Dear XXXXX;Hope you are keeping well. I had mentioned that…

Question

Since i have been working with Debra for a while, i will hold until she is available for now. Thanks, don

Dear XXXXX; Hope you are keeping well. I had mentioned that I would start a new process then I needed yor advice. Since you are aware that I am starting the self-representation process, it is abviously a daunting task. My wife's counsel is scheduling a motion of which I have no idea what it is, however I believe it will be for support. They are trying to strong arm me by moving up the motion date after it was confirmed for May 25th. My question is: How do I legally get an ajournment requested. What form number to i use? Also if it is a motion for marital support, how do I respond to it, what form etc do I use and is there any other form that needs to go with it. i.e. affidavit etc. Thanks so much, Don

Debra · Accepted Answer

Debra Thal (username) :

I am available.

Debra Thal (username) :

Your post is a bit hard to read.

Debra Thal (username) :

It's all in bold and there are some weird formatting things going on.

Debra Thal (username) :

Could you copy and paste the question again?

Debra Thal (username) :

It's OK.

Debra Thal (username) :

I actually managed to figure it out.

Debra Thal (username) :

Can you remind me of your province so I don't have to find your old posts and
review them.

Debra Thal (username) :

Thanks

Customer:

Ontario

Debra Thal (username) :

I thought so.

Do you have "bold" set on your computer?

Debra Thal (username) :

You are still typing in bold and for some reason on my screen the letters look a
bit glaring for some odd reason!

Debra Thal (username) :

Have you asked the lawyer for an adjournment?

As I recall you did and you were told no unless you agreed to pay support, was
that it?

Customer:

Sorry, No they are scheduling a motion and I need more time to prepare. I
believe they are just trying to srtong arm me. I need to know formally how to
rechedul etc. She seems to be trying to get me to move on this because I am
self-representing. I need mor time to prepare and get my files back for my
lawyer which he refuses to do. I am addressing that issue separately.

Customer:

Another thing I was just informed about. There was an endorsement to pay my wife
$20,000 in interim disbursements whic from down from the $60,000 she was asking
for. I also received a cost endoresment just now to pay $4,000. i want to appeal
that cost for I feel her lawyer is just padding the cost for that one motion. My
wife owes her about $8,000 for the past year and I feel the $4,000 is just
padding to try to help her out. The other question now is how do i appeal this
and what form do i use. Don

Debra Thal (username) :

So tell the lawyer just that.

Indicate that you would have no choice but to seek an adjournment and that you
need a reasonable amount otf time to prepare and that you do not even have your
files back.

You can say that she knows a Court would grant the adjournment so there is no
point in costing her client extra legal fees.

Debra Thal (username) :

I am just reading the other post.

Debra Thal (username) :

I have to take a one minute break first.\

Debra Thal (username) :

I am back.

Debra Thal (username) :

Are you saying the cost was assessed by an assessment officer and if so did you
defend this?

Customer:

Alonng with this as i mentioned, the house has a serious mouse infestation and
had to get an appraisal and I personnly undertook and inspection on my own that
was not ordered. They of course want to do their own which I have no problem
with. My wife's lawyer wantes me to deal with my wife on this isssue and I
refuse to do so for two reasons. She was very abusive in the marriage which is a
separate issue and it is not my concersn that according to the lawyer she is
trying to save on leage bills. My answer toe the lawyer is that I will only work
with her since she is my wife;s leage counsel and will not deal with my wife
until she self-represents herself. How do I ensure that i only deal with my
wife's counsel/

Debra Thal (username) :

Don't respond to your wife in any way/.

Debra Thal (username) :

If she does get you simply say have your lawyer deal with me.

Customer:

The cost assessment endorsement was as a result of the motion for interim
disbursements. I now got the costs endorsement and feel it is way excessive and
want to appeal it. How do i do that?

Debra Thal (username) :

So the judge set the costs then?

