What kind of Canadian lawyer do I need to consult to appeal…

So, if I contact law firms individually should I just ask "Do you practice civil law?" or... Can I sue the complainant for misinterpreting my actions and causing me to be barred? Also, what kind of action can I take against mall security fo treating me like a criminal when they didn't ask for my side of the story and just told me to leave? Sorry, am I allowed to ask more than one question?

Will I need a different type of lawyer to sue and another type if I just want a letter? How expensive it it to sue? How much will a lawyer charge for a letter? I can't find "civil law" in drop-down menu on Lexpert. Do you recommend anybody? Also, what kind action can I take against the cashier? I read that one can only sue for "libel and slander" if one has a high-standing in a community--true?

I already knew most of the info you replied with...my fault, can I tell you more specifics about the situation so you can can get a clear picture...generally speaking, what's the typical range of lawyer fees per hour for a civil case? And, can I keep asking you questions over the next few days or do I have to finish up tonight?

Sorry, specifics coming up. I wasn't sure if you wanted me to type the details.

This situation happened on May 7 2009 at Scarborough Town mall. The story from the beginning: I'm a chocoholic so I started frequenting a candy shop at this mall starting about 4 months ago almost every day as it was on my way to the subway. Before that I used to go like once or twice a week . This shop carries bars that are rare in Toronto. The next shop that carries its bars are an hour away. Well, the cashier tells me later it has been op    en 3 years and she has been working the counter for 3 years. I have been in there before but I never noticed her as I generally don't notice cashiers at chocolate stores because my brain is busy drooling over all the chocolate. Anyway, as usual I go in about 4 months ago, get my bars and go to the counter, I was so exhausted I couldn't even hold my head up...okay, maybe too much detail. Anyway, she initiated conversation with me. "What is that?" she asked pointing to an icecream sundae I had. I was annoyed she was talking to me but I answered and ended the conversation. To my irritation she seemed eager to revive the conversation so she says, "but what is that on top?". Then I soften up and chatted briefly but I had to leave but she was still talking as I was walking away so I say something like "You here often?". And she says "Every day. Come by anytime.". This whole first interaction sets the stage for what's to follow. I have had cashiers chat before but she was so eager to talk that I felt like "Hey, she seems cool.". Also, I think it was in this first conversation that we both bonded over the fact that we wre chocoholics. More coming...The reason I'm being so detailed is that unfortunately every nuance counts due to the nature of her complaints. Contd. Shortly and much more brief. Sorry, I find this hard.

Next time I went in we chatted a bit more about our love for chocolates, how this store is awesome etc. Nothing personal. I am a person who feels it's rude not in to engage in conversation everytime I see the same cashier since pretending not to not know each other all of a sudden is strange to me. So for about a month I went in once a week and she was super-friendly and eager to chat. We chatted about more personal things each time. She talked more than me that, to this day I know more about her than she does about me. In late March we were talking near closing time and as soon as her co-worker goes to lock up: she makes a move on me but I turn away first. In shock, I go to the counter and talk to to the other cashier trying to make the point that I'm friendly to all not just her. Then we three chatted but I was in a rush and I told her so yet she kept talking so I say "do you continue talking sometime else?" She says "If you want"...I, in a mad rush; write down my email and hand it to her. She seemed super-pleased and took my card saying "Thank you." To me this "friendship" is going the same way as every other new potential friend I meet (cashiers in the past, people in bookstores, film festival lineups). I'm a very friendly person..more later. Sorry, time constraints. A little background info: she's 25 and her brother owns the store. I'm 25, female. The fact that I'm female is one of the reasons this is nuts.

The next time next time I went in, I did the usual: got bars, went to the counter, somehow we always ended up chatting at least for a few minutes each time I went in.She behaved just as any "friend" I know. She smiled at me as soon as she saw me. Not just a regular sales person smile. So, since we found out we have so much in common, at this point I was thinking "Yay, new potential friend. During our chats most of the time we were alone but sometimes other cashiers were working the same register. She told me they are over-staffed. Things she told me: her best friend is single and possibly depressed and wants to hang out with her 24 hrs a day. She says her friend is too needy. Her ex was abusive. We never discussed her flirty behaviour so I decided to mention the fact( as she was somplaining about her friend at this time and the fact that her friend calls her at work and expects her to have 12 hour conversations because she is bored and doesn't work ) that I hate it when people track me too. I say I hate when people are like "where are you", "what are ya doing" etc. The reason I I say this is to hint I'm in a relationship. Right after I say this she says "I never have t ime to see my boy friend too". Until this moment she never mentions or even hints at a relationship. I mention this now as it's important for her behaviour later.Sometimes I would take my bars, put it down on the counter ready to pay but she wouldn't ring me up. This signaled to me she wanted to chat etc. Sometimes I'll put my purchases down on the counter and she starts to pick up a plastic bag; then she looks at me; puts bag back on it's pile. To me it signal that she wants talk. Little things like that she would do, showed me that she wants to get to know me better or at the very least she wants me to hang about a little longer. Point is we chatted at least 3 times a week for at least 2 months in which she told me personal things that I would never tell a stranger. The other thing is I have a strange sense of humour that most people I meet get and they laugh their butts off. I love making people laugh. All the times we were talking I talked like to do to anyone, friend or potential friend. Early on it was established that I have a weird sense of humour. For instance, when I gave her my card I said "I'm not a creep but I do kill people". Her and her co-worker laughed hard . Things I have said to her and that she laughed to:1) I've got women shackled in my dungeon. 2) I got on my tricycle and peddled to the town where you live looking for you and you drove by me without a word. 3) D o you have special stock for special customers in the back? 4) On your knees (this comment was for her forgetting to reserve a specific bar for me). My tone of jokes can be dark and silly but when people laugh I can only assume they love it. She is usually the type of person I wouldn't talk to. She's less worldly (I know this now from her actions) and more into Britney Spears. I'm a rocker who always wears black. This was the one time in my life where I thought be open to a new type of person who has similar hobbies.     One day (at this point I felt comfortable enough to just ask anyone working whether she was in...because I thought she was so busy she barely sleeps and since she seems to enjoy our talks I would try to come when she works cause I'm have to get bars anyway. But it was just casual idea...not that I changed my whole schedule for her. She always seemed to be there everyday but I made a point in telling her I should come by when she is here to show her that I don't hate her due to the fact that sometimes I say blunt things. For inbstance, once I said "do you go to Tff or do you know the arts festival "Burning Man?". And she said "No" and I said kind of mean "do you live in a cave?" More coming.

