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Debra, Lawyer
Category: Canada Law
Satisfied Customers: 99925
Experience:  Lawyer
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Divorced 5 years...50/50 custody by mediation...never with a

Customer Question

divorced 5 years...50/50 custody by mediation...never with a lawyer...broken down communications between myself and the mother. My new wife and I want full care of the kids, the mother only want 50/50 and nothing more...... issue being, we can't handle that person as she is unbalanced(depressive...on meds) and barely able to handle the three boys which the twins are ADHD and the oldest is mentally challenged.. We can and want to give full care but she will not let us....what are we up against as at this time I'm ready to walk away 100% to get away from the unreasonable illogical behaviors from the mother to the point that my health is starting to deteriorate.... So the question is.... is there a recourse or are we at a loss here? And have to stay at the mercy of whatever she can or can't do?
JA: Because family law varies from place to place, can you tell me what state this is in?
Customer: Canada Quebec...
JA: Has anything been filed or reported?
Customer: only surface issues with the CLSC(Health family local help) but no leagal issues
JA: Anything else you want the lawyer to know before I connect you?
Customer: no
Submitted: 9 months ago.
Category: Canada Law
Expert:  Debra replied 9 months ago.

Hello! My name is***** you for your question. I'm reviewing it now, and will post back again shortly.

Expert:  Debra replied 9 months ago.

Please provide me with the basic facts including the ages of the children, how long the arrangement has been in place etc.

Customer: replied 9 months ago.
11 years old, handicap
9 year old twins
Mediation was put in place in 2011, divorce finalised October 2012
no changes to the mediation since.
Customer: replied 9 months ago.
We've asked for the children many times and have had to step in and take them full time as she had fallen into deep depression...but now it's non stop calls from her about how to manage and take care of the kids as she has no clue....but refuses the suggestions and refuses outside we fear for the well being of the kids? we have documented proof of the medication not being administered to our handicap boy....he also gains 5-8 lbs of weight every week spent there that we manage to bring down every week he is back...that's just some of the issues at hand...
Expert:  Debra replied 9 months ago.

I am saddened to hear this.

Are you saying there is a written agreement that was signed after the mediation?

Customer: replied 9 months ago.
no, the mediation drafted was what document submitted and the judge considered when ruling on the divorce.
no other papers ever drafted or signed.
Expert:  Debra replied 9 months ago.

I am sorry but I cannot speak to you on the telephone. I know the site offers this service but the site is based in the US. As I am a lawyer in Canada the rules of my law society prohibit me from speaking to you on the telephone as you are not my client.

I can only speak to you by posting up and back over this site.

And does the judgment state custody is 50/50?

Customer: replied 9 months ago.
it is 50/50...we also have put out there that we are willing to also give up custody so that the kids can have a primary home with some sort of all 3 boys are having difficulty adjusting...we also put out there to go month by month.....half year to half...and again..all she wants is surviving every other week no more(we also know that she will not let go as she wants the subsidies to keep coming) we truly are trying to do what is best for the kids here....but the present situation with the mother and I..being the dad is not healthy for the boys....or I. can't speak for their mother!
Expert:  Debra replied 9 months ago.

But what I am asking is if this is in the judgment itself.

Customer: replied 9 months ago.
I deposited the divorce request, in Quebec, you can have a divorce after 1 year but mediation has to be done to have terms. So in my best judgement, I would say yes.
Expert:  Debra replied 9 months ago.

Then if you cannot agree on what happens you will need to apply to the court to vary the judgment.

The grounds for being able to apply are that there is a material change of circumstances. Time has passed, the kids are older, the mother has developed serious mental health issues and the children are doing poorly in the current arrangement.

You will have to prove to the court that sole custody where the children live mainly with you is in their best interests.

Do you see what I mean?

Please feel free to post back with any follow-up questions you may have. If you don't have any then I hope I have earned a 5 star rating but if you don't feel that I have please don't hesitate to reply back and let me know what more I can do to assist you. Finally, please know that even after you rate me I will be here for you and you can ask follow-up questions if you think of them later on at no further charge of course.

Customer: replied 9 months ago.
many thanks! we will follow the necessary steps to get some resolve.
Expert:  Debra replied 9 months ago.

You are very welcome.

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