My ex husband and I decided to see a mediator instead of going…

OK, those are both very savvy observations. You're probably right. If you say that the child isn't going to school, dad will say "I guess the child should come live with me then", and soon you're paying him support for two kids. He's clearly making your life difficult on purpose either to get back at you or to make a pitch for having both kids with him.

As well, he may well be stinging because you have a new partner. That happens all the time.

There are two ways to go about this. I hope that you can send dad an email. Keep it respectful and reasonable, and state your case. Say to dad that you each agreed that it would be best for the children for dad to have the older and for you to have the younger. Say that you both should want the younger to have stability of schooling, and because you want that you rented a unit that was more expensive than you can afford because you wanted to stay closer to dad and to the younger child's school. Say that you agreed to do that partly because dad was agreeing that he'd do the transportation. Say that if dad isn't going to do the transportation that you'll have to break your lease and move to a cheaper place to live. If that happens, the child will have to change schools which you both wanted to avoid in the first place, and since you'll be farther away dad's access to the younger might have to be reduced. Say that it's unfair of him to unilaterally change such important factors of co-parenting such as transportation to school without consulting with you, with no notice to you, and without consideration as to whether his change is in the child's best interests. Say that when the child asks why he has to change schools and leave his friends that dad can explain that it's because dad didn't want to drive him anymore for no obviously good reason. Say that unless dad has a really good excuse as to why he's suddenly not going to transport the child that you'll have no choice but to take the agreement to a lawyer and go to court, or simply re-enroll the child in the school that's closest to you that's easier for you to get back and forth to.

Keep a copy of the email, read it over a couple of times to make sure that it isn't too aggressive. Remember, you want this email to solve a problem, not start another one.

Does this help?

Good luck.

Ulysses

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