Customer:

I know we are a few questions behind. I am attaching the email from the lawyer
saying that I should deal with my wife. I want to be adament about not wanting
to deal with her.

Debra Thal (username) :

I actually am not permitted to review documents.

Debra Thal (username) :

The reason why is that I can only provide legal information.\

Debra Thal (username) :

I cannot practice law online.

Debra Thal (username) :

I need to be careful about that.

Debra Thal (username) :

So I address the law generally but cannot go into specific details.

Customer:

I understand that and i want to be sure that I can only deal with the lawyer as
you said. Should I just keep telling the lawyer that I want to dealw ith her
only.?

Debra Thal (username) :

Yes.

It's totally acceptable to do that.

You can say that you are self-representing and so she must deal with you and
that you and your spouse cannot communicate and you will only communicate
through the lawyer.\

Debra Thal (username) :

While it's fine for spouses to deal with certain issues you cannot be compelled
to do so.

Debra Thal (username) :

And this will work to your advantage as the lawyer has to keep fees down but you
no longer do.

Customer:

If this helps. the lawyer is saying that dealing with my wife is a reasonable
course of action and certainly considered a proper legal channel. I do not want
to deal with my wife, period for what I feel are legal responsibilities
regarding anything and particularly for the inspection of the house for there
will be real estate law involved here. And the other insult was the reason she
gave to try to save laweyer's fees. Also my wife has continued to be abusive and
I do not want to deal with her. I just want to make sure I can insist on dealing
with the lawter only.

Customer:

Sorry I just got your answer on that and what you are telling me is that I just
keep insisting on dealing with the lawyer. Could you kindly go back an review my
other questions for they are the most important ones. The ones at the beginning.

Debra Thal (username) :

I believe I answered them but you missed seeing the posts.

Debra Thal (username) :

Let's both reread everything and see what's missing.

Debra Thal (username) :

Indicate that you would have no choice but to seek an adjournment and that you
need a reasonable amount otf time to prepare and that you do not even have your
files back.

You can say that she knows a Court would grant the adjournment so there is no
point in costing her client extra legal fees.

Debra Thal (username) :

So the judge set the costs then?

Debra Thal (username) :

That is my answer for the first question and my question about the second.

Customer:

The questions werw about the procedure and form need to appeal the costs and yes
the judge set the cost which is absurdly high. The other questions were
regarding the procedure and forms I use if the motion is for spousal support.
How do I respond and with what forms.

Customer:

They have also just emailed me to confirm the date of April 20th when I had
already confirmed and acknowleged their choice of date and my acceptance of May
25th. I want to be able to stay firm on that. She is also just trying to
innundate me with paper

Debra Thal (username) :

Appealing a Judge's decision is actually quite complex.

You have to decide whether the order is interlocutory or final, then you may
need leave to appeal, you have to determine the level of Court and must file an
factum which is a statement of fact and law and prove an error of law. If you
lose you will have a huge cost award against you for the appeal.

These appeals are very hard to win and exceedingly hard to manage as a lay
person.

Email back and say that you have consented to the May 25th date and you are not
available to argue the motion on April 20th and will be seeking an adjournment
and hope she keeps her client's costs in mind and consents to the adjournment.

You don't need forms for the adjournment.

You or your agent will have to attend to apply for the adjournment if she won't
agree.

Have you been served with an application for support yet?

Debra Thal (username) :

support order yet?

Customer:

I have already emailed back letting tham know that I am only available on the
25th of May as suggested and confirmed by them. They then tried to move it up.
No I have not been served with the motion as of yet, however I am sure it is for
support and I need to make sure how to anser it with the the proper forms and
procedure.On the other note, if she does not accept the ajournement, what are my
options to ajourn it. And as i asked before, I am in my legal rights to insist
that I deal with the lawyer only and not my wife.

Customer:

I do not have an agent I am self representing.

Debra Thal (username) :

Unless a Court orders you to deal with your spouse directly there is no way you
can be forced to do so.