All the times I went to the store even though I was behind schedule sometimes, I chatted at least 2 minutes cause to me it's rude otherwise. I'm so sensitive and I always go out of my way not to hurt anyone's feelings. During our conversations we talked (more her) hair care, lip gloss, her family being controlling, her boyfriend being controlling , guitars, clothing shops, chocolate shops, how she loves the sun, her parents fight about the store and whether I think she is mean for trying to convince her parents to close the other store, her parents don't pay her well but they give her enough to live, she doesn't sleep well,she eats only junk, where she went to school and why she hated business...I'm trying to established here that any reasonable person in this same situation would conclude that the cashier is sharing her life because she wants us not to be strangers and also, she is comfortable with me. This is how I talk to my friends not shallow conversations with random people. For me this is natural. I've asked or given my email address out to other cashiers at Starbucks, food places etc. And I had only chatted with then like once or four times. And, I'm not gay but since I was young girls and boys hit on me. I never understand it. Later when a potential new becomes a "friend", I ask why they made a move on me and they say "I don't know". And if I ask "DId you think I was gay?". They always say "No." So, for me this is how life is. Perhaps because I have short hair...who knows? More key moments coming...

A couple of key moments in detail:

One day I was in on a Saturday evening and as soon as she sees me she gives me a big old smile and I smile back(another cashier was standing right next to her). The other cahier was the same one who was there that night I gave her my email so I give her a small smile. I go behind the counter and ask if I can leave my sundae and drink on the counter. She says "yes, but I don't think you trust me with your icecream.". She says in a sweet joking way like the sort of interaction I have with any friend.   She loves icecream like me. Then she tells me (and I was still standing behind the counter) she got those bars I was dying for, from the other store which she pointed to lying in a basket with a thousand other bars; so we both rifle through them at the same time and I pick one up and say, "these are hard" and I bang the bar on. her shoulder and say "I could kill someone with these" and and I wave it in front of her face. Then a customer arrives so then I say "I hope you weren't serious about the summer" I'm refering to thet the time that we talked about visiting chocolate stores. The reason I mention this is because she stated before that she so busy now and in the summer hopefully she can hire more people. But I had just remembered that I'll be unavailable and I hate the sun so I say ( continuing from the last thing I said) "you know how bears hibernate for the winter...well I hibernate for the summer--hate the sun". And so she holds her chest/heart and says "ahhh ". You that vocal sound that sounds like heartbreak. Then she says "don't remind me...like tonight I have to divided my little time with my best friend and boyfriend. My best friend is pissed and then he wants me. And you don't know how I feel. She seemed genuinely stressed about her evening.I could her it in her voice so much so that I felt guilty. Then we get interuppted by a customer and I say "I can't even stalk you cause you live in the boonies" to which she smiles. Then she gets pulled by a coworker to help a customer so she exits from behind the counter and diappears into the store. Then it occured to me my movie is gonna start soon so I was like crap and I am very anal about goodbyes so I noticed she was still busy with that customer so because I felt guilty about reminding her of her tough night ahead (I thought I'd draw a cartoon face on a piece of paper--the goal was the smiley face was supposed to make her smile during the rest of her stressful nighht)and as she was still   occupied I handed her the paper (to which she said "I'll read this later" all happily) and said I had to run for the movie. On my out, the other cashier gives me a super-friendly smile which showed me they don't dislike.

SOrry that my story is long but I need your opiniom on it and unfortunately it's so crazy that if you don't get these details you won't understand what happened later.
An explantion on why the above story is important and few more key moments and then the day of the crime. Thanks for being patient.Pardon the typos. I just read my last post and realized there's a lot. I'll be much more careful next time.

I'll be continuing the story soon. I have a few questions:

1) Is "public law" considered "civil law"?
2) Is their a time limit for suing the mall security and the cashier?
3) Generally, how does one get a copy of the report written by the cashier? As it's obvious, she has said stuff that is untrue; I thought whether there is a way to get it before I see a lawyer. That way I'm ready to tell the lawyer all sides in the consultation. What's the traditional way that will get the task done?

1) Actually, I was wondering if public law is another name for civil law because I can't seem to find civil on the lexpert site. I don't want to use the referral so I'm hunting on my own.

2) Should I look for a lawyer that practices civil litigation and human rights or a specialist in civil litigation or just a general pratice lawyer?


3) Right now I'm going to be meeting with the general manager of STC as when I called Oxford Properties they said talk to her and if she can't solve theb come back to us. My sister says we should write a letter and mail it to her but since the story is long I rather meet. What do you recommend? So, if I don't sue I will not be able to get the report? Does the lawyer just call them up or does it require forms and stuff?

Story coming up every other day this week. Busy.

1) So, even lawyers might not be able to get the report? Now,if I call the security office...how would I go about asking them without putting them on the defensive? One guard and the manager were disrespectful towards me so I want to be careful. The manager also was trying to put words into my mouth when we requested a meeting to appeal.Isn't it normal procedure for the accused to want to see the other side especially when it's obvious the cashier has twisted everything?

2) Is there any other actions I can take against the cashier besides suing? Because I'm just a lowly student with no standing in the community, suing for libel and slander will not do.
3) Will a general practice lawyer be cheaper than a specialized civil litigator?

4)Some sites list "civil practice" and "civil law" seperately. What's the difference?

1) Is it possible to get the report through court order without suing.

2) There is no head office. Her immediate family owns all three stores.   

3) What can I sue her under? Libel and slander won't work.

4) Did you mean they cost the same?

Sorry, I'm asking questions without teliing you the whole story again.

Can I sue even though I didn't suffer any actual financial loss?

Do you have a link to the referral website?

