Hi, This is the email that we jsut received from my fiance…

Then, yes, the mother can try to impose these terms. The father would also not be out of line in trying to impose other terms, such as saying that he will only agree to a different return time.

The problem here is that if the court order is general, with no specific times, both parents can try to dictate terms to the other. This can lead to back and forth tug of wars. When that happens, usually the person with custody will win out only because they have the child with them and so if they say there is no agreement for a particular weekend as to the exact times or place of exchanging the children, then they just do nothing, and no access takes place that weekend.

I would not recommend trying to just unilaterally change any plans, such as saying agreeing to her terms, getting the child, and then emailing her to tel her that you will only be dropping of the child at some other time or place. That would not be violating a court order to do that, as the order has no set time for exchange, but a court will still view that negatively.

The only recourse is to go back to the court and ask to have either a set schedule of times and exchange places, so that there is not disagreement or the mother dictating terms, or ask the court to allow the father to set the terms each weekend, providing some adequate notice to the mother. So for example he would be allowed to send an email by no later than Wednesday in each week specifying when and where the exchanges will take place. Probably a court would rather set the schedule itself, even though this takes away any possibility for flexibility for when different plans may arise. But if there has been conflict about the exact times, the court will be reluctant to give either parent the right to set the times week by week, and will probably say that to remove the conflict there will be a fixed schedule.