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I am the "victim" as u will call it and I have had a

Customer Question
domestic dispute with my common-law...
I am the "victim" as u will call it and I have had a domestic dispute with my common-law. Bf. He is awaiting trial and we both have a nco and can't talk to each other. But am wanting know steps to get this nco lifted so I can work on our relationship after this is done. Is it possible if he wants to work on it and I want to work on it that it can be done. I have 3 kids that over heard dispute and didn't see it. He has charges of assault, uttering threats, driving while prohibited, and one more I can't think of. He was incarcerated for couple weeks. I tried to write a letter to crown but didn't go well stating I was trying to cover and that it is typical of victim to do this. I contacted my ex husband night of incident to get children as I know the 2 of us get upset and I didn't want kids to witness it, but it turned out badly regardless. I had bruising on me from trying to push him out of house once things got heated up but he was trying to get me to stop pushing him and holding me
Submitted: 1 year ago.Category: Canada Law
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Answered in 10 minutes by:
5/20/2016
Lawyer: Debra, Lawyer replied 1 year ago
Debra
Debra, Lawyer
Category: Canada Law
Satisfied Customers: 101,844
Experience: Lawyer
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I am sorry to hear of this difficult situation. But what you have to understand is that you did not charge your spouse. The police did. They did so because they had reasonable grounds for believing that a criminal offence has taken place. So they aren't going to withdraw the charges or change what they believe because you are feeling badly. What they explained to you is correct in that the victim often changes their mind. But, in our society we have what is called a zero tolerance to domestic violence policy and that is because victims change their minds. So while you can tell the crown what you feel you will not be able to have the no contact order lifted until the charges are dealt with. I suggest that you speak to victim services who can help you with all of these issues.
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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
I get that they feel they had but with all the commotion and lack of being able to focus a lot of Ferdinand clarification to a lot of things that were missed
Lawyer: Debra, Lawyer replied 1 year ago
I am not sure what you mean. I think there may be typos in your post.
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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
Oiye... Yes there was! I understand that there is a zero tolerance. Basically wondering what steps I can take to give them(crown) proof I can't change what happened as it is done but what we can do to make it so it doesn't happen again, counselling, I am going to every week. So is there anything I can do to get through that I don't want to give up on my partner and willing to do what I need to have a more successful relationship. Or do I need to wait to see what he is charged with. I am just concerned they will leave the nco in place and not sure how to go about talking and who to talk to. Victim service is ok but I can't get my point accross to them.
Customer reply replied 1 year ago
Suggestions to what i can do or what the crown looks for
Lawyer: Debra, Lawyer replied 1 year ago
You have to wait to see what the outcome of his charges are. Even if he is convicted you can ask to have the NCO lifted but you cannot now.There is nothing for you to do at this point.
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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
Ok, that's kinda the feeling I have got. So no matter how the charges are convicted and he pleads guilty and part of probation or charges r that we r to have no contact. I then can ask to get them lifted? I just don't get how I can even talk with him or work it out of they won't even let me know what is going on. I don't understand the process
Lawyer: Debra, Lawyer replied 1 year ago
This is why you should be speaking to victim services. They will help you with the process in great detail.But really what you have to know for now is that once the charges are dealt with you can ask to have the NCO lifted. So if he pleads guilty and he is convicted then you can ask to have the order lifted. Or if he is convicted later on then you can also apply to have the order lifted. If the charges are withdrawn then the order would automatically be lifted. But, for now there's nothing you can do.
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