Continued with more key moments:

One week I went in almost daily but we rarely found an appropriate moment to chat without interruption and I was in too much of a rush; but, I was eager to tell her that she might be my new muse. I'm a writer and I haven't written in a while but around the time we started chatting I started writing again. And to me this is a huge moment. But it could have been the other four new people I met during the same period or none of them but it was fun to play around with the idea.   And because I love being silly. Since it appeared she and I were busy; the next time I saw her I asked "you gonna be in Saturday? " She replies "yep". So , I take off knowing that on Saturday I'll definitely be more relaxed. As usual I go to the mall on Sat and get food and chocolate. It's my routine except I had to be at the opera downtown this particular Sat so as soon as I go in I go the counter and say "I penciled you in for 4 minutes" to make the point that I'm rushed but I still thought of her and I even chose " 4 min" for comic effect; to which she giggles and says "oh my god" and then I say "do you know why I've been eager to see you...cause I have to tell you might be my muse" and her reaction was so adorable that I thought "whoa, she seems really excited about this" which made me happy cause I like making people smile. So I say "you know what, to thank you I
should write something about you!". She gets all super- excited again so I say "I'll do it now". So I pull piece of paper abd pen out of my bag and say "close your eyes". She gives me a playful resistance face to which I say
"It's distracting I can't write with you looking at me.". So she closes her eyes while standing behind the counter and don't forget she is still working and at this time there are at least 4 customers. Then she opens her eyes after a minute and I say "few more seconds" so she closes them again. And then (while she faces me and I'm still facing her) she pivots to her her right and then opens her eyes. Then she looks at me like "oh, you're still writing." And I say "almost done" I was thinking "oh my god, did she think I was going to come behind the counter and kiss her?" So, I give her a strange look and say "here" and hand her the piece of paper which she takes excitedly and I say "open it in 40 min not now". I say this for no other reason but to add to the silliness. I had no other purpose for the S0 min wait. She says "alright, I'll put it here (she places it on the counter on the side) and then she glances at her watch and says "okay". then I say "let me grab some chocolate" so I grab one bar to which she smiles when she sees which bar. And I thought "geez she has some ego". The reason I say this is because in the past she said "I got these bars cause I thought of you". They are my favourite so I always get them but she seems to be under the impression I'm buying them cause of her. Then I pay and say "damn, I think my ride is here.". And then she says "really". Then she gets busy and then I start walking out and then I realize I hadn't said goodbye so (by the way, I was really frazzled and stressed out at this moment because I stayed longer than 4 min ) I turn around and she says "is someone waiting for you" I say "yep" Then she smiles one of those "you are hopeless" smiles. This moment is key because it was a knowing smile.

More coming soon. I rather ask your opinion first. Thanks.

Now the next time I went in was the day that was crazy. It was the Mon. following the opera Sat..as I was entering the mall I ran into an ex. We have a complicated relationship so my decisions might not make sense but there's a reason behind it all. I was entering the mall and he came up behind me and whispered in my ear which drives me nuts.   This upset me but I wasn't in the mood to start any arguments and I didn't have the energy either. So as I still hadn't got my food and chocolate I was stuck with him tagging along. I had some time to spare so I decided to go to a few clothing stores with him as I would've felt would've felt guilty otherwise cause he asked me to as he was killing time till his friend arrived. His friend didn't come on time but I had to go so I was trying to shake him off because he would get annoying if I took him to the chocolate store cause I couldn't pretend I don't know the cashier. That would be strange.   And he doesn't like it when I talk to others; he makes faces etc. I just didn't have an ounce of energy to disagree about anything this particular day. Just going with the flow. By now, I must have had 2 hours of sleep a night for like 2 months. During our mall journey he slapped my butt twice which also upset me but I just said a playful "stop it". I was by this point frazzled and stressed but I was not about to tell him what errands I had to do. I got hungry so I say let's get icecream; so I get some then we continue shopping. As it was getting late I thought "hey, she usually doesn't work this late, anyway!". So I thought... get the dumb chocolate and leave cause my ex ain't going anywhere. This is how important chocolate is in my life and I definitely needed it this particular day cause I was stressed out. I eat 2 bars everyday!   So I say to him "let's get chocolate" and we head to the store.   I popped my head in and entered where I always usually do; the last aisle of the store furthest from the counter, since that is where my bars are located while he remained covered near the entrance by the shelves...then I walk a few steps in front of him and look towards the counter when my view is unobstructed by a shelf and saw she was WORKING and alone so she was not distracted by anyone (she is always chatting with co-workers unless alone) and it was dead in the store so I thought this won't work. Plus, I gave her the note on Saturday which I wanted to ask her about and if we BOTH go the counter that would be awkward and he would start with his nonsense. " f**k, I thought. Should've told him to go."   ; and the store was dead except for us so she sees me and starts to smile (I make eye contact for a second not smiling but with a surprised face and turn around towards my friend hidden by shelves) and tell him "let's go". We were 2 steps away from the entrance so we leave without her seeing us leave. It all happened so quickly. I didn't want to hurt both their feelings etc. which is why I went to this trouble; and I just realized it's too late for my errands so I relax and say "I need to go to shoppers drug". And we walk towards it; then I say "f**k it, too tired". So we walk towards the subway as he insisted he walk me out eventhough I just wanted him to go so I could get the chocolate and I really wanted to know what she thought of what I wrote about her. And now, I had time to kill until like 8pm as he made me late for my previous plans as the stores close at 6; so I wanted to relax and waste time but not with him but at this moment I couldn't tell him. As we're standing near the subway entrance I say see ya but he wants to walk me to the subway so I say "I want to talk to someone who works here and it would be weird if you were there and I feel bad leaving you when your friend hasn't come yet....is it okay?". Of course he has a look on his face and says "it's fine", but I knew he was thinking "what the hell?". Anyway, he tries to give me a kiss (which threw me for a loop) so I turn away then I say "cheek kiss" so then he does that and I quickly exit back into the mall without even looking at his face. Then I go the the chocolate store. Because I was weird before, the first thing I do is head to the counter and just I was about to open my mouth she says "I saw you before..." and then I cut in and say "yeah, sorry I was weird I'm all f**ked up from running into a friend and he made me late for things and it would be strange trying to talk with my friend here ." Then she says "you can still make it". Then I say "too late". Then I say "he wanted to walk me all the way to the subway and he would leave. What would you do?". She says "be honest". And I'm like "I was honest I told him I left my toaster on". She smiles and then somehow we got into talking about hair care, clothes, etc. And then at one point I say: " I forgot what I wrote last night and I was worried about what I'd written...then it occured to me I don't have your number to text you. So I tricycled all the way to Pickering to find you and I just got back and you passed me on the street and ignored me.". She smiles through that whole sentence.    She says" I would never do that". I say " oh ya but you did". More smiles.   I say "oh ya did you read it?" She says "yep". And I look at her silently for a comment she says "it's cute". I smile and then we talk some more. She talked to me like any other friend talks to me. Then at one point I pull out pen paper and say "be creative" she says "huh". I laugh and say "number, etc how slow are ya". She writes down her email and number and then she rips up the paper and says "aren't you gonna give me yours". I say "you have it". She says "that was just your email". So I write it down. Then she says as she has said about the state of her life before "I barely check my phone or email...". In my head I'm thinking "no shit" as she sounds like every other of my busy friends. Then I want to leave but she looked off today. Today was the only day I've ever seen her "stressed" and I wanted to ask "what's wrong?" but I couldn't bring myself to introduce that topic into the conversation smoothly so I just kept saying stupid things to make her laugh. Although she did say she has been doing a lot of work by herself and it's killer. I truly felt sorry for her never having time for anything else besides work so I just wanted to be entertained at work at least. Unfortunately, I was severely tired on this day so there were actual 30 second silences without either of us saying anything which for me is awful (hate dead air) so I would ask or say dumb things. To be contd. This day is long!!!! Then I will describe one more day--the security pulling me aside. Then the aftermath. Thanks for the patience.

