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Ulysses101, Lawyer
Category: Canada Law
Satisfied Customers: 3501
Experience:  11 years experience in Canada family law, plus criminal, civil, and employment
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My child's mother bf tried accusing me of assault saying he

Customer Question

Hello ,
My child's mother bf tried accusing me of assault saying he was beaten up by my friends . He called the police said he is fearing for his life what not . Which of this isn't true . She took him to the hospital and the doctor said the brusie on his ribs is a result of coughing to hard . I was never charged or arrested cops sd he's a douche . What can I do now since my name have been affected negativily . Also he have also threatened her life Nd sd he will kill him self ( attention seeking individual ) if she ever left him . My daughter will be born in feb I would also like to legally see my child and raise her . I do have fears and concerns regarding my baby and her boyfriend being around . Knowing that he never had a stable relationship with his stepfather . And possible hate towards my daughter seeing she was conceived while they were together , prenatal DNA test confirmed it is my child . What shall I do from here ?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Canada Law
Expert:  Ulysses101 replied 1 year ago.

Hello Shamir, thank you for the question.

This has two parts, the first is your defamation. Nobody likes to have their name smeared, but to have a case in court you need to be able to show evidence as to how the events have have have caused you loss to your reputation, your brand, or your income. What would your evidence be?

Secondly, the child hasn't been born yet so you can't seek custody of the child yet. Do you think that the child would be better off in your care than with the mother? Are you looking for custody?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Regard to the child it's more important , I don't want to take the child away I just want my equal rights to take care of her and raise her right . When she is born I think that she will put her bf as the father of the baby , keep in mind the prenatal DNA test determines that I am the biological father . What can I do from here I need help as much as I can get I have put a lot of energy and time into her to make sure she stays alive . Her bf and her family was forcing her to abort it at 5 months after we found out it is my kid I fought hard and begged her not to , after all the baby already had developed and also have a heart beat . I do not feel comfortable with my daughter around his presence . So what will my rights be what can be done in order for me to succeed .
Expert:  Ulysses101 replied 1 year ago.

There's no issue about your parental rights, Shamir. You're the father and you can prove it. She can put whoever she want on the birth documents, that doesn't change anything.

Assuming that you and mother can't work anything out, you should be getting ready to go to court as soon after the birth as you believe is necessary. But you need to think about what you want, and about the strategic implications. If the mother doesn't even put your name on the birth documents, and you have a history with her boyfriend, then it's pretty clear that you two can't get along for whatever reason. This means that getting shared custody is going to be an uphill battle (unless she agrees, and what are the odds of that?).

Similarly, I've seen a lot of fathers in your situation say that you want the child half the time, what's called "shared custody". But the same logic applies, and is in fact worse for you. I know you don't want to take the child away from the mother, but if you have a smoking gun then that's frankly easier than to get shared custody or joint custody over her objections.

So you'll need a smoking gun. Something concrete about her mental issues, or criminal activity, or documents drug/alcohol use, or being intransient. Something that would get the CAS on board and have them support you. If you don't have that, it's tough to get an infant away from the mother.

So if you're going to swing for fence here, you'll need that information from reliable third parties, and have a good plan of care yourself, what your routine for the child would be and who is helping you.

You won't be able to get an order that boyfriend not be around. I appreciate your reasons, but it's not going to happen in reality. If you have the evidence that he poses a risk of harm to the child, then you're better off seeking custody than an order for the boyfriend to stay away. I hope you can get a family lawyer on board who is good with such matters, and start getting a plan together. You won't get far doing an affidavit saying "boyfriend is a jerk", that isn't direct evidence as to why the child is better off with you than with mother.

Does that make sense? Please reply with question or comment, I'll be here.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
What's the best way to get joint custody ? Honestly I just want to take care of her I want her to get both love from mother and father . She have smoked weed before , but I don't know if she will when the baby is born . The bf have told my neighbour that he tried committing suicide before he have also threatened her that he will kill himself if he ever leaves her etc. I know he smokes weed and drinks excessively . They live 2 houses down . He also have caused harm to him self previously I have emails from her saying what he did to him self and where she had to take him to the hospital. Previously we had agreements on good terms . But since then her bf and family putting nonsense into her head and now she is completely agasint me .
Expert:  Ulysses101 replied 1 year ago.

Custody is about decision making authority over the child, it has very little to do with the time-sharing schedule.

The best way to get joint custody is to get mom to agree to it. If you two are at each other's throats then it's less likely that you'll get joint custody, right? Evidence of ongoing conflict goes against joint custody because if the parents can't get along then forcing them to have to discuss and agree on the children's issues is bad for the child.

That's why I said it's easier to get custody if you have the evidence than it is to get joint or shared custody if mom doesn't agree.

The obvious next move is to involve the child welfare authorities because of your concerns regarding boyfriend. But when the social workers come over mom will assume that you called, even if you didn't. So make sure you know what will happen if they look into him, and that means looking into him first yourself. Another reason why getting a lawyer now is a good idea.

Anything else?

Expert:  Ulysses101 replied 1 year ago.

Hello Shamir, did we cover all the issues? If so then may I ask you again for a positive service rating please? That's how I get credit from the site for helping you today.

Expert:  Ulysses101 replied 1 year ago.

I know that this is a complicated situation. I'm here if you want to discuss it any further. I won't pester you. If you made a deposit to the site, don't forget that it's still there.


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