My separation agreement was quite outdated; I paid tax on my…

Question

My separation agreement was quite outdated; I paid tax on my support, my support
was lower than the guidelines, no spousal support, etc. I didn't try to vary it
as my ex would stop seeing my son every time he got mad at me. Four years ago my
then 14 year old son, moved in with his dad. My ex keeps trying to get me to
write him a note to solve his issues with the family support folks but every
time I call them I'm told he needs to change custody legally. (I haven't
received any support since the day my son moved out but the FRO says the ex is
in arrears) The ex can't claim my son on his taxes because the boy makes too
much money. Anyhoo, would it be worth my while to get a lawyer and go after some
spousal and pension and get a divorce, (The first year I received a decent
support cheque I had to declare bankruptcy and he bought a house) or should I
simply tell the guy to get the papers ready for an uncontested and get it over
with? When my son moved out I was off work with an injury which has become
permanent. I earn $9000 more than my son, have no benefits, but I saved almost
$18k for the boy's education. Legal aid won't cover me for a divorce but they'll
cover me if he files against me. He won't file because I guess he's afraid I'll
go after his pension. Is it worth it for to do so?

Debra · Accepted Answer

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Debra Thal (username) :

What did the Separation Agreement say about spousal support and division of
assets including the pension or are you asking about CPP?

JACUSTOMER-xgenigh6- :

The agreement didn't touch on any spousal issues. My lawyer said we didn't have
any property to argue about. Pension was never mentioned.

Debra Thal (username) :

Did the agreement say this was a final agreement about all issues?

When was it signed?

Are you asking about CPP?

JACUSTOMER-xgenigh6- :

No, it doesn't seem to say that. They are Minutes of Settlement and nowhere does
it say this is a final agreement about all issues. This was January, 1997. Three
months before the law about taxes on support changed.

JACUSTOMER-xgenigh6- :

CPP I know I can apply for. I am inquiring more about his work pension.

Debra Thal (username) :

Do you have them readily available so I can ask some questions about them?

JACUSTOMER-xgenigh6- :

yup

Debra Thal (username) :

I have to give my daughter my computer for a few minutes as she has an urgent
matter to deal with and hers has a problem.I will be back the moment she is
done.

JACUSTOMER-xgenigh6- :

no problemo, I'll walk the dog.

Debra Thal (username) :

I am back.

Here are some questions for when you are back.

What did the Minutes of Settlement address aside from child support and possibly
custody?

Was there financial disclosure at the time of the signing of the Minutes?

Did you have independent legal advice?

When did you sign them?

How long were you married before you separated?

JACUSTOMER-xgenigh6- :

Nothing. The minutes only addressed child support & custody. Oh, and that his
estate would be the beneficiary of his life insurance policy. Mine as well.
That's it.

JACUSTOMER-xgenigh6- :

Financial disclosure worked this way. I disclosed, he didn't.

JACUSTOMER-xgenigh6- :

I had a lawyer. Legal aid. She started off great but then got into long chats
with my ex. In the end, there was a clause I was fighting hard concerning access
and it was changed from the minutes filed. I signed without noticing and called
her after. She said, "I can't be your eyes." I then called the judge. I was told
to ask her to file a motion of variance and she did so. Went to court without me
and got it fixed.

JACUSTOMER-xgenigh6- :

She had started out saying she could do the paperwork for a cheap divorce at the
same time but wouldn't return any calls later. I had had less contact with her
than my ex, I think.

JACUSTOMER-xgenigh6- :

I signed my papers in Nov or Dec of 1996 but the official seal copy came in
Febuary 1997 after she went to court to fix 'her error'.

JACUSTOMER-xgenigh6- :

we were married for three years and had four years common law prior to that.

JACUSTOMER-xgenigh6- :

I'm eating supper now. Check back in 30 minutes

Debra Thal (username) :

Got it.

The amount of pension you would be entitled to would not be very much because
you would only be entitled to share in the increase in value of that pension
over the 3 year marriage.

In any event you are out of time for seeking a division of assets at this point.

The same is pretty well true with respect to support. You aren't out of time for
asking for it but when a marriage is short (it would count as 7 years which is
still pretty short) you would not get support for long anyway. And, you can only
get support if you are not able to be self-sustaining and clearly you have been
all this time.

You don't need legal aid for a straight divorce if there are no issues.

But, what I would do if I were you is consult with a local family lawyer for
free and have the lawyer review the facts and the Minutes briefly to make sure
there is clearly nothing you can do.

You can contact the Law Society and use their Lawyer Referral Service. You will
be given the name of a lawyer and can consult with the lawyer and the first half
hour will be free.

The number is:

1-800-268-8326 or(NNN) NNN-NNNN(within the GTA)

JACUSTOMER-xgenigh6- :

Thanks. A couple of times over the years I've approached lawyers on the "30
minutes free" angle and within 10 minutes they tell me I've got a case and ask
for a sizeable retainer. If I could see a few thousand bucks out of it, it would
be helpful as my current meds and treatments aren't covered by anyone. Other
wise it would be better to just get rid of this weight.

JACUSTOMER-xgenigh6- :

My take on this is that I've managed to save for my boy's education and the ex
will need to provide as much, therefore, the kid is ok. I've been afraid to take
exit steps in case the ex could come after me for support but clearly, the kid
makes almost as much as me.

JACUSTOMER-xgenigh6- :

My new partner is worried the ex can come after his house so I need a divorce.
I've just struggled so hard, for so long, I don't want to close the door on any
financial help.

Debra Thal (username) :

Your ex cannot take anyone's house.

I don't know which lawyers said you had a case but maybe that was a long time
ago.

Why not do the half hour routine one more time.

You can always post on this site again and put my name in the subject line and
we can review what you were told.

JACUSTOMER-xgenigh6- :

Sounds like a plan. Thanks!

My separation agreement was quite outdated; I paid tax on my…

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