So, we keep chatting about random topics then a coworker comes in and we all talk a bit and then the cashier tells her coworker to go get foof etc. If she wants. She leaves and me and the cashier talk a bit...and then her coworker comes back with food and then the cashier says a bit later to her coworker "you can go get whatever"...so the coworker leaves and comes back in a bit with a drink which we talk about. And she even pulled out a photo of herself to show me; cause we were discussing hair and she says "let me show you me with short hair". She shows it to me and then pulls it away before I even had a chance to take it in. I say "let me see it again" like 4 times. She says "that will be the fastest thing you've ever seen". It was a very playful encounter.   Then the cashier pulls out some food and says "sorry, I gotta eat" and I reply "don't apologize" making a funny face while saying that. So, the talking was starting to die down...I wanted to leave but she kept gettin' interrupted by customers etc. and I couldn't do a proper goodbye. For me "goodbyes" are critical. They always have been; to me it's rude otherwise. Anyway, after about an hour or so she makes a few calls and and asks her coworker "do you need anything else?". I say "ya, a raise", to which her coworker starts laughing and I smile and look at her and she wasn't laughing so we both stop. Then she looks at a piece of paper and looks freaked out. I say "what's wrong" she says "my schedule, so much to do"...and I feel sorry for her, thinking "man, I wish I could make her laugh/destress her"...then she looks like she is about to leave so I say "I'll come with you" cause I felt weird staying with the other girl cause I barely knew her. She says "you can talk to her if you want". I say "nah", but I didn't want to elaborate in earshot of the coworker. The only reason I ever talked to the others was because I felt if I didn't it would be rude eventhough we had nothing in common unlike the cashier and I. So I walk out with her and we both say "bye" to the coworker as we are midway out the entrance. At the front of the store she says "which way is the subway". Then I say "anyway upstairs is good. Where are you going?". She points to her left. It was so close I thought "hey, I can use these few seconds to try to destress her"...so I say "I gots loads of time I'll walk ya to car" and we start walking...she was in a mad rush as she told me that she has to go all the way to Whitby where this store that closes at 6pm normally (6:15 now) is waiting just for her. I say "oh god, why?". She says " I have to pick up this wholesale stuff from this lady" and I say "why can't you fedex it" she says " I wish". Then as I realize I have only a few minutes before we say "goodbye". I start thinking up some jokes to help her calm down because she looked severely stressed. So I say as we walk towards the parking lot "hey, now I can stick a GPS on your car. Oops, I meant now I can check if the GPS I already installed is working right". This to me is a running joke as we have had a previous conversation where we were joking about stalking and how I said "which one is your car" and she says "it's the one thing you won't know" with a smile. We got on this topic as I joked about how she drove past me in her neighbourhood when I tricycled to her town to ask her something. Anyway, she smiles as we continue walking. I forgot the full converstion but somehow it came up as to why I didn't want to stay and talk to the other girl. So I say " I don't like corrupting children" she says "geez everyone is 18 except for the black girl". I say "what colour is her hair. I remember women by the colour of their hair." She says "there is only one black girl who works there". I say "oh". Then I say " cause I swear a lot". My point was anyone who is near 18 or near it is a kid to me. The cashier is 25 so I'm all fine with swearing with her. I'm very motherly towards anyone who I consider a kid. At this point we go through a set of exit doors and we keep walking and I say "man, today when I woke up I was like f**k everything"... I forgot why I said this she must've asked me something...anyway, just as we about to cross the street towards the parked cars she says "I forgot something!". I say "what". She says "sorry, I have to run" I think poor girl is already late and now this. She starts jogging back toward the store. And say behind her "you coming back here" she says" yup". So I stay put as I tried to walk fast behind her and I couldn't keep up due to my injured knees. So I thought I'll just wait here. I really didn't want to wait but we hadn't said goodbye yet so I stayed. I was standing around the pavement outside the doors playing with my Blackberry. Then I think "geez, how much longer". And I pace a little and go back inside the doors and wait there cause the weather sucked. I keep playing with my Blackberry looking up a couple of times cause I knew she didn't see exactly where I was waiting. I think "damn, I wanna leave" so I walk halfway toward the store to see if I could spot her, say goodbye and leave. Still no sign of her. So I go back to doors and peer outside thinking I must've missed her while playing on my phone. Then I think "oh no, she might be awhile. Who knows what she forgot etc.". And I was antsy to leave. Then I think "f**k it" and I walk to the store and go beside the coworker and say "did she come back" she says "yup, she got something from there (she points to a corner) and she left. She was flooded with customers so I didn't want to keep questioning her so I leave and think maybe I just missed her and I hope the cashier doesn't think I'm rude since I never said bye. So, I thought one last try: I walk to the parking lot pavement and look toward the cars. I couldn't see clearly so I step down from the pavement to get closer towards the cars and look out for any Mini's backing up. None. So I get back on the pavement and text to the number she had just given me saying "christ, I waited in the parking lot for you for 24hrs. You owe me an apology for sure.". And then I get icecream on the way out to the subway to which a Baskin worker says "you're disgusting". I say " what??!! You've never eaten a whole lot of icecream in one day?". She says "no". By the way the reason this Baskin girl can talk to me like this is because we became friends as I would go there daily and she would ask me more questions everytime she saw me etc. And she would say things like "I never see you enough" and "I'm happy to see you (in response to when I asked her why she gets all super-excited when she sees me). Just like the chocolate girl...I was friendly to icecream girl cause she was so very friendly than she was to other customers so I was friendly back. And I gave her my email address just like chocolate girl. And we have known each other for a year and a half through Baskin. For me this is normal. Back to chocolate girl: so I leave kinda annoyed I didn't get to say "goodbye". Story ccontinued later. But a few facts:
Everyone who works in the store are family friends which is bad for me. And you already know her brother owns the store. More soon.