Debra Thal (username) :

People retain lawyers for many reasons. One is so they do not have to deal with
eachother.

Debra Thal (username) :

She has a lawyer and so you can deal with the lawyer.

Debra Thal (username) :

It's that simple.

Debra Thal (username) :

What you will get is a Application Form and an Affidavit.

You will put in your reply with your own Affidavit.

You will also receive her sworn Financial Statement and will need to do your
own.

The Form are all available online.

Debra Thal (username) :

I will get you the link.

Debra Thal (username) :

http://www.ontariocourtforms.on.ca/english/family/
[http://www.ontariocourtforms.on.ca/english/family/]

Debra Thal (username) :

When you get served let me know exactly what you got and I will list the Form
numbers for you.

Debra Thal (username) :

If you are wanting to start to prepare if you've not done a financial statement
yet this is a lot of work and that's what you should get started on now.

Customer:

Thanks for that. I will stay in touch when I get served so I know exactly what
to do. She has already asked for an updated financial statement which i will do.
The other questions is, is there a separate form to fill out regarding the
spousal support or is that covered in the financial statement and my repsonse in
an affidavit citing my defense for the fact that I cannot afford my own expenses
and thusly cannot afford support et. I have all the evidence already to go.
Again and I don't mean to beat a dead horse on the fact that only want to deal
with her lawyer. Do I just keep insisting on that until they do otherwise.
Remember I have already cited the abusive emails i get from my wife and do not
want to deal with her.

Customer:

Also if she insists on the motion to be heard on the 20th of April and i appeal
to her and she still insists, what is my next course of action?

Debra Thal (username) :

If she won't agree to the adjournment you attend on the 20th and explain why you
need an adjournment.

The reasons are you are now self-representing, the lawyer still has the file,
she told you that you had until May 25th etc.

The Court will give you the adjournment.

You will need to prepare an affidavit about the facts and reasons for arguing
againts the support.

So when the Court actually considers the issue of spousal support it will have
both a sworn financial statement and a sworn affidavit from you where you
explain the facts.

So the Court does not just look at the financial statement but will hear your
position in the affidavit and it will be there that you will provide the facts
about your lack of ability to pay what your spouse is asing for.

Debra Thal (username) :

There are clerks at the Courthouse that can swear your Affidavits for you.

Customer:

Thanks, XXXXX XXXXX I just keep insisting to deal with the lawyer until they do
otherwise like court order etc. As I mentioned, I do not want to deal with my
wife and I have already cited the abusive emails to her lawyer

Debra Thal (username) :

YES!

Customer:

Can I cite and mention strongly that it is my right to deal with her ( lawyer ),
only?

Debra Thal (username) :

Sure.

What you can say is that based on the past abuse you are no longer willing to
communicate with your ex-spouse at any time for any reason and so all
communcations must be through the lawyer or there won't be any communications
and the Court can decide on all issues.

Debra Thal (username) :

The lawyer will get worried that she won't get paid and your spouse will not be
able to keep paying legal fees and so will need to back down where she cannot
succeed.

Customer:

Thanks and as soon as I get the motion you can help me with the procedure and
forms as you mentioned. Thanks so much. Are you usually around at specific times
or days?

Customer:

I had also mentioned that if my wife insists on continually sending me abusive
emails, I will take the appropriate action. Could that in the form of a
restraining order or such? for i do not want the confrontation of any kind

Debra Thal (username) :

I am around most of the time.

You will find me for sure.

I would save all the emails but never, ever reply.

When you reply to the motion you can seek a restraining order then if it makes
sense. But wait and see if the emails continue so I would hold off on addressing
them for now.

Customer:

I have never replied to the abusive emails. The only one I have replied to is
the one from my wife requesting to do the inspection and cited her abuse and the
fact that I will only deal with her lawyer. i also copied the lawyer and of
course she did not respond to the abuse part.

Debra Thal (username) :

That's good.

Debra Thal (username) :

Just save them all. They can only hurt her in the end,.

