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Debra, Lawyer
Category: Canada Law
Satisfied Customers: 100407
Experience:  Lawyer
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Im trying to see if I have a case. I tried to handle this between

Customer Question

Im trying to see if I have a case. I tried to handle this between the person and I by drawing up a cease and desist letter and begged them to comply, but instead they filed a police report against me for harassment. I sent the C&D on April 25 via email and they filed the report on April 26. This man who slandered/defamed me is a lawyer.. He and I have been back and forth. One minute we were fine and the next he would tell me to leave him alone. I didn't leave him alone recently, when he asked, because I wanted him to comply in writing that he would no longer talk about me. I didn't have a lawyer send it because I wanted to do this between us, but the letter did make mention of having a lawyer brought in if he didn't agree.
From the time I've known him he has done the following. Please keep in mind that this man is a lawyer. These events took place between May 2014 and August 2015 and I was constantly asking him to stop talking about me and spreading my business:
- He gave my phone number to his girlfriend, and the girl called me and threatened me.
- Even after I told him that I filed a report against her, he was still telling her my personal business.
-Told a co-worker (he knew she worked for the parent company I worked for) that he wondered how I got hired, that I flipped my weave when I found out he had a girlfriend, that I was stalking
him, asked why they [previous employer] didn't do a background check on me.
-Told a woman of my professional and personal pages, which she kept a note of. When I told him about it he lied and said he didn't tell anyone my pages. He later confessed and told me she would not bother me anymore and had no interest in me.
-Co-conspired with the same woman mentioned above to pull a "prank" on me where I work. It in turn caused me embarrassment and I had to ask a co-worker (and tell them my personal business) to fix the situation.
- Showed that same woman a private video where I divulged private information, even though I asked him to keep the video to himself.
-Told another woman that I was stalking him, that he only saw me to return items (a lie - we had sex and the items he referred to were never returned to me even though I asked), that I wanted o date him (another lie - never told him that), that I was crazy, that I was insane.
-I told him and showed him confidential information, and asked him not to tell or show anyone and he disclosed it to several people.
These women were all technically clients/customers of mine. I worked for OkCupid and they were users of the website.
His actions have caused me to be depressed and I even contemplated suicide because I was tired of it. I tried to forgive him and we were supposed to be okay beginning August 2015. We made a deal that he was not ready for anything serious and that he would reach out when he was ready. I reached out to him to tell him info and give him a birthday gift (which he welcomed)and this took place between August and November. I did not contact him from Nov-March. I had second thoughts about our deal because me forgiving him didn't really make sense. So I reached out in March and explained my concerns to him. He didn't respond, but he kept reading my email (I have a mailtracker) so I kept asking him to be reasonable and talk to me, since he was constantly reading the message I didn't get why he didn't just respond. In April 2016 I filed a lawsuit against my previous employer and since he was heavily involved in several incidents where my character could be called into question, I asked him to clarify some things in a one-on-one non-legal way, just to cover my bases. He refused. So I told him that I would just do it the legal way, if he wasn't going to be reasonable, and have papers sent to his job since that is the only place I know for certain he will be located at. He became hostile and told me to not contact him. And this is when I sent the C&D letter since I knew I was done and he was as well. I sent it because since he has a history of lying I wanted something in writing to ensure he would stop his hurtful tactics.
This man is unbalanced and I don't know how he is still a lawyer. He convinced me to have unprotected sex with him because he was "clean." I found out late last summer that his ex-girlfriend said he has herpes which he never told me. I have been too scared to get tested but I know I will have to. He has a fake profile on Facebook, where he is pretending to be a woman. He has admitted to doing cocaine, smoking marijuana; he has done the latter right in front of me. He is a racist and has told me on numerous occasions that he hates Jewish people (he's a self-proclaimed anti-Semite). He told me on numerous on occasions and was serious that he has never killed anyone, but he would if he could get away with it. By his own admission, he is sadistic. His ex-girlfriends say he is a sociopath.
I know this is a lot and an extremely complicated situation. What do I do?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Canada Law
Expert:  Debra replied 1 year ago.
I don't understand what legal information you need. Are you asking about what to do if you are charged with harassment? What do you want him to do? Are you asking about suing him and if so for what?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I gave you a rundown of what he did. I am asking if I have a defamation case against this man, who is a lawyer. I am wondering if I should still send the C&D letter through a lawyer even though he has already filed a police report against me. Lastly, I am wondering if the things he's done could get him in trouble since he is a lawyer. He also asked me to provide him with confidential information pertaining to the accounts of his ex girlfriends - I had access to the information and he knew it was confidential and asked me for it. He also wanted my log in information so h could see the confidential information himself.
