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Answered in 20 minutes by:
10/23/2008
Flagbridge-CDN, Arbitrator
Category: Canada Law
Satisfied Customers: 4,618
Experience: Ontario Mediator/Arbitrator, and Legal Consultant. Law Graduate
VerifiedHello,
A few things.
First you should not discuss this with your son or use him as a broker. This will fuel her fire.
Secondly, if she says not to discuss with her, then you should limit your contact directly to her lawyer. Every time you talk to her lawyer, her bills go up. If you are compelled to call the lawyer, you should ask for mediation.
She can not expect a 50/50 split on all expenses, especially when there is a disparity in the income.
You really should get your own lawyer, perhaps consider one from Windsor or Sarnia.
There is no quick way to handle this, but based on what you have said above, her claim appears over the top.
You can call 1-900-565-4577. For $6 the Law Society will refer you to a lawyer for 30 minutes (either in person or on the phone)
Ask for a lawyer in Sarnia or Windsor. I strongly suggest you secure your own lawyer before you talk to hers.
Let me know if you need any more info.
A few things.
First you should not discuss this with your son or use him as a broker. This will fuel her fire.
Secondly, if she says not to discuss with her, then you should limit your contact directly to her lawyer. Every time you talk to her lawyer, her bills go up. If you are compelled to call the lawyer, you should ask for mediation.
She can not expect a 50/50 split on all expenses, especially when there is a disparity in the income.
You really should get your own lawyer, perhaps consider one from Windsor or Sarnia.
There is no quick way to handle this, but based on what you have said above, her claim appears over the top.
You can call 1-900-565-4577. For $6 the Law Society will refer you to a lawyer for 30 minutes (either in person or on the phone)
Ask for a lawyer in Sarnia or Windsor. I strongly suggest you secure your own lawyer before you talk to hers.
Let me know if you need any more info.
There are two issues.
1. Custody
2. Support, past and future.
So lets break it down into these two issues.
Custody:
Your son is old enough to decide where he wants to live.
Your daughters age is significant enough to take her wishes into significant consideration.
Because of the age, the custody thing should not go to court. It is futile, which is what you can explain to the lawyer.
The wishes of the children should take precedence here.
This is a common ground that you may have to help negotiate. When negotiating and at two different ends of the spectrum, finding common ground is a good way to start to proceed.
When you talk to the lawyer talk in a very solution oriented reasonable way.
Support:
2. The support issue is complicated. You are correct that she can not spend beyond your means and expect you to cover half of it. In a joint custody situation both parents have the rights to make decisions. If a decision is significant then both parents must agree.
When talking support ask the lawyer for an itemized list jsutifying the expenses. Go through the list, comment on each item. Then put your own list together.
Finally call 1-888-373-2222 and ask for the FEDERAL CHILD SUPPORT GUIDELINE KIT.
It is a kit published by the government to advise individuals on how the child support is calculated. You can use that to establish what the payment guidelines are.
When you put your spreadsheet together, her spreadsheet with comments, and then reference the support guidelines, you will understand and show what your obligations are.
From there you can explain to the lawyer, that mediation is the only way to go, as you are acting pro se. (on your own).
Does that help?
1. Custody
2. Support, past and future.
So lets break it down into these two issues.
Custody:
Your son is old enough to decide where he wants to live.
Your daughters age is significant enough to take her wishes into significant consideration.
Because of the age, the custody thing should not go to court. It is futile, which is what you can explain to the lawyer.
The wishes of the children should take precedence here.
This is a common ground that you may have to help negotiate. When negotiating and at two different ends of the spectrum, finding common ground is a good way to start to proceed.
When you talk to the lawyer talk in a very solution oriented reasonable way.
Support:
2. The support issue is complicated. You are correct that she can not spend beyond your means and expect you to cover half of it. In a joint custody situation both parents have the rights to make decisions. If a decision is significant then both parents must agree.
When talking support ask the lawyer for an itemized list jsutifying the expenses. Go through the list, comment on each item. Then put your own list together.
Finally call 1-888-373-2222 and ask for the FEDERAL CHILD SUPPORT GUIDELINE KIT.
It is a kit published by the government to advise individuals on how the child support is calculated. You can use that to establish what the payment guidelines are.
When you put your spreadsheet together, her spreadsheet with comments, and then reference the support guidelines, you will understand and show what your obligations are.
From there you can explain to the lawyer, that mediation is the only way to go, as you are acting pro se. (on your own).
Does that help?
Flagbridge-CDN, Arbitrator
Category: Canada Law
Satisfied Customers: 4,618
Experience: Ontario Mediator/Arbitrator, and Legal Consultant. Law Graduate
VerifiedFlagbridge-CDN and 87 other Canada Law Specialists are ready to help you
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