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I am a federal employee who is separated with an 8 year old.

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When we separated we agreed...
I am a federal employee who is separated with an 8 year old. When we separated we agreed on no alimony, no child support, no pension pay out. However, he was to pay 50% of her sports, which he has not. I have not pushed the issue. He takes her when I go to work (I work straight nights, so I drop her off on my way to work and pick her up on my way home). He believes he has her 50% of the time when in fact he only has her during my working hours. Do I have the right to move within the province or within Canada if my job moves?
Submitted: 2 years ago.Category: Canada Law
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Customer reply replied 2 years ago
He claims he has her 50% of the time, however, I drop her off on my way to work and pick her up on my way home. He does have her for 2 full days on the weekends I work. He has no responsibility in her lunches, her school activities, her field trips...nothing....yet he feels he has her 50% of the time.
Answered in 24 minutes by:
9/8/2015
Lawyer: Debra, Lawyer replied 2 years ago
Debra
Debra, Lawyer
Category: Canada Law
Satisfied Customers: 101,806
Experience: Lawyer
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You do not have the right to move your child out of the juridstiction. To be able to move your child out of the juridstiction you need the father's consent, or else a court order.

You would have to prove to the court that moving the child is in the child's best interest. Given how closely involved the father is with the child's live it is not likely that a court would see that the move is in your child's best interests.

I suggest that as a next step you have a face to face consultation with the most experienced family lawyer you can afford. You should make sure that the lawyer is experienced in "mobility rights."

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Customer reply replied 2 years ago
I understand he is involved in my daughters life, however, I have talked to him about the opportunities of us both moving. He does not have a secure job, no pension plan...nothing. He will not take her outside of my work schedule. He is involved but not 50% and not willingly,...only obligated. I make triple the amount he does...I have a secure job etc...he is a painter...no security..nothing..I am obligated to keep my job here because he refuses to move due to his social life?
Lawyer: Debra, Lawyer replied 2 years ago

You do not have to try to convince me. I understand how you feel, but I just want you to understand that the court will not consider that you earn more money than the father. You will have to show that living in a new jurisdiction will be better for your child than living close by her father.

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Customer reply replied 2 years ago
I wouldn't willingly just up and move my daughter because she does have a relatiohship with him but if my job is moving...he has no job security here...he can easily move with us but if he chooses not to based on his social life....that stands ground?? Where does continuing to provide the same quality of life, if not more, stand with my daughter? I have offered to pay for his move etc....I have offered to move his partner etc....that leaves me continuing to live unhappily based on his social life???
Lawyer: Debra, Lawyer replied 2 years ago

This all makes your case stronger.

So see a family lawyer as I suggested and see what you can do.

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Customer reply replied 2 years ago
OK....any words of wisdom in what I should be documenting etc??
Customer reply replied 2 years ago
I've even offered to house him and his lover...why does my life have to revolve around his social life? I don't understand our system
Lawyer: Debra, Lawyer replied 2 years ago

Essentially document what happens on a weekly basis in terms of who has the child when and for what reason.

And document when the father doesn't want her and refuses her and when he doesn't want her but takes her under duress.

The system doesn't care about you or the father. The law is exceedingly clear and the court may only consider the best interests of the child.

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Customer reply replied 2 years ago
Another question I have is, my daughter's grandmother is visiting right now. He just moved in with his "partner", which is great...however, in the closet...they moved in to a 2 bedroom apartment. My 8 year old daughter is now sleeping in the same bed with her father and the grandmother is sleeping in another bed within the same room....the lover is sleeping in the second bedroom. I am not personally concerned, although school starts tomorrow and she has complained the last couple nights that she has been at her fathers about the snoring. Does the sleeping situation sound ok?? She is 8, sleeping with her father in the same bed and her grandmother in another bed within the same room...
Lawyer: Debra, Lawyer replied 2 years ago

It is fine. No court will care about that.

