I do not mind been seperated but i do not want to divorce and…

These are separate issues, and I'll try to explain both here.

An annulment from court is a judicial declaration that the marriage was void from the outset and so there was no marriage in the first place. This is rare, but can happen. Usually it occurs when the marriage was illegal in the first place because one party was still married at the time of the marriage, or was underage when married, or the individual who conducted the marriage wasn't qualified to do so.

An annulment can also happen if the marriage hasn't been consummated. A married spouse is only entitled to one act of sexual congress to confirm the marriage. It has happened that one spouse thought that the other spouse was of the opposite sex but was actually same sex, but that would still fall under the "fraud" category even in these days of gay marriage. Non consummation does happen in arranged or long distance marriages.

Whether or not the Catholic Church chooses to annul a marriage as far as it is concerned doesn't matter to the court. Catholics can and do divorce as easily as anyone else in court, but the process of getting an annulment from the Catholic church is a separate process and doesn't affect whether spouses are still married or not in law. Catholics can divorce in law but their faith requires them to get an annulment through the church before the church considers them single and free to remarry with the blessing of the church.

You haven't received the papers yet, so you needn't assume that your ex is seeking an annulment. Honestly, that is rather rare. If the marriage wasn't short and you have children together, your ex is most likely seeking a divorce.

A divorce is acknowledgment that he marriage was valid but that one party wants it ended. There are three grounds for divorce, being the reason why it's sought: that there was abuse (physical or mental/psychological), that there was adultery, or that the couple has been living separate and apart for a year or more and that there's no prospect of reconciliation. Most people by far choose the last one because it's easiest and it doesn't invite the other side to contest it. If I were married and then separated, and my ex sent me divorce papers a year later saying that a divorce should be granted on the grounds of one year of separation then there's little I can do to contest that. If my ex claimed that I had been abusive or adulterous then I'm far more likely to object to that.

It's hard to block a simple divorce. Your ex is unlikely to be seeking an annulment, but it's possible. Since you haven't got the papers yet, we can't project what your response will be.

When you get your papers, feel free to write to me again here or take it to your nearest family court and see duty counsel to help you determine exactly what's going on.

Good luck

Ulysses

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