Customer:

One last thing. In our answer originally I am seeking a small sum for the
abuse/assaults etc. and I found out that I cannot make a motion for this calim
and it has to be done at a settlement hearing only. Is that right or is there
another process by which I can start that?

Debra Thal (username) :

I am not sure what you mean.

Are you saying you want to sue her for damages for her conduct?

Customer:

Yes I guess that is what it is. In our answer to her original application, we
cited our own issues and one of the is: Damages for assault in the amount of
$30,000 payable by the Applicant to the Respondent. We cited that the applicant
was very abusive ( she is an alcoholic in denial ), I have many proof sources
for that. We cited the abuse in many forms, was charged once for assault and
given her achollic dependency caused sever emotional distress, anxiety and
injury to the respondent for which she is liable to him for damages.

Customer:

i am just not sure how to pursue that and with what procedure

Debra Thal (username) :

I remember discussing this.

That would not be addressed now.

What is happening now is that your spouse wants support before the trial.

So there is a motion now.

If there is not trial and you settle then this will be one of the issues you
will need to come to an agreement on but it cannot be addressed in Court now.

Customer:

am I right in assuming that it can only be addressed in a possible settlement
conference or if it goes to court? And how do i submit something like that. What
form and procedure would I have to use?

Debra Thal (username) :

There is nothing to submit. It's on the Claim so it's there already.

Customer:

But i would have to supply the history, eveidence and details of all of the
abuse, dependancy on alcohol etc. would I not? just that it is mentioned would
not be sufficient. How would it be presented and in what form?

Debra Thal (username) :

That would be for the trial.

Debra Thal (username) :

What is happening now is it that it is being said your spouse cannot wait for a
trial to determine support so she is asking for an interim order for now.

Debra Thal (username) :

But for a final order there will be a full trial, unless you settle.

Debra Thal (username) :

So when there is a trial the evidence is live.

Debra Thal (username) :

You will testify and possibly have witnesses testify too.

Debra Thal (username) :

For the interim application for support the Judge will be relying in Affidavit
evidence only.

Customer:

thanks I will keep in touch.

Debra Thal (username) :

OK

Debra Thal (username) :

And good luck for now!

Debra Thal (username) :

If we are done for now please click accept so that I can receive credit for
providing you with this information.

Customer:

Sorry about that. I just received an eamil from my wife apologizing for her
commnets and telling me that they were inappropriate and won't happen again. She
said that we should work togther to keep costs down. Not my problem. I am
thinking I will only get back to the lawyer and again state the fact I am only
going to deal with her. I am not buying that for a second. What do you think?
Also, in case the lawyer goes the full route and tries to get a court order to
have me deal with my wife, she is certainly not going to provide the reasons
i.e. abuse etc. I obviously have a right to state the reasons in some kind of
reply. How is that done?

Debra Thal (username) :

That lawyer is not going to do this.

It's virtually unheard of.

If she does make such an application just let me know and we can deal with this
but it's not going to happen. I would bet on that.

See what is happening? You are gaining the upper hand. She cannot afford to
continue to alienate and abuse you.

The only thing she can do is either start backing down to reduce legal costs,
or, and I hope this is not the case, she will fire her lawyer and
self-represent!

I think you stick to your guns and do not deal with her directly at this point.

Customer:

You are the best, XXXXX XXXXX am going to send her lawyer a note tomorrow
stating the history of abuse and I need to protect myself at all costs. Also
state that they could have done this 3 months ago and using the same excuse to
keep costs down, even though I have now given her money. I am not playing that
game. I am also going to tell her lawyer that if she does not grant me the
ajournement know ing that the May 25th date was consented and confirmed by them
and all of a sudden without consent making it for the 20th of Aprile, I will tel
her that I will jst show up in court and ask for the ajornement.

Debra Thal (username) :

That sounds like a good plan.

Debra Thal (username) :

Have a good night.

Dear XXXXX;Hope you are keeping well. I had mentioned that…

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