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My ex moved out of province 3 months into the pregnancy and…

My ex moved out...

My ex moved out of province 3 months into the pregnancy and lied to me about an abortion. The baby is due in 2 months, and since I live in Quebec, and her in Ontario, I need to know how this custody and paternity process is going to work.

Lawyer's Assistant: What steps has your ex taken? Has she filed any papers in Quebec family court?

She hid the pregnancy from me entirely.

Lawyer's Assistant: Has she talked to a lawyer about this yet?

I haven't got a clue. She completely blocked me out of her life. I should also point out that she has no basis for this behaviour aside from a small argument in our relationship.

Lawyer's Assistant: Anything else you want the lawyer to know before I connect you?

I just want to know what is realistically going to happen once I file for a paternity test and how I would do so when I have no idea where she lives.

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3/20/2018
Debra
Debra, Lawyer
Category: Canada Law
Satisfied Customers: 103,889
Experience: Lawyer
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Hello! My name is Debra (formerly known as Legal Ease). Thank you for your question. I'm reviewing it now, and will post back again shortly.

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I am sorry to hear this.

Are you saying right now you cannot find her?

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Customer reply replied 1 month ago
She's 26 I'm 24
She left because the relationship was "moving too fast"
I thought about suicide when she told me she was getting an abortion, then she blocked me on Facebook and all other platforms and disappeared. When I checked her Facebook page via another persons Facebook I deduced she is now living in her hometown again and she's part of 3 parenting groups. When I asked her friend, she responded with "I don't want to get involved" and blocked me as well.
Customer reply replied 1 month ago
If she was still in the province, this would be pretty easy to figure out. But because she moved, I have no idea what's going to happen. Will she be forced to move back so that I can have my share of custody?

You cannot get a paternity test if you cannot find her. So you will need to find her. If necessary you can hire a licenced private investigator in Ontario. They will not charge a lot and will easily find her.

But you cannot take her to court until the baby is born.

Once the baby is born you can apply for an order for paternity testing.

From there you can try and get an order for custody or access. She will not be forced to move back to Quebec though. If the baby is born in Ontario the court in Ontario is the court that will have jurisdiction and can give you custody or access but that would all take place in Ontario.

Does that help as a starting point?

Please feel free to post back with any follow-up questions you may have. If you don't have any then I hope I have earned a 5 star rating but if you don't feel that I have please don't hesitate to reply back and let me know what more I can do to assist you. Finally, please know that even after you rate me I will be here for you and you can ask follow-up questions if you think of them later on at no further charge of course.

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Customer reply replied 1 month ago
I hire a Private Investigator to find her, and then I have her subpoenaed for a paternity test?

Not quite.

You find her and once the baby is born you serve her with a court application for an order for a paternity test.

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Customer reply replied 1 month ago
From my understanding, once the paternity test is confirmed, 50/50 custody is granted to the parents. How does that work if I'm a province away?

That is not the case though. It's not at all how the law works.

Once the paternity is confirm you can agree about custody or seek a court order. If you remain in Quebec and the baby lives in Ontario you can get access but you will not get joint custody. You could try and get an order for sole custody and have the baby move with you but it not likely you would win unless there is a problem with the mother's parenting. You will have a much better chance if you move to Ontario.

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Customer reply replied 1 month ago
Is there any penalty she is looking at for lying to me?

No but if you end up in court you can show she is a liar and that will help in the sense that she won't be believed and you will if there are facts in dispute.

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Customer reply replied 1 month ago
What will be taken into account? I have a stable relationship with a woman that already has a child, and my entire family is supporting me. I know she has a small amount of family there, but it's New Brunswick. Montreal has more opportunity for education, and we're moving to Toronto, which is even more rich in regards ***** ***** Will any of that be looked at?

Everything will be looked at.

At the end of the day the Court would make its decision based on what it finds to be in the best interests of the child.

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Customer reply replied 1 month ago
What are the chances that I could win sole custody? I assume that my chances are increased if I'm working full time and making a good amount of money as well as having a strong family background here.

Your chances are stronger if you have a lot of extended family support and are responsible but it's not really about money.

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Customer reply replied 1 month ago
Do judges still favor the mother?
Customer reply replied 1 month ago
Or do I have an equal chance of winning custody?

When the child is an infant I would say they do not because of our gender but because infants tend to need their mothers especially if they are nursing.

But the point really is that unless you are living in the child's city your chances are very poor as there is not much likelihood at all that a court would say you can move the child away from their mother.

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Customer reply replied 1 month ago
she can just move to another province and lie to me only to, in the end, put me in a position in which I have to uproot my entire life to follow her?

She can do what she wants before the baby is born. So if the baby is born there she can stay there with the baby.

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Customer reply replied 1 month ago
That seems like a fairly one-sided situation. There's nothing protecting me from these kind of situations?
Customer reply replied 1 month ago
It very much feels like my hand is being forced
It is one sided in the sense that where the child is born matters and that no one has a say over a woman’s body until the child is born. But if you convince her to move back to Quebec and settled there then she will not be able to take the baby back without a court order and then it will be extremely hard for her to get that order.
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Customer reply replied 1 month ago
Is there any chance that the judge will make that kind of recommendation or will that have to be settled in mediation?
Settling is usually better but no one can be forced to settle. If you go to court the court will make its decision based on what it’s finds to be in the best interest of the child as I’ve explained but it is rare for a court to allow a child to be moved to another province away from one parent especially in the case of an infant.
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Customer reply replied 1 month ago
I don't want to have to fight with her. I just want my time with my child. Is it possible after this first custody agreement is set to re-visit and amend it in the future when things change? When is a child able to make their own decision about what parent they stay with? I have no doubt in my mind that I would provide a more stable and healthy home, but unless I find that she's doing something really not OK, then you're right. I don't have much of a chance of winning sole custody as an infant. Realistically, what should I do in the long-run?
I don't think she will make a bad mother, but I don't think that her lifestyle is entirely healthy for a child to live in. She's polyamorous and I know for a fact that seeing multiple partners go in and out of a childs life is unhealthy. And she was set on raising the child gender-fluid as well, which in my opinion is confusing for a child. I don't want a war. I want justice for what she's done, and appropriate access to my child.
An agreement about custody and access is never etched in stone and you can always bring an application to change the terms of the agreement whenever there is a material change in circumstance.A child can decide where to live when they are 16 in Ontario. However, by the time they are 12 or so their voice is given considerable weight.
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