The next time I go in was the Wed of the same week. I go in start browsing the bars when out of the corner of my eye I see her with some customers to my right. So, I wave. She didn't see me; she wasn't facing me, anyway. I thought she might she me out of the corner of her eye. I was eager to find out what the hell happened on Mon. as I thought that was rude though I wasn't truly annoyed as I knew she was stressed that day. I had tons of friends who behave like her-- as in not emailng or texting back in a timely manner so it all seemed pretty standard to me. Also, I did think she was so stressed out on the Mon. that the last thing she gave a shit about was saying goodbye but I always do--that's just me. Today, was super-crowded; never seen it that crowded. There were boxes everywhere and people giving lengthy orders to the cashier. So, I thought today is a crappy day for any kind of chat. While I was looking at bars she appeared to the left of me sorta talking to a customer. We make eye contact and although she seemed preoccupied
cause I wanted her to be aware of my silly disapproval I say "You're dead". She didn't seemed to register it cause she seemed frazzled and she was in the middle of helping a customer it seemed. I thought, "why, oh, why must it be busy today of all days?". Then I continue getting bars then I go to the counter with like 10 bars, put it on the counter. At this time, she was standing behind the counter with another cashier in a discussion about GST blah, blah. They were both super-stressed and they kept talking about it for what seemed like eternity and since no other customer seemed to need them at this point I interrupt and say "geez maragaret when's the last time you saw me?". She, still in heavy conversation looks at me at says " I don't know. Hold on a second". So, I pull out my Blackberry and play with it while they continue to freak out about some GST thing. Then while I was still on my Blackberry they finish talking...I was barely listening so it looked like she had to get something done right away as she starts walking out from behind the counter, gives me a glance and keeps moving quickly towards the back. Then I pay for my bars and say " is she gonna be long?" Her coworker answers in detail " today is the worst day ever. They shipped us the wrong things and we have nowhere to put them; we got so many orders and because of the recession we have to work hard etc. I say "oh god that sucks". Then instead of wasting more time I think let me leave a note. So I say "I'll write her a note". She says "do you have to, cause the owner watches us on cameras... I say "what, really?!". This was the first time I was aware of any sort of surveillance by the owner. I was thought that was creepy. Anyway, she replies "yep, he watches to see we are not on the phone etc. and that we work properly etc.". I say "geez, her own brother. Do you know I told the cashier to fire people?". I say this because somehow the recession topic came up again and I had asked her why the hell do you have 4 people working one register and she should fire 'em. She says "ya, but it's hard cause most of them are her sister's friends. We talked a little more...I think part of this conversation might have happened sometime else. Anyway , she says " if you gonna write the note can you write it outside cause he watches...so I walk out pull out a pen and tiny piece of paper and write "
Geez, I waited for 24hrs for you in the parking lot ya know. Now you most definitely owe me an apology. On your knees!" There might have been one more line but I don't remember. Then I walk in and leave it on the counter. Her coworker seed it and says "where do you want me to put it". I say "wherever" and then I leave. I didn't go on the next day but the day after...more soon.

Also, how much more does it cost to sue more than one person when it's the same case? Is it chaper just to sue the owner? Instead of all involved?

