DEBRA!! Case #XXXXX: Mother has now started advising the children…

Question

DEBRA!! Case #XXXXX: Mother has now started advising the children that the
access arrangements (that the kids have been accustomed to for the last few
years) will be changing as of next month!? We haven't even gone to Court yet!!?

Debra · Accepted Answer

Debra Thal (username) :

I am about to pack up the car to drive to the airport (sigh).

Debra Thal (username) :

So I cannot really chat now. I am just waiting for my son to finish his
breakfast.

Debra Thal (username) :

But clearly this is just another example to add to the list of how she acts and
how little she considers the children's welfare.

Customer:

Oh, I'm so sorry!! No worries, just give me a shout when you are back and
settled! No rush, just want to pick you brain :P

Customer:

Have a safe flight too :)

Debra Thal (username) :

Thanks.

Debra Thal (username) :

Can you actually reply back to this late in the early evening. That will bring
this question back to my open list then?

Debra Thal (username) :

But don't reply back now!

Customer:

Hey Debra! Sorry I couldn't continue our conversation last night, but I'm here
now whenever you're around :)

Debra Thal (username) :

I am around now.

Debra Thal (username) :

Just post when you are free.

Customer:

I'm here!

Debra Thal (username) :

Hi!

Debra Thal (username) :

I am back at my desk, no more pool, so ask away.

Customer:

That sucks... but I'm not going to lie, I'm glad you're back!

Debra Thal (username) :

You and my mother.

Customer:

Awwww... too sweet!

Customer:

So yes, this is one of the new developments with case #XXXXX This poor kid was
crying at the thought that time with us would be cut back to 2 weekends a month
:(

Debra Thal (username) :

Well that is horrible but good evidence that she is bringing the kids into this
and the crying shows what the child wants.

Customer:

The child was so upset Debra, it broke our hearts. Initially when the
conversation began, she said "Mommy said that after Court in May, we will only
be here every other weekend." I was shocked and tried explaining that it wasn't
really fair to be telling her stuff like that before we had even gone to Court,
because we don't know what the Judge will decide. She then told me "Well, the
government ALWAYS favours women, so Mommy says it will be happening."

Customer:

!?!??!!!

Debra Thal (username) :

Well, there is no doubt that Judge will believe you when you state this sentence
as the child cannot be making that up.

Customer:

I was completely taken aback by a young child making a statement like that,
which were clearly the words of an adult. I advised her that that was not how
things worked. She started to get a little upset, so I stopped and asked her to
come and sit with me. She did, and I held her hands and asked her how she felt
if that were to happen. She started crying, and I was trying to explain to her
that she shouldn't be involved in these kinds of talks. That she shouldn't even
be aware that anybody is in Court! But also, that it wasn't in any way her fault
that people talk to her about these things, that is something she can't control.

Debra Thal (username) :

And good, let the mother think this.

Debra Thal (username) :

Poor thing.

Debra Thal (username) :

How terrible.

Debra Thal (username) :

Make detailed notes about this conversation and the tears.

Customer:

It's so awful, she is involved in every aspect of these adult situations and she
should not be.

Customer:

I will

Debra Thal (username) :

No she should not and the Judge will agree. It is another example of her totally
over-looking the needs and interests of the child.

Customer:

Exactly, we were trying to to explain that to her and even telling her that we
didn't even feel right talking to her about it in that capacity. But we had to
in order to explain that she is being fear mongered in a sense :S

Debra Thal (username) :

I agree.

Debra Thal (username) :

So you can tell her that she is a child and this is for adults to discuss and
that she does not need to worry

Customer:

That's exactly what we told her, and have had to tell her countless times before
sadly :S

Customer:

I also had another question regarding submitting a t-4. Does it need to be
served to the other party as well, or just the Court?

Debra Thal (username) :

Can you start that on another post as it's not really related to this question?

Don't forget to put my name into the subject line!

I will answer right away.

Customer:

Surely! See you in a second, and thanks for the help on this one!

DEBRA!! Case #XXXXX: Mother has now started advising the children…

How JustAnswer works

JustAnswer in the News:

What Customers are Saying:

Meet the Experts: