My father was remarried for the 4th time to a woman for 14…

My father was remarried for the 4th time to a woman for 14 years before his passing March 29, 2011. (She was his first cousin). As the oldest child, I was his personal director for hospital care and the administrator of his will. The title to the property was "joint tenancy". The handwritten will, written before their marriage, left his current and only farm home and everything associated with it, to his 4th and current wife. All bank accounts were also “joint” and willed to her. He left a parcel of farm land (where we eventually spread his ashes on June 27, 2011 and which she did not attend) to his four biological children. This land was sold long before his death and became part of the bank account. During the 12 months of his chemotherapy and various medical appointments for Multiple Myeloma and Kidney Failure, Dad and his wife resided 3-4 days per week at my home and then returned to their farm until the next week/treatment. I was self employed and unable to work during this time which resulted in lost commissions of approximately $15,000.00. During this final chapter of his life, his four children came to his aid each week during his treatment. This necessitated long distance travel and time off work, followed by his palliative care, where we resided in a hotel beside the hospital as well as within the palliative care room, for a total of 56 days (Feb 4 – Mar 29, 2011) before his passing. (His wife is a hoarder and there was no room in the home) All costs associated with travel, lodging, food, various personal care items for our father, lost income and eventually, several funeral expenses including hotel accommodation, flowers, etc.) were borne by his children with no financial compensation. There was one exception. Upon request, she did give one of my siblings who survives on AISH assistance, $750.00 to assist with her share of hotel expenses.

The day after Dad’s death, we met to read his Will. His wife advised us that although it was not stated in the will, she and Dad had talked before his death. Dad wanted her to sell 60 of the 160 acres of their current farmland, valued at approximately $1,000/acre to be distributed evenly among his 4 biological children. He wanted the remainder to go to her and she could then provide for her children in her own will. She stated (on videotape) that personally, she felt the land should be divided in 1/2 with 80 acres going to his children and 80 going to her.

In May 2011, she called my sister who resides 4 hours away and accused her of stealing horse tack from one of the buildings on the farmland, which was completely unfounded. This has created hard feelings within the family. During Dad’s illness and palliative care, we witnessed and were the target of many of these types of unsubstantiated accusations and outbursts. For our Dad’s peace of mind, we took the high road by making excuses for her absence or her outbursts etc.
In August 2011, she withdrew $25,000.00 held in a GIC, from the sale of the property Dad had originally willed to us. She deducted his funeral expenses $7,000.00 and the $750.00 above mentioned for hotel expenses, and divided up the balance between Dad’s 4 children and grandchildren. We feel she made this gesture to pacify us and not have to worry about us expecting anything further. She has not initiated any contact since. My phone calls and letters go unanswered.

Dad was a man of his word. On many occasions he told us that everything would go to his wife so that she would not have to move, but upon her death, if not before, he wanted the property to be divided between her 3 children and his 4 children. As he was lying in palliative care, he asked us to look for a lake property that he could purchase for us, so that we would all have a place to reunite as a family.

What she has inherited is an accumulation of a man and his family’s life work. He owned 2 homes where his 4 children were raised, before purchasing the 1st of 4 farms. The first farm was our home for 10 years. It was built from the ground up, as were all the others that followed. The next 2 farms were built during his life transitions. His children were there , including a time during his heart attack, to erect farm buildings, landscaping, fencing etc. On the last farm Dad’s children were there to help build fences, move cattle, repair equipment, build garages, shingle roofs etc. His accumulated assets over the years were made possible by the assistance provided by his children, who will never see any inheritance. Dad truly believed that his wife would do the right thing. We loved our Dad and were devoted to him until the very end, sometimes at great personal sacrifice. We feel that his wife will never follow through on our Dad’s wishes. Her actions or inactions, her accusations and absence from our lives indicate otherwise. We need to know if you feel there is reason to pursue this further or if you feel there are grounds to contest?