So, I go in a day after, pick up 2 bars, go to the counter and glance at the two girls and a guy behind the counter (the two girls smile and one was whipsering into the phone) and pay...and as I was familiar with the girl who rung me through I say "don't work too hard" to which she smiles and then I leave. I say that to everyone. After I walk out a few steps, I stop to squish the bars into my bag. Then I hear someone saying "hey, hey and then whistling...l" I turn around and it is one security guard rushing towards me. I think in my head "gee, I wonder what's happening". At this this point I think nothing since I think it must be an error. So, I stop to a side near the side of an escalator which is surrounded by a full food court. The guard says "you come here almost everyday". I'm not sure what the exact order of some of the questions are... I am in so much shock that my brain goes blank and I stand there staring at him. Then I manage to say " uh-huh" Then he says "well, nothing wrong with that". Then at one point he says "you interested in a girl here? "   I, at this point am thinking "what the f**k is going on"? I manage to mumble "umm, well there's Jenny...". I think I said this and I am so freaked out that I say "I'm freakin' out". He says, "this type of stuff happens all the time probably a misunderstanding but if store workers make a complaint we have to spring into action and do something. We have no choice."
And clearly this is about me since he asked whether I'm come here all the time etc. Then he says "how long have you been coming here?". I say, "well, the store's been open for three years so off and on before but regularly lately". In my head I'm thinking "what did I do for security to be called on me". For me this is a huge thing cause I've never been in trouble with the law and I was so stunned I couldn't think at all. That anyone would see me as any sort of problem that required security to tame freaked me out and I was all loopy in my head by now. Then he says "do you go to the store and chat people up, chat with customers, hang around and stuff and you've asked her out a couple of times?". I just stood there silently staring at him in complete shock. In my head I'm thinking "who in god's name has been saying that I asked her out!!!!!". I couldn't manage to say that" the customer spoke to me first!". I'm thinking why are they trying to list every small thing I did and trying to make it criminal. This is so f**ked up. He said "what's your name?" I was still unable to speak. I stood frozen and staring at him. "can I see some ID" he says.   He writes down my age, name and address. Then I say "who is this coming from? I just left there after buying two bars and the two girls working smiled at me." He says "We're on the phone with the owner" And I say "why did the black girl call security on me? I didn't even speak to her". He says "we've had complaints before.". I'm thinking "huh, if you had complaints before you would have pulled me aside then as you yourself stated that if someone makes a complaint you must take action". But I didn't utter a word cause my brain wasn't functioning. I find out it was one of the girls behind the counter who called security and I didn't even talk to her today.   When I went to the counter there were three people working. Now when I think back I realized the black girl picked up the phone and called security as soon as they saw me in the store. And, I do remember hearing a faint line between the two girls "there she is" and that's when the black girl picked up the phone. When I when up to pay the two girls smiled at me like nothing is wrong too. What the hell? Then the security asks "is she workin" today" I say "no". "Did you ask for her?" I say "no" My head was reeling and I blurt out "she gave me her number" with a baffled look on my face. "And she asked for mine". At this point one more security guard arrived and she just stood near me and looked me up and down never saying a word even though I was trying to talk to her. So I gave up and continued talking to the other guard. He gets on the walkie-talkie and says (the whole time we were talking he was listening to someone on his shoulder-attached walkie-talkie "she gave her number" and he says back to me "it's fake". I'm thinking why the f**k would she go to the trouble of giving me a fake number. I didn't believe it for a second and why then would she ask for mine   Apparently, the owner and the girl were on the phone with the supervisor. Still not believing it came from her I say "is this coming from her?". He says "yes, yes". I still am in shock and I remain silent. Something is very wrong here. He says into his walkie "what do you want to do". Then he looks at me and says "you are banned for a year" I say "but I'm here everyday" he says "be that as it may you're still banned". I felt like I was gonna start crying. He says " what are ya gonna do now?". I thought that was a ludicrous question! Obviously I have to leave sinc you just banned me. I say "can I appeal". He says "after a year of you're on good behaviour you can come again" Then he says "well, you can speak to the manager". then he gives me his card with his office number. The female officer says "don't we have to give her a form". He says "nope. At this moment two or three other officer guards arrive. I think "oh my god, why am I being surrounded. What kind of threat am I?". I blurt out "but I didn't do anything!". One of the new male guards says " you know what you did" very nastily. I felt violated and humiliated. I shut up in shock and exit the mall, walking in a trance. I feel so physically sick by now, my insides are like jelly. I think "f**k,f**k, this is not real. Not real." Never mind the fact that as I don't drive that this mall is where I able to reach easily and actually have been coming for 14 years and that my phone company, dentist, stylist are only available here. I still think something is so off and I still don't believe she called security on me; it must have been some other hideous story. What's the motive? I wanted an explanation from her!!!!! More detailed responses about the questions asked are given in my previous posts. This day is longer. More soon.

What do you think so far? Do I have any grounds? Also, why would I sue everyone? Wouldn't the lawyer know who exactly to sue?

No, no I'm will not be suing first. Right now I'm still waiting for the mall manager to call back after calling 8 days ago and leaving a message. Oxford Properties said to check if she can solve the problem. If not, then to come back to them. Then if she is silly too then I might go to Oxford or just get a lawyer letter instead as my next move. I want to know what you think about the story so far...it gets worse too. So, if you think they did nothing wrong wait till I complete the whole picture. In the meantime I wanted to find out from you if I have any grounds at all to sue so I can tell them I will sue if they don't fix this crap. I don't want to say "I'll sue you" like a fool when in fact I don't have anything to sue for...I don't want to contact any lawyers until I'm ready with the full story and until I see what the manager says. My maimn concern is while the manager can remove the bar she cannot punish the cashier. I want something done about her. Anyway, I'll continue the story soon because how I was treated makes me sick. I want to know what possible rights etc. have been violated.

I'm not sure because when I told the manager it would be impossible to ask her out since I'm gay he said "I can't discriminate based on orientation, mental illness etc. I just want to keep the mall safe". But my sister thinks I was discriminated against as before even talking to me he was disrespectful. I'll continue the story so you get the whole picture.

Yep, sorry.I meant "not gay" yet after this comment he still said things that lead me to believe that he didn't believe me.

Contd. story:

So I exit the mall and call my sister to come get me because I was so upset I would've left town if I didn't tell her to do something. I've never had anyone say anything malicious about me ever.   She tells me to go to a Starbucks nearby as it's the only place you can hang about in the area I was in is the mall! So I take a bus to the Starbucks. And I was banned from all the surrounding stores like the Milestones and Loblaws outside the mall too. We meet and talk for a bit and my sister was so taken aback by what happened. She said "I feel like I'm in the twilight zone." I say "I'm so freaked out" and I tell her everything that happened. I say "I still can't believe this came from her. I want to talk to her to find out what happened!!!". She says "don't do anything till I come back". I say "hurry back then, cause I can't stand this anymore" She says "I'm gonna go find out what is going on". While she was gone I was physically sick from thinking about what just happened. All I wanted to do is ask the cashier what I did wrong. My sister didn't come back for a while and I was so freaked out and upset that anyone in this world could find me threatening that I just had to know right now why all this happened. So I use the email and number the cashier had given to me and I text once and email once and I tried calling but it just kept ringing. She did say she didn't have voicemail. I say stuff like "did you want the security on me" and "I had no idea I made you uncomfortable" etc, etc. I hoped maybe this was all some sort of huge misunderstanding and perhaps someone at the store (all are family friends) told her boyfriend she has been chatting with a customer frequently or told her brother and since she doesn't want to admit she was interested in me the cashier went along with getting rid of me. I know her boyfriend is controlling and that her brother started watching the cameras in the stores only recently (it seems) and perhaps he got angry she kept talking instead of working and asked her about it; so she decided to blame me. My sister comes back with a freaked-out look on her face which made my stomach turn. She said the manager had left but she talked to the dispatcher (the guy who got the call) and he said that he was told that: " I asked her out numerous times even though she try to hint she isn't interested. I was followed to her car. I was stalking her. I leave her notes. I hung about the store on the Mon and didn't buy any chocolate and some stuff I don't remember.". I wasn't told this stuff when I was pulled asked. The big one being that I followed her to her car. Then he asked my sister "if I have a habit of stalking people or if I'm mentally ill". My sister said "hell no". Then I asked my sister if all this is coming from the cashier. She says "yes"! I was at this point reeling. She has turned everything I did into something criminal like I was strange!!!! "But she gave me her number" I say. My sister says "it's fake". I'm thinking why did she go to all this trouble to put so much effort into being friendly like she liked me and now she did a whole 360-turn. I swear to you until security pulled me aside I had no idea I was unwelcome! The Monday she was complaining about she talked to me like a f**king friend. She even showed me a personal photo!!! I'm sorry but I certainly would not talk to anyone I was truly afraid of. My sister said that she ran back to the store and called her brother cause was afraid me and went through the employee exit to avoid cause she came backa and saw me waiting which is so crazy because she left me waiting for her sounding all normal. I described these events in detail in the previous stories! So I started crying that how could she be so f**ked-up. We then called the manager and waited for him to call back. Why am I being banned for a year like some sort of sicko cause she misinterpreted or has issues!! And she has told everyone who works in the store which is like 10 people. I saw one of them on the bus and she kept glancing at me like I was a criminal and like she was afraid of me. We both got off at town centre and she started jogging looking like she was afraid I was gonna do something. I got so upset I was shaking that someone is afraid of me and thinks I'm a creep. I ran into the girl that was present in the store the day security was called. I ran into this girl after we had met with the manager so it's clear to me he never tols my side of the story to them. To this day, I'm sure she still thinks I was asking her out which makes me sick. Anyway, I continue the manger meeting story next. The mall manager called back. She said she'll look into it and call back. That was 8 days ago. Hopefully, she listens to me. So, does this new story help you in letting me know which rights have been violated?
What do you think so far?

