My Wife and I have separated as of Aug/10 but there is no separation…

Question

My Wife and I have separated as of Aug/10 but there is no separation agreement
as she refuses to sit down and set one up. We both live in the matrimonial home
although I have been denied access to any bedrooms as her 2 adult children live
with us (24 & 27) and they are using the bedrooms. I am living in the unfinished
basement with no washrooms facilities or privacy. Is she responsible for her
share of costs with respect to the home i.e. joint mortgage, utilities and taxes
etc? If so would her share be greater as a result of her 2 adult children which
is an additional burden in costs? We live in Ontario, Canada

Debra · Accepted Answer

Debra Thal (username) :

Whose name is XXXXX XXXXX in?

How long have you been married for?

Who notified her in writing?

Why is she calling the shots?

JACUSTOMER-r46bfkb2- :

Home is joint ownership. Married 4 years. Lawyer but separation date was
contested and her lawyer indicated Aug 9/10. Because each time I try do
something the Police are called and I am accussed of harassment. Also her
daughters have boyfriends over until 3 in the moring and when I asked them to
leave Police were called by them and Police told me in no uncertain terms that
they have the right to invite whom they wish when they wish and can do what they
wish and if I interfere with this I can be charged thus I cannot even get them
to vacate the bedrooms so I can also have some privacy and leve in my own home

Debra Thal (username) :

It makes no sense that she can tell you that you can only live in the basement.

I would suggest that your lawyer assist you in dealing with the police.

Debra Thal (username) :

You cannot harrass her but you can sleep in a bedroom in your home.

Debra Thal (username) :

If you move into one of the bedrooms when she is not home and shut the door it's
hard to see what the police would do. That would be particularly true if you
have a lock put on the door.

Debra Thal (username) :

But I don't know all the facts and so I would NOT consider doing this without
the approval of your lawyer.

Debra Thal (username) :

Otherwise you lawyer will need to bring an application to the Court for an Order
and could possible consider trying this on an emergency ex parte (without
notice) basis so the police will then assist you. It may be possible to do this
in Court as your spouse has effectively locked you out of the matrimonial home.

Debra Thal (username) :

In terms of expenses there is no reason why you would be paying them all unless
you've been supporting her for the 4 years.

Debra Thal (username) :

It is hard to see how a Court would order that you live in an unfinished
basement but pay so your spouse and her children can have the rest of the house.

JACUSTOMER-r46bfkb2- :

My lawyer has told me I have every right to have the 2 bedrooms but each time I
request them in writing to her and give her ample notice she has rejected and if
I try to move in physically while she is away huge agrument ensues and police
are involved

JACUSTOMER-r46bfkb2- :

She works and we have always had separate accounts not joint There is absolutely
no harassment on my part. Notice is given a week in advance and her adult
childen can go live with thier Dad as he lives in same area but they chose not
to

Debra Thal (username) :

Then have the lawyer contact the police for you and get their assistance in this
matter.

Debra Thal (username) :

Or else he/she needs to get a Court Order.

JACUSTOMER-r46bfkb2- :

he has indicated that he will apply for exclusive possession on my behalf but
this could take a while. Do her grown children really have the right to be here
even?

Debra Thal (username) :

She has a right to have whom she wants live there as you do.

Debra Thal (username) :

But as she is essentially depriving you of your right to possess the home he
should call the police and seek their assistance and then if that does't work
should consider applying to the Court on an emergency basis indicating you are
being essentially locked out of the home aside from the space in the basement.

JACUSTOMER-r46bfkb2- :

Ok will speak to him today thanks for your help

Debra Thal (username) :

I am sorry this is happening to you.

JACUSTOMER-r46bfkb2- :

This is so frustrating as she goes through everything in my desk files phone etc
as the basement is wide open and she comes down at least 2-3 times a day as does
her daughter to feed the cat, get something from storage, or from pantry and
then goes through all my stuff. She has tempered with my mail taken documents
like this is totally unbelieveable had even physically attacked me which she
admitted to the police and I can't do anything.

Debra Thal (username) :

It's ridiculous. I would tell the lawyer you need this addressed immediately and
as aggressively as possible.

Debra Thal (username) :

If we are done please click accept so that I can receive credit for providing
you with this information.

My Wife and I have separated as of Aug/10 but there is no separation…

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