friendly and helpful Head Hunter? Area San Francisco Bay Area. Any suggestions/ guidance?… read more
Michael
Michael
Employment Services
Bachelor's Degree
987 satisfied customers
What are the best websites for freelance
What are the best websites for freelance work/surveys/anything to make some money ASAP?Or just to spread awareness… read more
Michael
Michael
Employment Services
Bachelor's Degree
987 satisfied customers
I don't know what I want to do for work, I'm good in many
I don't know what I want to do for work, I'm good in many different things. I'm also a fast learner. Not looking for blue collar labor, I'm more into white collar jobs. I've worked before but I want a… read more
Michael
Michael
Employment Services
Bachelor's Degree
987 satisfied customers
Looking for a top notch job recruiter with good reputation.
Looking for a top notch job recruiter with good reputation. Employment in Minneapolis. BA Degree from GWU in Community relations. Moving from DC/Boston. Thanks… read more
Michael
Michael
Employment Services
Bachelor's Degree
987 satisfied customers
How can I find out when new employees join a specific
how can I find out when new employees join a specific company whether by alerts or search function, linked in or some other service, etc...? … read more
Michael
Michael
Employment Services
Bachelor's Degree
987 satisfied customers
How to get a job in American Samoa and move to American
How to get a job in American Samoa and move to American Samoa. Are there immigration requirements for US citizens. And what's the best way to rent a serviced apartment?Also how to transfer a driver/mo… read more
Michael
Michael
Employment Services
Bachelor's Degree
987 satisfied customers
Is there a resource for listing a specific set of questions
Is there a resource for listing a specific set of questions and considerations for becoming an employee of a start up company. Series funding I understand, but more Specifics around EBITA and exit str… read more
Michael
Michael
Employment Services
Bachelor's Degree
987 satisfied customers
I'm researching a health career that I can become certified
I'm researching a health career that I can become certified in 9-12 months. I would have to take the course online because there are no schools close to me that offer it. But, I don't know how to pick… read more
Michael
Michael
Employment Services
Bachelor's Degree
987 satisfied customers
Let me check for me below link.Is this real job webpage?
Let me check for me below link.Is this real job webpage? Because I had a lot of resume submitted to this very sooner. www.gulfjobsrequire.com… read more
Michael
Michael
Employment Services
Bachelor's Degree
987 satisfied customers
My husband had a massive stroke on his left side which
My husband had a massive stroke on his left side which 1/2010 which left him paralyzed and unable to speak. He can now walk w/o a cane, excercises 1 1/2 3/wk, can use his right arm but not hand and fi… read more
Anthony Bray, MD
Anthony Bray, MD
Doctoral Degree
9,226 satisfied customers
How to start an affiliate marketing website. What kinds of
How to start an affiliate marketing website. What kinds of websites attract people. If I want to sell singer or celebrity items how should I start?… read more
Steve Herrod
Steve Herrod
Senior Customer Care Engineer
Master\u0027s Degree
882 satisfied customers
We want to develop a crowdsourcing platform for Disabled Persons
We want to develop a crowdsourcing platform for Disabled Persons to work from home or remote offices. Lots of Disabled Persons can not travel far for work. We want to offer them this platform to find … read more
Chris
Chris
233 satisfied customers
Please can you assist. I am a UK trained diagnostic
Please can you assist. I am a UK trained diagnostic radiographer with 8 years experience with both UK and Australian citizenship. I am looking into training as a sonographer and have been accepted for… read more
wieyedoc
wieyedoc
Ophthalmologist & Retina Specialist
Doctoral Degree
920 satisfied customers
In Oklahoma, how much do drywall hangers make per sq. foot.
In Oklahoma, how much do drywall hangers make per sq. foot. finishers to tape, float and skim (per sq foot). Sanders (per sq. foot), Also, Person who does the texture (per sq foot)?. Do drywall subcon… read more
John Contractor
John Contractor
Owner
Vocational, Technical or Trade Scho
287 satisfied customers
I want to get a clear understanding of exactly how much
I want to get a clear understanding of exactly how much money a veterinarian can expect to make. I have done much research and what I have form is . 1 complete a bs with pre-reqs for graduate school i… read more
Doc Sara
Doc Sara
Associate Veterinarian
Doctoral Degree
158 satisfied customers
I am trying to decide on a career seeing as i will be in college
I am trying to decide on a career seeing as i will be in college next year i know it's still early to make a decision but i'd like an opinion. I've considered being a vet, specifically with horses but… read more
Dr. Andy
Dr. Andy
Veterinarian, Medical Director
Doctoral Degree
16,421 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x