Will a lawyer who was called to the bar in 2008 versus one who called in 1981 be less expensive to useto sue? If the two lawyers worked for the same firm would the newly-minted lawyer charge less for a letter than a veteran? Also, how long does a lawyer need to prepare a letter and what information will the lawyer need from me?

Story will be contd. soon...

Do you have any tips on how not to get swindled by a yound lawyer? Like, how much less should they charge compared to a veteran in the same firm? Also, will going with a newbie work against me in the end as a young lawyer will take more time to figure out what my options are...? Also,who will the lawyer send the letter to?

So, my sister calls the manager like twice and he called back and my sister said "how can you just take this girl's word and not listen to my sister at all" and "we've been coming her for 14 years with no problem and "there's no way my sister asked anyone out". My sister said he asked whether I work, go to school or have a driver license. I was incensed as to how these questions are relevant to the matter at hand. What was he trying to establish by asking these questions? I'm a very private person in general so these questions were not okay with me. Is it legal for him to ask these questions? And he was unwilling to meet. He said "how about I change the bar to 6 months if you forget about the meeting" he told my sister "tell her if I meet with her I'm taking the 6 month bar off the table but I'll give it to you now if you forget about the meeting". I said "I want to meet" obviously. What the f**k is this? Without even hearing me speak one word he is changing the bar from one year to 6 months for no reason? How is this rational? He also told my sister that "your sister is probably lying to you" and that he refuses to meet with me unless my sister accompanies me. Isn't this ridiculous? I feel sick at how even before meeting me he is behaving. So, we go to the security office and are told to wait outside the office in the mall. So we sit and wait on bench near the security office. He arrives and was behaving normally with my sister. He shook her hand and smiled at her and he started to lead her into the office. He didn't even look at me but I tried to be my usual friendly self and attempted to shake his hand and smile to which he grudgingly accepted but still barely acknowledged me. My sister noticed this too. I knew from this point that he had already made up his mind about me. I was devastated but I thought if I just answer all his questions and all then the truth shall set me free but things just got worse. So we go into a conference room and wait for him to arrive and my sister is not good with these kind of things and she started freaking out so she remained quiet during the whole thing mostly. Then he comes in and I say "I'm nervous" and he says "no reason to be" to which I think in my head "yah right" I'm sure of the exact order the questions were asked but I'll try my best. He says "wait" and makes some notes and then he says "did you tell the cashier to "watch her back"". Then I look at my sister incredulously and he says "don't look at her!" As if I was trying to get hints as to how to answer the question from her.   In my head I was thinking "are you f**king kidding me". I couldn't believe that he just asked me that. Had the world gone mad? I already told you about this. I'll repeat it briefly: once I went in and I expected the cashier to be there. So when I went to counter to pay instead of straining my neck to look around the store I thought "why not just ask". The same 2 girls who called security on me were the same two girls present on this day. Anyway, I say "is Margarita (her real name is XXXXX XXXXX not Jenny--I'm using it now because I think this matters for another reason--coming up shortly) in? They say "she's on break, do you want me to give her a message?" I thought in my head "hmm, what could be funny" as I usually will say anything to make someone laugh. So I say "ya, tell her to watch her back". They laugh and the black girl says "I like it" and the other girl smiles too. They both acted as they should because the line is said often by teens etc. I said it because I wanted Margarita to know it was ME who asked for her cause I'm sure she will know it's me by that line as I told her I have a strange sense of humour. And I knew these girls don't know me so how else would Margarita know it was me. When I see her I say "did they give you my message " she says "no". I tell her "I told them to tell you to watch your back" but she didn't seem responsive as she was busy doing something. Right after I say "aren't you gonna bow? I generally bow before royalty. Didn't your mama ever teach ye...". I say this joke as I had jsut come in so I thought she should bow before me as I'm royalty. Ha. So I was being my usual silly self. No threats here so I couldn't believe that was written in the report. Don't forget that's it's complete nonsense as she continued to talk to me for weeks after this so-called threatening incident. The manager is going on a fishing expedition. Note how this wasn't told to me before either. So I tell him, how I explained it to you above. Then he says "you know if you told me to watch my back I would be afraid ya know". I say " but I wouldn't say it to you!". He says "I'm sitting across from you right now, do I seem frightening to you" in my head I say "yes" but I didn't voice it. He kept going and on about how nobody talks like that and that if the police were present at the time I made the comment I would've been arrested. Uh-huh. I say "people say this stuff all the time. The cashier was aware of my humour-type by this time. I even once asked her whether she thinks I'm a freak cause of my humour and she said "I like it"" and I continue saying to him "just the other day my friend said 'feel free to kill me' cause she cancelled some plans one me". Like that's how I talk! He says "keep it within your circle of friends" and I look at him completely exhausted that this was even brought up. What kind of irrational person pretends to be afraid of someone or maybe is genuinely afraid and then continues to laugh and converse with me. This cashier is nuts! How was I suppose to know she felt so-called threatened if she acts friendly towards me and still shares her life stories with me! Contd. soon.