Expert:  Debra replied 1 year ago.
If he is telling lies about you to others, rather than stating his opinion then you can sue him for defamation but first a lawyer has to send him a letter demanding he provide you with a retraction and apology. While there is no absolute requirement that a lawyer send the letter you cannot have further contact with him in any way as you will be charged with harassment if you do. What is clear is that you have contacted him many times even though he has not responded to you. Just because he is a lawyer doesn't mean he has to keep all information confidential. You and his girlfriend did not have a solicitor-client relationship with him so he had no obligation to either of you. That privilege does not extend to personal relationships.If he knew he had herpes and had sex with you that could be considered to be assault so you can speak to the lawyer about the idea of having him charged.It doesn't matter that he smokes marijuana nor does it matter that he has admitted to using cocaine. It also doesn't matter if he is a racist or anti-semite. There is no law against being a racist nor does that have anything to do with his obligations as a lawyer. It is not misconduct to be a racist. He can open any fb account he wants and pretend what he likes just like anyone can.Do you see what I mean?There is no law against him being despicable. There is a law against him telling lies about you to others and there is a law about your contacting him if it is not welcome and he has made that clear.So see a lawyer about the potential lawsuit and the potential charge of assault and do not ever have any contact with him yourself again. You are going to be the one who is going to be hurt here as you are not a lawyer and clearly don't understand the law. That is fine as you have no need to but you need to let a lawyer deal with all of this going forward. I hope that has clarified the law foryou.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I'm sorry, but why did the price climb to $79 when I was quoted for $30? I am not paying that.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Additionally, he broke the following with his antics Rule 8.4-(c) engage in conduct involving dishonesty, fraud, deceit or misrepresentation(d) engage in conduct that is prejudicial to the administration of justiceThis man filed a police report after I sent him the agreement. He was concerned about his job, according to the police. He would have no reason to be concerned if he did nothing wrong because there would be nothing I could do if his hands were clean. Even the police officer asked him repeatedly if he was sure he wanted to go through with this. The office told me that he would likely have repercussions to his actions. There are rules of conduct for lawyers and I was told by several other lawyers that I should have gone to the DA when he started doing his badmouthing to MY clients. I don't know how you can say there was no misconduct on his part when he gave my personal phone number to an enraged woman, after I repeatedly asked him to stop spreading my business, and she threatened me. Even after that he continued to spread my personal business which causes me to be depressed and contemplate suicide.
Expert:  Debra replied 1 year ago.
What he did was terrible but it is not misconduct pursuant to the rules of professional conduct because you are not his client and he can talk about you how he likes. Also, he did not want you to speak to him and you continue trying to speak to him. It is the right of any citizen to file a complaint with the police. It is the police will decide whether they should charge you or not. I have no idea what the site charges you. I am a senior practicing lawyer and I do not work for the site. Rather, I login to answer questions just the way you login to ask them. I see a list of questions and I decide which I can answer and wish I choose not to.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I think you're missing my point, though. I know what I did, but I thought he was bluffing (stupid on me). He and I have been back and forth for years. He has said numerous times he didn't want anything to do with me and to not contact him or he'd pursue legal action, only for him to turn around and change his mind. He said it in May 2014 and we had sex in November 2014. He said it in April 2015 and then HE convinced to make a deal with him that he would come back to me when he was ready. The only reason why he went through with this now is because I sent him that Cease & Desist letter laying out all the things he did to me (slander/defamation) and I told him that I didn't want him anymore. It was almost an act of revenge honestly. He was scared because he knew if he didn't do something before I officially filed, then he would be in trouble. I sent him the C&D on April 25 and he filed the report April 26. He had the "got her before she gets me" mentality. Do you see what I mean?
Expert:  Debra replied 1 year ago.
I do see what you mean.And all of that is an excellent defence if you are charged. And as I've said you have grounds to sue for defamation and possibly for having him charged with assault because of the herpes. But none of this is about professional misconduct as a lawyer. The law society does not regulate lawyers in all areas of their lives but just in the professional ones.

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