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You have quite a few questions so I will try to answer them all. That being said, I will also Offer Additional Service of a phone call, as it may be easier for us to have a phone discussion.
1) If your son is caught breaching, he almost certainly will be arrested for Failure to Comply (recognizance). If you are his surety, you won't be arrested, but you risk having any and all money you posted (or pledged) for bail forfeited. However, if you go to the courthouse and advise them that you wish to pull the bail and be removed as surety, you will no longer be responsible for your son, and he will be re-arrested though likely not charged with further offences since the bail is effectively being revoked at your option.
2) You have no obligation to pick him up right away, or at all for that matter. You aren't legally required- even as parents- to act as your son's surety. Alternatively, you can agree to act as his surety and make one of the conditions of bail that he attend counseling, failing which you can remove yourself as surety and he'll be re-arrested.
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