This meeting gets worse. What do you think so far? Do I have any grounds to sue? Also, what sort of action can be taken against the cashier for stating speculations as facts and causing me to to be punished.

Sorry, but I'm disappointed by your last response. It seems to be a textbook response. I wanted specifics. The questions I typed in my last post were for you to answer. which parts of the story seems unfair and that a lawyer can use to get me back in the mall?

But I just wanted to know if the manager's behaviour is bad enough for me to complain at all. Because I've read that "defamation" only works if you have any standing in the community which I don't. Thanks for making the exception.

Well, the mall manager called back and said "sorry, but I have to let the bar stand because I said "watch your back""!!!!! Theyu have a zero tolerance policy even if you were joking! Is it fair? The girl continued laughing for weeks and jokiing with me so how should I know she was uncomfortable. And she didn't even consider how I was treated by the security manager and the guards. So, is it worth going to a lawyer now? Can he help?

Relist: Incomplete answer.
I wanted specific answers so I asked specific questions to which the responses were mainly generalized. I typed up the story in detail because of its nature.

I wanted a more complete answer beginning with this previous post:

Do you have any tips on how not to get swindled by a yound lawyer? Like, how much less should they charge compared to a veteran in the same firm? Also, will going with a newbie work against me in the end as a young lawyer will take more time to figure out what my options are...? Also,who will the lawyer send the letter to?

So, my sister calls the manager like twice and he called back and my sister said "how can you just take this girl's word and not listen to my sister at all" and "we've been coming her for 14 years with no problem and "there's no way my sister asked anyone out". My sister said he asked whether I work, go to school or have a driver license. I was incensed as to how these questions are relevant to the matter at hand. What was he trying to establish by asking these questions? I'm a very private person in general so these questions were not okay with me. Is it legal for him to ask these questions? And he was unwilling to meet. He said "how about I change the bar to 6 months if you forget about the meeting" he told my sister "tell her if I meet with her I'm taking the 6 month bar off the table but I'll give it to you now if you forget about the meeting". I said "I want to meet" obviously. What the f**k is this? Without even hearing me speak one word he is changing the bar from one year to 6 months for no reason? How is this rational? He also told my sister that "your sister is probably lying to you" and that he refuses to meet with me unless my sister accompanies me. Isn't this ridiculous? I feel sick at how even before meeting me he is behaving. So, we go to the security office and are told to wait outside the office in the mall. So we sit and wait on bench near the security office. He arrives and was behaving normally with my sister. He shook her hand and smiled at her and he started to lead her into the office. He didn't even look at me but I tried to be my usual friendly self and attempted to shake his hand and smile to which he grudgingly accepted but still barely acknowledged me. My sister noticed this too. I knew from this point that he had already made up his mind about me. I was devastated but I thought if I just answer all his questions and all then the truth shall set me free but things just got worse. So we go into a conference room and wait for him to arrive and my sister is not good with these kind of things and she started freaking out so she remained quiet during the whole thing mostly. Then he comes in and I say "I'm nervous" and he says "no reason to be" to which I think in my head "yah right" I'm sure of the exact order the questions were asked but I'll try my best. He says "wait" and makes some notes and then he says "did you tell the cashier to "watch her back"". Then I look at my sister incredulously and he says "don't look at her!" As if I was trying to get hints as to how to answer the question from her.   In my head I was thinking "are you f**king kidding me". I couldn't believe that he just asked me that. Had the world gone mad? I already told you about this. I'll repeat it briefly: once I went in and I expected the cashier to be there. So when I went to counter to pay instead of straining my neck to look around the store I thought "why not just ask". The same 2 girls who called security on me were the same two girls present on this day. Anyway, I say "is Margarita (her real name is XXXXX XXXXX not Jenny--I'm using it now because I think this matters for another reason--coming up shortly) in? They say "she's on break, do you want me to give her a message?" I thought in my head "hmm, what could be funny" as I usually will say anything to make someone laugh. So I say "ya, tell her to watch her back". They laugh and the black girl says "I like it" and the other girl smiles too. They both acted as they should because the line is said often by teens etc. I said it because I wanted Margarita to know it was ME who asked for her cause I'm sure she will know it's me by that line as I told her I have a strange sense of humour. And I knew these girls don't know me so how else would Margarita know it was me. When I see her I say "did they give you my message " she says "no". I tell her "I told them to tell you to watch your back" but she didn't seem responsive as she was busy doing something. Right after I say "aren't you gonna bow? I generally bow before royalty. Didn't your mama ever teach ye...". I say this joke as I had jsut come in so I thought she should bow before me as I'm royalty. Ha. So I was being my usual silly self. No threats here so I couldn't believe that was written in the report. Don't forget that's it's complete nonsense as she continued to talk to me for weeks after this so-called threatening incident. The manager is going on a fishing expedition. Note how this wasn't told to me before either. So I tell him, how I explained it to you above. Then he says "you know if you told me to watch my back I would be afraid ya know". I say " but I wouldn't say it to you!". He says "I'm sitting across from you right now, do I seem frightening to you" in my head I say "yes" but I didn't voice it. He kept going and on about how nobody talks like that and that if the police were present at the time I made the comment I would've been arrested. Uh-huh. I say "people say this stuff all the time. The cashier was aware of my humour-type by this time. I even once asked her whether she thinks I'm a freak cause of my humour and she said "I like it"" and I continue saying to him "just the other day my friend said 'feel free to kill me' cause she cancelled some plans one me". Like that's how I talk! He says "keep it within your circle of friends" and I look at him completely exhausted that this was even brought up. What kind of irrational person pretends to be afraid of someone or maybe is genuinely afraid and then continues to laugh and converse with me. This cashier is nuts! How was I suppose to know she felt so-called threatened if she acts friendly towards me and still shares her life stories with me! Contd. soon.

This meeting gets worse. What do you think so far? Do I have any grounds to sue? Also, what sort of action can be taken against the cashier for stating speculations as facts and causing me to to be punished.