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I have a final separation agreement in place with my ex; however…

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I have a final separation...

I have a final separation agreement in place with my ex; however I no longer retain my my lawyer so to get clarificcation I thought I would come on and ask. The agreement states he is to have access every other weekend of our 19 month old daughter, as well as equal time spent with both parents over the Christmas holidays. There is also clause that reads that he is to have reasonable additional access during times where he is home for his school breaks. He is still a student in another town and rarely comes up every second weekend. He said he is coming home on the 17th of december. That is his scheduled weekend and so I told him he could still pick her up but that, despite the fact that she is not in school yet, she does go to different activities and daycares that follow the local school boards schedule. Therefore I told him that the Christmas holidays fall between Dec. 23 to Jan. 9 and that the extra week that he is home falls under the clause that enables him to see her on HIS extra school holidays. As such I told him that he could pick her up one evering that week until the follwing evening. I divided the rest of the time during the actual holidays according to the agreement. He accused me of following my own christmas holiday schedule as I am a teacher myself. However I explained that I am a substitute at the moment and therefore the school holiday schedule does not necessarily dictate my schedule as I can refuse to work any day I wish if I would like to spend more time with her. Furthermore, when we were together, he knew full well that I, in part, chose teaching because it would give me the same holidays as my children. My question then, am I right to only divide the Christmas holidays accordingly and the fact that he is done school a week earlier falls under the agreed unpon clause that he is to have reasonably more access upon His school holidays?

Submitted: 11 years ago.Category: Canada Law

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Answered in 12 minutes by:

12/11/2011

Lawyer: Debra, Lawyer replied 11 years ago

Debra, Lawyer

Category: Canada Law

Satisfied Customers: 148,277

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Debra Thal (username) :

There is no clear answer.

Debra Thal (username) :

But if he is to see her more when he is on his holidays I don't see how one day and night would be reasonable additional access.

Debra Thal (username) :

As he can barely see her most of the time it would seem your agreement is meant to address this by giving him the chance to see her more on the occasions when he is in town for his school breaks.

Debra Thal (username) :

If this went to Court the Court would consider your intentions in coming to the agreement and what is best for the child.

Debra Thal (username) :

So you should consider those test in trying and figuring out how to work this out.

Debra Thal (username) :

It's hard to see how a Court would say it's reasonable for her to be in day care than with her father when he is home for his school break.

Debra Thal (username) :

But I don't know all the facts of course.

JACUSTOMER-gaw2da8e- :

She doesn't go to daycre for the day, I take her to the YMCA because of programs that they run...it's happens that the YMCA also runs a daycare. Am I supposed to just go by His schedule every year until she starts school? It will be different every year. Isn't it better to follow the schedule set out by her activities.

Debra Thal (username) :

I don't know what's better.

Debra Thal (username) :

But one solution would be to have him take her to these activities.

JACUSTOMER-gaw2da8e- :

Myself I find it hard to believe that he wants to see her more...I know it is his parents pushing him...Since he left from school I haven't seen him. He has never once picked her up or dropped her off. It is alwas his parents. He doesn't even let me know when he is not coming to town

Debra Thal (username) :

I just doubt a Court would say that a 19 month is better off sticking to activities than seeing her father.

Debra Thal (username) :

Does your agreement have a dispute mechanism set out?

Debra Thal (username) :

Also one day during his week home will not be considered reasonable I don't think.

JACUSTOMER-gaw2da8e- :

Since I don't know what that is I am going to say no

Debra Thal (username) :

Does it say that if there is a problem you should use a mediator, for example.

JACUSTOMER-gaw2da8e- :

I gave him tuesday afternoon until wednesday evening during his week home. As he will have just had her that weekend and two three days later is christmas. No it does not say that

JACUSTOMER-gaw2da8e- :

no it does not say anything about a mediator

Debra Thal (username) :

So all I can say is that it's clearly best to try and resolve this so that he doesn't drag you into Court.

Debra Thal (username) :

I don't know what a Court would do but I've set out what I see is how the Court would likely look at this.

Debra Thal (username) :

But nothing is black and white in family law of course.

JACUSTOMER-gaw2da8e- :

I worry that if I give in this year, because she doesn't officially start school for another two years, next year he will come back and give me a completely different holiday schedule that might last four weeks next time and just expect me to accept it

JACUSTOMER-gaw2da8e- :

what is the acceptable christmas holiday if a child is not yet in school?

Debra Thal (username) :

But when she is in school she won't miss school. He would see her after school.

Debra Thal (username) :

And he will not be in school forever iether.

Debra Thal (username) :

It's not clear when the Christmas holiday is in this case.

Debra Thal (username) :

There is not one right answer here.

Debra Thal (username) :

I wish I could offer one though.

Debra Thal (username) :

I do have to stopping chat for now. I have a commitment for 6:30 and I am really late but I will check back again later if you still need me,

JACUSTOMER-gaw2da8e- :

ok thank you

Debra Thal (username) :

I am back now if you still need me.

Debra Thal (username) :

Sorry about that but it's Sunday.

Debra Thal (username) :

I should be online for a few hours now and then again tomorrow.

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