HI I have a question for you. I have been split from my ex…

There is no clear answer to your question.

Really, it's not about your rights. It's about their rights. They have a right to see their father and have the right to be treated with love and respect. Some would say that her behaviour is abuse. Emotional abuse is abuse even though there's no physical aspect to it and throwing their shoes seems to be not only abusive but raises red flags both about her emotional stability and about whether the atmosphere, when all is considered, is appropriate for them and whether going there is in their best interests. Her name calling and screaming are cruel, frightening and further evidence of lack of control.

What will happen over the next while is that they may start resisting when it's time to go and they are approaching an age where not only will their wishes be considered seriously by the Court but where the refusal to go will not be able to be overcome by anyone.

For these reasons it may be time for you and their father to try and discuss whether this treatment towards them by Sue needs to be tolerated by them or by you.
Perhaps Sue needs to start to understand that she may be putting her boyfriend's relationship with his kids in jeopardy from an emotional and possibly legal perspective and that neither you nor your children can tolerate this treatment any longer.

But, it's not likely that you will get much co-operation from the father so it may be that at some point you may need to consider involving a lawyer.

I am sorry this is happening to your children and to you. You must be horrified to say the least.

Let me know if you need further clarification.