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Hello. My name is Eden N. and currently living here in Nova…

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Hello. My name isXXXXX and...
Hello. My name isXXXXX and currently living here in Nova Scotia. Since I arrived here last November, our marriage has been on the rock. Whenever I have an argument with my wife, it always end in a fight. Not physically, though. She had always asked me to leave the house which I never did for security reasons. And again, she is asking me to leave after our fight last June 20, 2010. I told her that I will just leave her and our daughter until she signs an agreement that she is forcing me to leave them. In that case, I have more than enough reason to go. She even threatened me that she can do anything to brainwash our child so she will hate me for the rest of her life. I don't want that to happen for my daughter is my life now. What will I do? By the way, we are just dependents of her.
Submitted: 8 years ago.Category: Canada Law
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Answered in 3 hours by:
6/21/2010
Lawyer: Tom B., Barrister & Solicitor replied 8 years ago
Tom B.
Tom B., Barrister & Solicitor
Category: Canada Law
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Dependants of her? What do you mean?

What are your security concerns?

How old is your daughter?
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Customer reply replied 8 years ago
Dependants- she is the one who petitioned us to be able to come here in Canada. My daughter is 4 years old and she believes everything that my wife will tell her no matter what it is. My security concern is that, if I will leave them because she is forcing me to go, she might just as well tell in the end that I abandoned them.
Lawyer: Tom B., Barrister & Solicitor replied 8 years ago
The courts will not assume you abandoned them unless you actually do by disappearing. While an agreement is worth working towards, it is not necessary for you to get her to sign that she wants you to go. Courts do not look at fault between people who are separating. Why you left will not become an issue.

However, there are things to work out including your access to your daughter and child support. Your facts are very concerning. If you cannot come to an agreement that is satisfactory, you should at least consider whether you should seek custody of your daughter. The wife is basically threatening the child not just yourself.

It is the right of the child to be loved and financially supported by both parents. She has a right to be in your life and any intentional destruction of that by the mother is child abuse in my opinion. If the mother truly intends to do this damage, the only option to protect the child is for you to have custody if you can take on that responsibility.

One way of discouraging this behavior may be to get that issue out in the open. While your wife sounds as though she is rigid in her thoughts, at least suggest that you both go to a family mediator to try and work out an agreement. Perhaps if she hears from an impartial professional that the best interests of the child are paramount, she may come to realize that hurting your relationship is really hurting the child. Below is a link to the mediation services of the court as a starting place.

http://www.courts.ns.ca/supreme/sc_family6.htm

If she will not mediate and you having custody is not an option, then through the court process you will have to get your access straightened out and protect your daughter by protecting your relationship with her. Children caught in the middle suffer but she will naturally want you in her life and the best way of combating negativity is to be a positive presence for her. Lets hope that your wife will see the light through the process. Certainly a court would be alarmed if she tries to do what she has threatened.

You may wish to speak to a lawyer in person. Below is a link to the NS Lawyer Referral Service. They will give you a few names of lawyers in your area that practice family law and who have agreed to offer 30 minutes of their time for just $20.00. If you will feel better, that also lets someone else know that you are not abandoning your family.

http://www.legalinfo.org/general-content/general-content/lawyer-referral.html

I wish you and your daughter the best of luck.

Edited by Tom Bulmer on 6/22/2010 at 3:36 AM EST
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