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Debra, Lawyer
Category: Canada Law
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Experience:  Lawyer
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Advice needed, heres the situation: Son, 69, lives with

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Advice needed, here's the situation:

Son, 69, lives with 92 year old mother (Mt). Joint owner of Mt's's house. They have a joint bank account. Mt's pensions are deposited to this account. Mt still can manage the account(s), pays all house expense on auto-debit. Son has no income, has lived with Mt since her spouse was kicked out, spouse has passed away, had no claim to any of Mt's assets. Son has his own house (run down shack), goes there to play with a computer grave yard (weird). Mt pays all house expenses on this property as well. Son has a personality problem, childish progressive-aggressive personality disorder see Wakipedia. Son recentlybeen in trouble with the local pastor, broke a court order to stay away from the church (was being a pest, likes to rant). Currently on a peace bond. When Mt was admitted to hospital for a medical problem (which keeps flaring up), she was assessed as being capable of making her own decisions, however she forgets. Mt qualified for extended care, signed a contract, but walked out of the hospital before being moved. This is the third time it has happened. The son encourages her to go/stay at home, son will not co-operate with any of the family,care givers, doctor or hospital staff (can't sit still for 20 seconds), he is not a nurse (Mt med problems have to do with her ability to wash/monitor her problem). he problem is that her pensions have to move with her when she goes to extended care, she can afford to go there. The other members of the family will not help until she commits herself to be there. She won't commit to any P of E, personal directives and the like. Being that she can make her own decisions, the son has access to her funds makes it difficult for any of the family to do anything for Mt when someone says "Why don't you guys do something?" Need help to somehow separate the good from the bad without making things any worse than they are. Son will not co-operate, will not accept an invitation to any family meeting. There has to be a bit of crack somewhere, running out of time.
Thank you for your question. My name is XXXXX XXXXX my goal is to provide you with the best possible answer.

To achieve that goal it may be that I will find that I need to gather further information from you. As well, it's quite possible that you may feel the need to ask me additional questions for further clarification.

But, please understand that as a careful lawyer I will always give you an honest answer even if the answer is sometimes not what you were hoping for.

If the mother is mentally competent she is free to live where she wants and do what she wants with her money.

At the same time as she is getting older she may be more prone to being being manipulated by undue pressure being exerted on her by this son.

So if there is a concern that this is what is happening (and really this is elder abuse then) it may be that your next step could be to have a lawyer send the son a letter demanding he cease and desist taking advantage of the mother and perhaps even threatening a lawsuit.

But if the mother is truly acting on her own volition then there is really nothing you can do even if you can see this is not in her best interests.

You can contact the Law Society and use their Lawyer Referral Service. You will be given the name of a lawyer and can consult with the lawyer and the first half hour will be free.

The number is:

1-800-661-1095 or
403-228-1722 in Calgary
Debra and other Canada Law Specialists are ready to help you

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