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Customer reply replied 2 years ago
Really? An 8 year old girl sleeping in the same bed as a male and another adult?
Customer reply replied 2 years ago
I don't think it is, by any means sexual, but morally....just doesn't seem right
Lawyer: Debra, Lawyer replied 2 years ago

But the court will not care. Judges don't care about this.

And it is certainly not grounds for your being able to move the child away.

It is important that you try and focus on the bigger picture than bring in details like this that will simply make the court think you are trying to make the father look bad.

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Customer reply replied 2 years ago
Yeah, that is not something that I would use to move my child away...just a little concern in the meantime. Like I said, I wouldn't willingly move her away but in the best interest of my career it could possibly be a great move. I'm not trying to belittle him etc....he just isn't willing to be more involved than what he has to be. It is in our separation agreement that he is to pay 50% of her sports and he doesn't contribute at all for the more part. He sometimes gives me $50 every 3 or 4 months, which is greatly appreciated, however....I just paid out almost $1000.00 for her summer/fall sports and he hasn't offered a cent. My main concern is the interes in our daughter just isn't there. Do I need to take him to court to get him to pay his share?? He just isn't stepping up to the plate as a parent should.
Lawyer: Debra, Lawyer replied 2 years ago

Yes you can take him to court to require him to pay what he must pay for extraordinary expenses.

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Customer reply replied 2 years ago
basically a separation agreement sets some "boundaries", however, they clearly don't need to be enforced....pretty much just a money making scheme...so sad.. money well earned needs to be reinvested in something that has already cost money to determine
Lawyer: Debra, Lawyer replied 2 years ago

A separation can be enforced through the court and then once that happens it has the same force and effect as an order.

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Customer reply replied 2 years ago
basically, it doesn't matter that he doesn't have a secure job and doesn't matter what we have in our separation agreement...when all is said and done....I need to take him to court to make any decisions as far as my daughter is concerned even though I am the primary parent, I am the supporting parent....she is only with him during my work hours....not to put him down, however, he doesn't help financially, he doesn't take her outside his "obligated" timings etc?
Lawyer: Debra, Lawyer replied 2 years ago

The law is that financial matters are not relevant and that your having sole custody isn't enough. You need permission of the court and as an experienced family lawyer I am being honest and saying it is not going to be easy to get this. I didn't say it's impossible and you have a lot going for you but it is going to be hard.

So you can afford a top lawyer and that is really whom you should be retaining.

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Customer reply replied 2 years ago
It's not that I am planning on moving, I would just like to know that if I choose to do so I have that opportunity. I do make a decent income however, I do have a huge mortgage and sportsto pay. I want to provide a decent upbringing for my daughter. I have no assistance in her day to day living let alone activities.
Lawyer: Debra, Lawyer replied 2 years ago

Ok, well I certainly hope this can be worked out, and my heart really goes out to you.

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Customer reply replied 2 years ago
It's not hell, however I just want to know where I stand. I wouldn't willingly uproot my daughter if need be. I was just curious to know what my rights are. Clearly, there are no rights. Separation agreements are just pieces of paper...our system is very sad. Thank you for your time
Lawyer: Debra, Lawyer replied 2 years ago

I wish you the best of luck, you are very welcome.

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Customer reply replied 2 years ago
One last question, so regardless of what the separation agreement says, I cannot enfoce anything in it without a direct order from a judge? It's really quite a useless piece of paper? Honest opinion please!
Lawyer: Debra, Lawyer replied 2 years ago

Separation agreements are actually vital because they can be enforced very easily. You simply apply to the court to enforce the agreement and nothing more needs to be done and it becomes the site as if it were a court order. Had you not obtained a separation agreement you would have had to gone through a full trial which could have taken and cost literally hundreds of thousands of dollars. Now you simply need to bring an application to the court to enforce the agreement, which the court will enforce without question.

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Customer reply replied 2 years ago
Thank you again
Lawyer: Debra, Lawyer replied 2 years ago

You are very welcome.

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