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hello on behalf of my girlfriend we are dealing with a sick

minded confused ex of hers...
hello on behalf of my girlfriend we are dealing with a sick minded confused ex of hers which they have a 5 year old child not six months ago courts changed order from supervised visits only to unsupervised and the father now has them aswell as overnight visits everyother weeks end this past week he filed for sole custody saying mom is unfit haha thats not the case atall shes very strong mother for one for having to put up with him and his cheating and past drug abuse..also aprox 5 months ago the father stood up infront of judge say, that i as step dad mights as well adopt the 5 years old.how quickly minds change i think thats very sick for a father to say to start ..the boy dosnt know his dad he wasnt around and didnt spend much time with the child for first 5 years of his life,also child dosnt ever want to go see his dad ( dont blame the little boy hes basically leaving home with a stranger)what can we do where to find whats best for this child, how can this father be removed from his life until he is old enough to decide on his own ?? its truely damaging this boy i really hope not for life but it is scary and selfish please contact me with any advice also im in British Columbia Canada thanx so so much for your time for my love of my step son Mike
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Answered in 9 minutes by:
6/6/2013
Debra
Debra, Lawyer
Category: Canada Law
Satisfied Customers: 102,543
Experience: Lawyer
Verified
Thank you for your question.

Before I begin I want to explain a bit about how the site works.

It may be that I will find that I need to gather further information from you. As well, it's quite possible that you may feel the need to ask me additional questions for further clarification.Please do not worry that you will be charged additionally if I ask you questions or if you need to ask me questions. That is not at all how the site works.

As well, please understand that as a careful lawyer I will always give you an honest answer even if the answer is sometimes not what you were hoping for.

Finally, as we go through the process please do not feel rushed if I ask you a question. You are always free to take your time to gather more information before you post back. As well, please understand that even after you rate me the post will not lock and you could always come back for further clarification if you think of something a bit later on down the road.

I am sorry to hear of this very difficult situation.

First, if there has not been a material change of circumstances then the father does not have the right to return to Court to vary the Order.

So the mother should first fight this on that basis.

As well, if this does go ahead the other can ask for an order appointing for an independent custody/access assessment.

This would mean that a psychologist who would get to know the child and all of you and then make a report for the Court to rely on.

The psychologist will see how Mike does not know his father, how the father does not treat him properly etc and how the mother does.

I think that's likely the best way to go if this does go forward.

Let me know if you need any further clarification.
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Customer reply replied 4 years ago


hello first i maybe wrote the wrong my name (step dad is Mike ) not child but anyways their was a divorce paper was filed he filed it but not completing it and also jus a week or so ago my gf served the father with changes to access and it has been since then he filed for sole custody.. as of now my girlfriend has sole custody with dual gardeinship..we are thinking because she served him with changes to access he decided to try to bite back bigger , me as a step dad and my gf as mom are very concerned on what the child is being asked told on his visits the child is confused and not focused atall when he is returned from the father .are u in canada and do these answers pertain to british columbia canada law

Yes I am in Canada. The site is based in the US but there are lawyers from all over and your question is on the Canada law list.

I am a family lawyer.

The more I hear the more I think this is an ideal case for getting a professional to do the assessment.

Children need consistency and they also need to be left out of the battles between the parents. An expert will see it's in the child's best interests to simply have some access with the father.

I realize now you were signing your name at the end. Sorry Mike, I should have realize that!
Debra
Debra, Lawyer
Category: Canada Law
Satisfied Customers: 102,543
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Customer reply replied 4 years ago


k so im back at sqaure 1 i thought i was doin jus that getting advice ya this case is a bit more then jus custody but would u recommend taking case to supreme court to hopfully get it finalized ??we also believe that the fathers girlfriend has a lot to do with this, she we believe is confused on life..so back to professional assessment would the child have to go through all the questions aswell the poor little boy has seen enough he being simply hurt bad because of the father and is it possible to serve papers to have him removed from any rights for child

I don't see why you are back at square one.

I wasn't suggesting getting advice.

I am suggesting getting a court order for a psychologist to do an full custody/access assessment. The psychologist will spend hours with your step-son and with your and his mother and with the father and will see what is going on. This type of psychologist is trained to find the truth even when a father like this lies.

And in this day and age Judges don't see children any more so it's a way for this small child's voice to be heard in a safe place.

But the child will not be questioned. A psychologist knows how to treat kids. So he may end up playing some board games with the him/her. Perhaps they will do some painting together and all this time there will be some gentle chatting and soon things will come out.

Your step son will find this to be a positive, fun situation and totally not threatening.

I don't know why you would want to move this case to Supreme Court. I don't see what the benefit is.

A Court order from this Court is binding and will protect the child.
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Customer reply replied 4 years ago


ok the only reason we were thinking supreme coourt is because my gf spoke to a lawyer today and she kinda sujested it maybe partly because the judge is known as hard he jus keeps saying see u in 3 moths to go over again but yes that makes sence jus to order that in court.. so am i able to ask you more in future in regards to this chat how long is the fee i payed good for


 

I don't work for the site but from what I can see you at least have one month I would think. I am not too sure though.

And thanks very much for the rating.

Please take the time to participate in the customer satisfaction survey as that will go into my record with the site.You will be sent an email with the survey in a couple of days.

And feel free to keep my name in case you need me again down the road. You can always put my name into the subject line the next time you post so that your question will stand out for me and I will answer it just as soon as I can.

Thanks and take good care!
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Debra
Debra
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